Ned Vizzini

Battle of the Beasts


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smelled like my nether regions after a long air battle. I told the man, ‘Your Days Inn operation is an embarrassment. Our hotel standards are much higher in London!’ He said, ‘Then go back to your country, Sally.’ Now why would he call me ‘Sally’?”

      “No clue,” said Brendan.

      “And then,” continued Will, “he said something very nasty about the Royal Family. And that … put me over the edge.”

      “So what did you do?” asked Eleanor.

      “I punched him.”

      “Oh jeez,” said Cordelia.

      “He went down like a sack of bricks and gave me my money back.”

      “So why didn’t you come to us?” said Cordelia. “We would have helped you.”

      “I had this mad notion,” said Will, “that if I could just get into an aeroplane … I could fly back to London.”

      “Home,” Cordelia said sadly.

      “Exactly. Where it might be easier to acclimatise to this time. And then, after I got my bearings, I would return to San Francisco, reunite with you lot.”

      “Don’t tell me you went to the airport,” said a cautious Brendan.

      “Yes,” said Will, “and when I arrived, I asked a woman if I could please fly a plane.”

      “Are you insane?” asked Eleanor.

      “That’s exactly what she said,” said Will. “But I told her, ‘How can you deny a war hero the right to fly?’”

      “Aeroplanes are kind of different these days,” said Brendan.

      “I realise that,” said Will. “But with my experience, I figured it would take a day, maybe two, to learn.”

      The Walkers exchanged a roll-eyed glance. Even though he was living on the streets, Will’s ego was healthier than ever.

      “The woman refused my request,” said Will. “So I was left with only one option. Climb over the runway fence—”

      “Oh no.”

      “Find an unoccupied aeroplane—”

      “Bad move.”

      “Climb into the cockpit, and learn the controls.”

      “So what happened?” asked Eleanor.

      “I didn’t even get halfway up the fence before I found myself surrounded by eight bobbies!” said Will. “They took me to the station house, and when I asked the desk sergeant to call the Walker family on Sea Cliff Avenue, I was told there was no one by that name on that street.”

      “Wait … I know,” said Cordelia. “We had just moved, so we were probably still listed at our old address.”

      “The next morning I met with my court-appointed lawyer, and I told him the truth: how I was originally a character in a novel about World War One, how I met you three …”

      “I’ll bet that went down well,” said Brendan.

      “The lawyer told me I could be let off on account of being mentally unwell, and after a few weeks in city jail, that’s what happened. I hit the streets, scavenging garbage containers for food, begging for money, and here I am.”

      “Why didn’t you contact us?” asked Cordelia. “We would have helped.”

      “I didn’t want you to see me like this,” said Will. “Down so low. But this morning I realised, after spending three weeks in the Tenderloin, being screamed at by pedestrians, kicked, punched by drug addicts, spit on by gang members … I knew I had to come back, that I had to find you. I realised that if I didn’t see you all again, I would die a second time.”

      Will looked down, then up. There was a sad flatness to his voice. “So what are you going to do with me?”

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      The entire time Will spoke, Cordelia had run her tongue along her teeth. It was a nervous response to his tale, which she felt responsible for. She should have known better than to send him downtown. While she had spent the last few weeks worrying about the Student Tutoring Programme, he had been worried about eating.

      “I’m taking you home, getting you cleaned up, and giving you some money,” she said, grabbing Will’s hand.

      “But Cordelia. You said that your parents—”

      “They’re gone. Dad is off at some conference—”

      “Gambling, you mean,” Eleanor cut in.

      “And Mom is at … what day is it, Friday? She’s at the gym. C’mon, Will. You’ve been through enough.”

      “Um … Cordelia, can I talk to you in private?” Brendan asked.

      “Why?”

      “C’mere.” Brendan pulled Cordelia away from Will. Eleanor joined them, and suddenly Will was left standing by himself.

      “I’m not sure we should trust him,” Brendan whispered.

      “How can you say that? He’s our friend—”

      “Exactly,” said Brendan. “The Will we know would have come back to us the next day. This guy could be evil-clone Will; he could be the Wind Witch pretending to be Will—”

      “You’re wrong,” said Cordelia. “I completely trust him. A hundred per cent.”

      “But you’ve got a big blind spot.”

      “What’s that supposed to mean?”

      “You wanna smooch him.”

      “No!” Cordelia said. “I just want to help him. What do you think, Eleanor?”

      Eleanor looked back at Will. “He looks kinda gross, but I think you can trust him.”

      “So that’s two against one,” Cordelia said to Brendan. “And I took that self-defence class last summer. I think I can handle myself around Will.”

      “Suit yourself,” Brendan said, “but I don’t trust him.”

      Cordelia hugged her brother and said, “I appreciate you looking out for me, I really do.” Then she turned and went to Will. “Have a good day at school, guys!”

      Brendan and Eleanor waved goodbye, and in a few moments they were continuing on while Will and Cordelia walked back towards Kristoff House.

      “Aren’t you upset about missing school?” Will asked.

      “This is an emergency.” Cordelia squeezed Will’s hand.

      A strange thing happened as they walked home: Cordelia’s arm began to feel cold again, like it had before, when she saw the ice under her skin. She tried to ignore it at first, but found it was easier to let the cold feeling travel through her, to feel it in her heart and guts and limbs. That way Will felt warmer. He was holding her hand tight, as if it had been a long time since he felt a person’s touch. Cordelia liked that.

      “Your hand is freezing,” Will said.

      “I know,” said Cordelia. “Hopefully you’ll warm it up.”

      They exchanged a smile.

      When they got to the house, the fog was clearing. Cordelia led Will down the pebbled path – then yelped and pulled him behind a tree.

      “What?”

      “That’s