Jonathan Meres

Koala Calamity


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      “Aaaaaaaaaaagh!” screamed Dude and Bro, together.

      A few seconds later, Squirt appeared – breathless from climbing back up the trunk in double-quick time, but triumphant nevertheless.

      “I did it! I did it!” he cried, clutching a brilliant white feather in one of his paws.

      “Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude. “You did, didn’t you? Good on yer, Squirt!”

      Bro shook his head in disbelief, but couldn’t help chuckling too.

      What with all the squawking and all the chuckling, no one noticed Mrs M suddenly appear in the treetop.

      “What’s going on?” she said.

      “Nothing, Ma,” said Bro.

      “Hello, Dude,” said Mrs M.

      “G’day, Mrs M,” said Dude. “Still no sign of the joey then?”

      “Any day now,” smiled Mrs M, patting her pouch. “Any day now.”

      “I reckon it’s going to be a girl,” said Dude.

      “Do you, now?” said Mrs M.

      “I reckon it’s gonna be annoying,” said Bro. “Even more annoying than Squirt.”

      “Hello, Squirty-Wirty,” said Mrs M. “Didn’t see you there!”

      “Maaaaaa!” said Squirt through gritted teeth. “I’ve told you not to call me that!”

      “Aw, have you?” squeaked Mrs M. “Come to Mumsy-Wumsy for a cuddly-wuddly!”

      “No!” said Squirt. “Don’t want to!”

      “Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Bro.

      “Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude.

      Squirt was embarrassed. His mum calling him Squirty-Wirty was bad enough – but doing it in front of Dude and Bro was even worse! It was a good job koalas couldn’t blush.

      It’s not fair, thought Squirt. He’d brought his brother a eucalyptus branch. He’d nabbed a feather from the sulphur-crested cockatoo. And still they were making fun of him! When were they going to stop treating him like a baby?

      “Come on, boys,” said Mrs M. “Time to go.”

      Dude and Bro immediately stopped chuckling.

      “Go?” said Bro. “Go where?”

      “The big zoo!” said Mrs M. “Remember?”

      Bro looked at Dude, then at Mrs M. He clearly hadn’t remembered. Neither had Squirt.

      “We’re all going to the big zoo on the other side of the city!” said Mrs M.

      “All of us?” said Squirt.

      “Just us koalas,” said Mrs M.

      “How long for?” said Squirt.

      “A month,” said Mrs M. “Think of it as a holiday!”

      Squirt thought for a moment. A holiday? That sounded like fun! A lot of the folk that came to the sanctuary came because they were on holiday. But he’d never had one before. He’d never been anywhere else before. He’d lived his whole life here. There was a big world out there waiting to be discovered – and Squirt couldn’t wait to discover it.

      “Cool!” said Squirt.

      “Not cool,” said Bro.

      “What?” said Squirt.

      “Not cool at all,” said Bro. “Most uncool. Isn’t that right, Dude?”

      “What’s that, Bro?” said Dude.

      “Why can’t we just stay here?” said Bro, stifling a massive yawn. “We’ve got trees to chill in… All the eucy branches we can eat… There’s no need to go anywhere else!”

      “Well, we’re going, whether you like it or not,” said Mrs M. “Now hurry up or we’ll miss the truck.”

      “Whoa! A truck?” said Squirt excitedly. “Cool!”

      Bro shot Squirt a glance. “Not cool.”

      Squirt thought for a moment. “Erm. Guess you’re right. It’s not that cool.”

      “Come on,” said Mrs M.

      “In a minute, Ma,” said Bro. “There’s something me and Dude need to do first.”

      Dude did his best to furrow his brow again. “There is?”

      “We need to see a man about a dingo,” said Bro.

      “We do?” said Dude.

      Bro glared at Dude and nodded furiously. “Yeah, we do!”

      “Ohhhhh. Yeah, we do,” said Dude. “We definitely do need to see a man about a dingo.”

      “Well, don’t be long,” said Mrs M. “The truck’s leaving soon. You don’t want to miss it.”

      “Wanna bet?” muttered Bro.

      “Come on, Squirty-Wirty!” said Mrs M, beginning to climb back down the tree.

      Squirt didn’t even notice his mum calling him Squirty-Wirty. He was busy thinking. Going on holiday to the big zoo sounded cool. But seeing a man about a dingo with his big brother and his big brother’s friend sounded pretty cool too.

      “I’ll just be a minute, Ma!” called Squirt as Mrs M disappeared from view.

      Bro stared at Squirt. “What do you think you’re doing?”

      “I’m coming with you!” grinned Squirt.

      “Where to?” said Bro.

      “To see a man about a dingo!”

      Dude and Bro turned to each other.

      “Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Bro.

      “Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude.

      “Why are you laughing?” said Squirt.

      “We’re not really going to see a man about a dingo, ya dingo!” said Bro.

      “You’re not?” said Squirt, sounding disappointed.

      “It’s just an expression!”

      “But…” began Squirt.

      “But nothing,” said Bro. “We’re just going to grab a quick forty winks before the truck goes. Isn’t that right, mate?”

      “Totally, mate,” said Dude, stifling a yawn.

      Yawns are very catching and before he knew it, Squirt was yawning too. He didn’t want to feel sleepy. There was far too much happening. There was much too much excitement in the air! But, well – it wouldn’t hurt if he closed his eyes for just a few minutes, would it? No, thought Squirt. It wouldn’t. And that’s exactly what he did.

      

’day, mate,” said Bro, yawning and rubbing his eyes. “Reckon we must’ve dropped off for a minute there.” There was no reply from Dude. Dude was still fast asleep.

      Bro stretched his arms. After eating eucalyptus leaves, catching rays and sleeping, stretching was one of Bro’s favourite things in the whole wide world. Well – in The Acacia Koala Sanctuary anyway.

      “Aw,