Jonathan Meres

Koala Calamity - Surf’s Up!


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      “When was the last time I asked you to do something?” said Mrs M. “Actually do something?”

      Bro thought for a moment. He couldn’t remember the last time his mum had asked him to do something, but that wasn’t the point. The point was he’d got better things to do today than look after his pesky little sister. Like sleep. And chow down a few juicy eucy branches. And catch a few rays.

      “Well?” insisted Mrs M.

      “Erm…” said Bro.

      “Precisely,” said Mrs M. “It’s high time you boys started to help out a bit and show some responsibility!”

      Squirt wasn’t entirely sure what responsibility was, but whatever it was, it sounded very grown-up and important. “I don’t mind, Mum.”

      “Creep,” muttered Bro, glaring at Squirt.

      “You’re a good boy, Squirty-wirty,” said Mrs M.

      “Please don’t call me that, Mum,” said Squirt through gritted teeth.

      “You coming or what, Mrs M?” called Mr M from somewhere down below.

      Mrs M smiled. “I’d better go before he falls asleep again!”

      “I know how he feels,” muttered Bro.

      “Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude.

      “Coming, Mr M!” called Mrs M.

      “Mummy, bye-bye! Mummy, bye-bye!” squeaked Squeak, flinging herself at Mrs M.

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      “Bye-bye, Squeaky-weaky,” laughed Mrs M. “You be a good girl, now. And you boys behave yourselves!”

      “We will!” said Squirt. “Won’t we, guys?”

      “What?” said Bro. “Oh, yeah.”

      “Totally, mate,” said Dude. “Totally.”

      “Good,” said Mrs M, disentangling herself from Squeak’s clutches. “We’ll be back by nightfall.”

      And with that, Mrs M was gone, leaving Squirt, Dude, Bro and Squeak alone in the treetop once more.

      “Talking of nightfall,” said Bro, stretching and yawning.

      “Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude, doing exactly the same.

      Squirt couldn’t believe his eyes. “You’re not going back to sleep, are you?”

      “Too right I am, mate,” said Bro. “Unless you’ve got any better ideas?”

      “But…” began Squirt.

      “But, what?” said Bro.

      “We’re supposed to be looking after Squeak!” said Squirt.

      “Oi, less of the we,” said Bro, wedging himself firmly between a couple of branches and closing his eyes.

      “What do you mean?” asked Squirt.

      “Well, you’re the one who said you didn’t mind,” said Bro.

      “So?” said Squirt.

      “So you look after her!” replied Bro.

      “Me?” said Squirt.

      “Yeah!” said Squeak, launching herself at Squirt and bouncing up and down on him. “Squirty-wirty! Squirty-wirty!”

      “Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Dude.

      “Yeah!” said Squeak, turning her attention to Dude and bouncing up and down on him instead. “Dudey-wudey! Dudey-wudey!”

      “Heh-heh-heh,” chuckled Bro, before stopping suddenly and glaring at his baby sister. “Don’t even think about bouncing on me!”

      Squeak stopped bouncing. “What are we doing?”

      “Well, I dunno about you guys, but I know what I’m doing,” said Bro, wedging himself even more firmly between the branches and closing his eyes even more tightly.

      “Poo, poo!” said Squeak indignantly.

      Bro sighed. It didn’t look like he was going to get much kip as long as Squeak was around. He needed to think of something for her to do. Something to keep her busy for as long as possible. But what?

      “Poo, poo!” squeaked Squeak again, bouncing up and down. “Poo, poo! Poo, poo!”

      Bro cranked open an eye and looked at his sister. Where on earth did she get all that energy from? Had he been like that when he was a baby? Surely not! And then suddenly it hit him – the perfect way to tire Squeak out!

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      “Hey, Squeak,” said Bro. “Wanna have some fun?”

      “Yeah!” squeaked Squeak. “Fun, fun, funny fun!”

      “OK,” said Bro. “Find the tallest tree you can.”

      “And then?” said Squeak.

      “Climb as high as you can,” said Bro.

      “And then?” said Squeak.

      “Get a leaf,” said Bro.

      “And then?” said Squeak.

      “Bring it back,” said Bro.

      “And then?” said Squeak.

      Bro thought for a moment. “And then I’ll think of something else.”

      “Erm…” said Squirt.

      “What?” grunted Bro, getting grumpier and grumpier.

      “I’m not sure that’s a very good idea,” said Squirt.

      “Oh, yeah?” replied Bro. “Well, I think it’s a great idea. What do you think, mate?”

      Dude didn’t reply straightaway. In fact, Dude didn’t reply at all. Not because he couldn’t think what to say, but because he’d fallen asleep again, which only made Bro even grumpier. It was his idea. It was him who should have fallen asleep again first!

      “Squeak?” said Squirt, looking round. “Where are you?”

      But it was too late. Squeak had already gone.

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      Image Missingquirt woke, not so much with a start, but more like the beginning of a start. Something didn’t feel quite right. In fact, something felt definitely wrong. But what? Squirt couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Or his claw on it anyway.

      He gave himself a nice, long scratch. Not only was scratching just about the best feeling in the whole wide world, it also helped Squirt to think. The effect was almost instant. Squirt suddenly remembered something. This wasn’t the first time he’d woken up today – it was the second time.

      Something nearby snored. Squirt looked round to see Dude and Bro, both fast asleep and cuddling each other. Squirt looked again. Odd, he thought. Dude appeared to be nibbling one of Bro’s ears.

      “Ouch!” yelled Bro, waking up suddenly and swatting Dude as if he was some kind of overgrown fly. “Gerroff me, ya big fat wallaby! You just bit my ear!”

      “Aw, sorry about that, mate,” said Dude.

      “I should think so too,” grumbled Bro.