Louise Rennison

Are these my basoomas I see before me?


Скачать книгу

to Bibbs, “Don’t you want to take Mr Potato Head into your nice bed? In your own room. In your own lovely, snugly…”

      She put her face really near mine and said, “Shhhhhhhhh.”

      Midnight I had to read Heidi to Libby and Mr Potato Head. She never tires of tales of cheese. I do.

      The bit that makes her laugh the most is when the little crippled girl falls out of her wheelchair.

      It’s not right.

      Wednesday September 21st Assembly 9:00 a.m. Oh, hurrah! We are having an “ad-hoc” assembly. No proper hymns that we can improvise hilarious lyrics to. No “Breathe on me BREAST of God” or “There are some green PANTS far away without a city wall…”

      Hang on a minute though, things are looking up. On to the stage came Herr Kamyer in a check shirt and a cowboy hat. With a guitar. And he is accompanied by Miss Wilson on ukulele.

      I said to Rosie, “I didn’t even know she could play the ukulele.”

      Two minutes later She can’t.

      This is torture. I don’t know if you have ever heard the Country and Western version of “All things bright and beautiful,” but I thoroughly don’t recommend it.

      I said to Rosie, “Quickly leap on stage and grab Herr Kamyer’s guitar and kill him with it.”

      She said, “Righty-o,” and started moving along the line. When she got to ADM on guard duty, she said to her, “Women’s trouble” and skipped off to the loos.

      Damn.

      Fifty-five million years later we were set free. Well, free if you think double maths is freedom. Which it isn’t.

      Maths Oh, shut up about numbers, why don’t you?

      Lunch Behind the fives court. Right, this was my chance to introduce the question of sophisticosity into the whole boynosity area.

      I began, “I’d like to open this meeting of the Ace Gang…”

      They were all looking at me attentively. Well, if you call people chewing and fiddling with their fringes and being fools attentive.

      I went on, “I have called this meeting of the Ace Gang…”

      Jools said, “One for all and all for one and one in all for one of us and so on?”

      I said, “Yes, well, shall we get on?”

      Ellen said, “Shall we do the group hug?”

      I said, “I think we can take the group hug as done.”

      Mabs said, “I really like the group hug.”

      Oh dear Gott in Himmel.

      Four minutes later The group hug practically turned into a love-in. Rosie would not let me go. She knows it annoys me so she keeps doing it.

      Eventually though, I beat her off and started again.

      “The thing, the serious thing I want to discuss is…”

      Rosie said, “My Viking wedding?”

      “Well, no I…”

      But it was too late. She had her beard out.

      Afternoon break

      Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

      Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

      Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

      Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

/9j/4QAYRXhpZgAASUkqAAgAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP/sABFEdWNreQABAAQAAABaAAD/4QN0aHR0cDov L25zLmFkb2JlLmNvbS94YXAvMS4wLwA8P3hwYWNrZXQgYmVnaW49Iu+7vyIgaWQ9Ilc1TTBNcENl aGlIenJlU3pOVGN6a2M5ZCI/PiA8eDp4bXBtZXRhIHhtbG5zOng9ImFkb2JlOm5zOm1ldGEvIiB4 OnhtcHRrPSJBZG9iZSBYTVAgQ29yZSA1LjAtYzA2MSA2NC4xNDA5NDksIDIwMTAvMTIvMDctMTA6 NTc6MDEgICAgICAgICI+IDxyZGY6UkRGIHhtbG5zOnJkZj0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMTk5 OS8wMi8yMi1yZGYtc3ludGF4LW5zIyI+IDxyZGY6RGVzY3JpcHRpb24gcmRmOmFib3V0PSIiIHht bG5zOnhtcFJpZ2h0cz0iaHR0cDovL25zLmFkb2JlLmNvbS94YXAvMS4wL3JpZ2h0cy8iIHhtbG5z OnhtcE1NPSJodHRwOi8vbnMuYWRvYmUuY29tL3hhcC8xLjAvbW0vIiB4bWxuczpzdFJlZj0iaHR0 cDovL25zLmFkb2JlLmNvbS94YXAvMS4wL3NUeXBlL1Jlc291cmNlUmVmIyIgeG1sbnM6eG1wPSJo dHRwOi8vbnMuYWRvYmUuY29tL3hhcC8xLjAvIiB4bXBSaWdodHM6TWFya2VkPSJGYWxzZSIgeG1w TU06RG9jdW1lbnRJRD0ieG1wLmRpZDoxRjcyMDQyNzZBNzYxMUUyODJFMkM2MkMzREQxODZBMiIg eG1wTU06SW5zdGFuY2VJRD0ieG1wLmlpZDoxRjcyMDQyNjZBNzYxMUUyODJFMkM2MkMzREQxODZB MiIgeG1wOkNyZWF0b3JUb29sPSJBZG9iZSBQaG90b3Nob3AgQ1MyIE1hY2ludG9zaCI+IDx4bXBN TTpEZXJpdmVkRnJvbSBzdFJlZjppbnN0YW5jZUlEPSJ1dWlkOkIwNzk2ODYxNEREMzExREU4NkUy QzU5MDAzRjRCRjNEIiBzdFJlZjpkb2N1bWVudElEPSJ1dWlkOkE4RUY5MzE2M0Q3QzExREU5QjZG QUY2MjREN0ZFQjU1Ii8+IDwvcmRmOkRlc2NyaXB0aW9uPiA8L3JkZjpSREY+IDwveDp4bXBtZXRh PiA8P3hwYWNrZXQgZW5kPSJyIj8+/+IMWElDQ19QUk9GSUxFAAEBAAAMSExpbm8CEAAAbW50clJH QiBYWVogB84AAgAJAAYAMQAAYWNzcE1TRlQAAAAASUVDIHNSR0IAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPbWAAEA AAAA0y1IUCAgAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR Y3BydAAAAVAAAAAzZGVzYwAAAYQAAABsd3RwdAAAAfAAAAAUYmtwdAAAAgQAAAAUclhZWgAAAhgA AAAUZ1hZWgAAAiwAAAAUYlhZWgAAAkAAAAAUZG1uZAAAAlQAAABwZG1kZAAAAsQAAACIdnVlZAAA A0wAAACGdmlldwAAA9QAAAAkbHVtaQAAA/gAAAAUbWVhcwAABAwAAAAkdGVjaAAABDAAAAAMclRS QwAABDwAAAgMZ1RSQwAABDwAAAgMYlRSQwAABDwAAAgMdGV4dAAAAABDb3B5cmlnaHQgKGMpIDE5 OTggSGV3bGV0dC1QYWNrYXJkIENvbXBhbnkAAGRlc2MAAAAAAAAAEnNSR0IgSUVDNjE5NjYtMi4x AAAAAAAAAAAAAAASc1JHQiBJRUM2MTk2Ni0yLjEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFhZWiAAAAAAAADzUQABAAAAARbMWFlaIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAABYWVogAAAAAAAAb6IAADj1AAADkFhZWiAAAAAAAABimQAAt4UAABjaWFlaIAAAAAAAACSg AAAPhAAAts9kZXNjAAAAAAAAABZJRUMgaHR0cDovL3d3dy5pZWMuY2gAAAAAAAAAAAAAABZJRUMg aHR0cDovL3d3dy5pZWMuY2gAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAZGVzYwAAAAAAAAAuSUVDIDYxOTY2LTIuMSBEZWZhdWx0IFJHQiBjb2xvdXIgc