This was not how Abby had imagined the subject coming up, so she diverted it. ‘I’m not lovesick, I’m in trouble. At work. Not trying hard enough with the events, according to Penelope. As far from a gold star as it’s possible to be.’ She poured crisps into a bowl and brought them into the living room, where Raffle was waiting eagerly. ‘Not for you.’ She rubbed his nose as she placed the bowl on the coffee table.
Raffle looked up imploringly and then settled on the rug, his nose on his paws.
‘How is that even possible?’ Tessa asked, sitting opposite her sister. ‘Haven’t you spent the whole day doing children’s activities? I couldn’t cope with that and I’ve got two of my own. Neil put a brave face on it when I left this evening, but Daisy was having a tantrum because her pink Rapunzel socks were in the washing machine. I thought about staying to help him, but then realized I didn’t want to.’ She smiled brightly and Abby laughed, always amazed by her sister’s relaxed attitude to parenthood. Daisy and Willow didn’t often go in for tantrums, and they adored their mum, who looked like she spent her days lounging by a pool with a good book instead of looking after two young children.
‘Poor old Neil,’ Abby said. ‘But I am glad to have you to myself. The others have gone to the Skylark to drink Guinness and listen to Gavin’s awful fake Irish accent.’
‘We can go if you’d like to?’ Tessa said.
Abby shook her head. ‘I want you to myself. I wanted to spend time with my sister.’
Tessa sat forward on the sofa, suddenly wary. ‘Have you seen Mum recently? Did she say something? What about Dad – has he been in touch?’
‘No, nothing like that.’ Abby took a long sip of wine, trying to fortify herself. How could she tell her sister how she felt about Jack when she hadn’t even mentioned that he existed before? He’d been in Meadowgreen for six months, twisting her mind into knots, and yet she hadn’t confided in the person she was closest to in the world. It had been part of her plan to let her feelings for him run their course, but instead the opposite had happened.
‘What, then? Come on Abby, you can’t hold out on me. This isn’t just about work, I can tell.’
Abby glanced at Raffle. He cocked his head, as if he was also waiting.
‘Jack Westcoat,’ she said, because that seemed like the best place to start.
Tessa frowned, and smoothed her artfully dyed lilac hair from her face. ‘Jack Westcoat? That writer who beat his friend up at some award thing last year? What’s he got to do with the price of fish?’
‘He didn’t beat him up,’ Abby said. ‘There was one punch, and things were – are – very complicated between them.’
Tessa folded her arms. ‘Why are you defending a famous author? Has Penelope’s negativity sent you round the twist?’
‘He’s here, in Meadowgreen,’ Abby said hurriedly, ripping off the metaphorical plaster. ‘He’s staying in the cottage close to the reserve, and I – I’ve spent a bit of time with him, gone on a couple of walks.’
‘What?’ Her sister’s voice was low, wary.
‘He complained about the reserve, and when I went to challenge him, we – I don’t know, Tessa, we’ve helped each other out. He’s been miserable, and I tripped one night, walking back in the dark, and he was—’
‘You like him,’ Tessa said sharply.
‘I don’t know.’ Abby rubbed her cheeks.
‘He hit someone, Abs. He was pissed off about something, and he used his fists to deal with it.’
‘He regrets it, more than anything.’
‘And isn’t that what Dad said every time he got into another row with Mum?’
‘That was different,’ Abby said. ‘So completely different to Jack. Whenever I’ve been with him, I haven’t felt remotely threatened, or that he’s even capable of something like that. Not even when he was angry about the reserve.’
‘But he is capable though, isn’t he? And from what I’ve read, his past isn’t exactly rosy. Didn’t he get up to all sorts with that friend when they were at uni together?’
Abby scooted forward, until she was precariously balanced on the edge of her chair. ‘All anyone knows is what was reported in the press. How can we judge him when we know nothing about what really happened?’
‘But presumably if you’re spending time with him, he’s spoken to you about it?’
‘Not a lot,’ Abby admitted. ‘But he’s been really down, Tessa. He’s hiding away to write a new book that he’s hoping will fix things, but he doesn’t know anyone and he’s isolated. He needs a friend.’
‘And so kind-hearted Abby Field drops everything as usual to help out someone else, someone who’s angry and upset, who’s lost control in the past. It doesn’t sound like a great balance to me. It sounds like he’s using you.’ Tessa sighed heavily. ‘This is so familiar, Abby. You’re walking over old ground, trying to save someone who isn’t worth it. Why don’t you think about yourself for a change and find someone who’ll look after you and won’t behave like a prick?’ Tessa’s eyes were bright, two points of colour on her porcelain cheeks.
‘I am thinking of myself,’ Abby shot back, stunned by her sister’s outburst. ‘I like him. A lot. And I’m struggling with all the things you’ve said, and I don’t know how he feels about me, not really. But I thought I could trust you. I haven’t told another soul and I wanted some reassurance, someone who’d talk it over with me, not – not attack him, or me, in the process!’ She felt tears spring to her eyes, as unexpected as her sister’s vehemence.
‘Shit,’ Tessa murmured, and then she was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of her. ‘I’m sorry, but I worry about you. Out here, just you and Raffle. It seems … lonely, to me.’
‘And yet the moment I find someone I like, you warn me off him. You don’t even know him!’
‘You’re right, I don’t. But I do know of him, and I can’t help but be concerned about that, can I? Doesn’t he live in London anyway? Surely he’s only here temporarily. You spend so much time saying you can’t deal with a new relationship, that you’re scared about falling for the wrong guy, and then you find this … this—’
‘He’s not a violent person. It was a one-off.’
‘How do you know Abby? How do you know he won’t turn, and then you’ll just put up with it, like you did with Dad?’
Anger blossomed in Abby’s chest. ‘I didn’t put up with it! I couldn’t leave, could I? Not like you, disappearing off to university. I had nowhere to go, Tessa! And if they hadn’t divorced, it would have gone on, getting worse and worse with me in the middle, without you there so we could look after each other. Don’t you dare say I put up with it!’
‘Sorry, sorry.’ Tessa took both of Abby’s hands in hers. ‘I know I – I wasn’t there. I’m sorry.’ Tears filled her eyes too, and Abby bit her lip, trying not to give into hers.
‘Jack isn’t like that,’ Abby whispered. ‘I’m convinced he isn’t.’ She thought back to his words, to him questioning why she could be so sure of him, and yet unsure of herself.
Tessa sighed. ‘So, you’re going out with him?’
Abby shook her head. ‘No, we’re just … friends.’
‘So, there is something holding you back?’ Tessa’s voice was soft.
‘I was hoping to talk to you, to see what you thought before I took it further. Now I know.’
‘I just want to protect you. I couldn’t bear it if you got hurt again. Tell me more about