After the Silence. Rula Sinara

back to my home on the other side of the world,” she said.

      Ben nodded and knelt down by Chad. He appreciated that Hope had set the stage, making sure his son knew she’d be leaving. In a planned way. Not unexpected, the way their mom left. The idea of his kids actually getting attached to her hadn’t crossed his mind when her visit was arranged. It was just a few months. But what if they did grow to like her and then lost her? He cursed to himself. Given the new situation, he realized that he really did need to find a new therapist for Maddie.

      “Is that where my mommy is? Are you going to trade places again, so my mommy will come back from the other side of the world?”

      Hope pressed her fingers against her lips, and her eyes glistened.

      “I’m sorry. I said the wrong thing,” she said, shaking her head at Ben.

      “No, it’s not you,” he said. God knew, Chad had a way of turning anything Ben said upside down, inside out and backward. He’d been told and had read on the internet about how kids Chad’s age and younger perceived death. How literal they were about everything. Chad often asked when Zoe would be coming back, a question that upset Maddie every time. Ben had started keeping a doorknob pick on his dresser after she began locking her bedroom door when Chad wouldn’t stop asking about their mom.

      He ruffled Chad’s hair.

      “Hey, buddy. Remember that I told you mommy’s not coming back? She’s not on the other side of the world. She died and went to heaven.”

      Chad’s shoulders rose and sank. “Okay. Can I have some pizza? Grandma said it would conti-paste me, even if I pooed the size of a dinosaur when you were gone.”

      “Then, I’d say you earned a piece. Grab a seat. You can have a slice, then it’s bedtime.”

      Hope’s lips parted as Chad climbed onto the chair next to hers. She was either speechless at how fast Chad switched gears or afraid to say anything more to the kid.

      “Let me help you with the pizza,” she said.

      “I’m assuming you’d prefer hot soup. Especially after freezing out there. Nina is a great cook. I’m sure it’s excellent. And healthy. So don’t let the fact that we’re eating pizza sway you,” he said, pulling two pizza boxes out of the fridge. He didn’t mind cold pizza for breakfast, but this was dinner. He wanted them hot. He opened a cabinet and grabbed a microwaveable dish.

      “My parents always insist on home cooking. It’s probably why I suffer from fast-food rebellion. And for the first time, my parents are too far to hover.” Hope stood at the end of the counter, sucking in her lower lip and gazing at the slices he was placing on a dish.

      “You want pizza?” he asked. She was around twenty-five, wasn’t she? And her parents still hovered? His mom had never had time to hover, though he imagined that Zoe’s parents probably had.

      Hope crinkled her nose. “I just traveled clear across the planet. Doesn’t that count for earning it?” she said, winking at Chad. “I love pizza. You wouldn’t deny me my first slice on American soil, would you?”

      Ben grinned. “You can have as much as you want.”

      He took the pot on the stove and popped it into the fridge, then started the microwave.

      “I’m going to check on Maddie. Help yourself when it’s ready, just make sure it’s not too hot before Chad digs in,” Ben said.

      The bathroom door was ajar, and the light was off in it. He knocked on Maddie’s door. No answer.

      “Hey, Mads. There’s pizza if you want. I’m coming in, okay?” He tried giving her privacy, since she was a girl, but sometimes it was tough not knowing whether to let himself in or not. He opened the door slowly, giving her time to shove the door shut if she was dressing. “Mads?”

      She was already in bed with her eyes closed. Her bedside lamp was on, but he knew she didn’t like the room totally dark. He touched her forehead. It felt okay. He walked over to her closet, turned the light on, then left its door open. He clicked the lamp off so the light wouldn’t be on her face all night. Homework done or not, he was going to let her stay home tomorrow.

       CHAPTER FOUR

      Dear Diary,

      I wish I didn’t ever have to go to school again. Sara keeps talking about her new puppy. Daddy said no to the one Mommy got. It was supposed to be a present for him staying home. I think he wants to go away.

      HOPE COULD NOW add jet lag to her list of worldly experiences. She needed caffeine. The last time she’d made her own coffee, she’d used a French press, not a drip machine like Ben had, but she knew how to follow instructions. She set up the filter and coffee grounds she’d found in the cabinet overhead, then turned on the coffeemaker. To her relief, it gurgled and started to fill. Thank goodness Ben didn’t mind ordering take-out food. Actual cooking was beyond her abilities.

      She padded quietly to where one of her suitcases still sat against the wall by the entry. Ben had carried the one that had her clothes and necessities in it to Chad’s room last night. This one would get emptied today. It was mostly filled with gifts Anna and Jack had asked her to take to the kids for them. What weighed it down were the medical texts her father told her she should take along, so that her brain didn’t atrophy.

      She got down on her knees, unlocked the suitcase and leaned the upper half back against the wall. Cooing came from a white baby monitor set on the end table next to the couch. Did Ben have another unit in his room? Or did he forget this one here last night?

      A blur of orange caught her eye as something—or someone—scurried from the hall and disappeared into the kitchen. Two big eyes spied on her from behind the counter. Hope pretended not to notice and instead began taking gift-wrapped items out and carefully setting them down on the carpet next to her.

      “Hmm. I think this present is for the baby, and this one, I was told, had to make it into the hands of the older boy.” She rummaged as if she’d lost something. “Did I forget the present Jack and Anna said was for their niece?”

      A little girl Hope knew had to be Maddie inched closer. The pumpkin-dotted hem of her orange nightgown skimmed the floor, and she hugged a stuffed monkey to her chest. Tangled hair framed her delicate face.

      “I see I’m not the only one up early,” Hope said. “Good morning. I’m Hope, one of your uncle Jack and auntie Anna’s friends. You must be Maddie.”

      The girl gave an almost imperceptible nod.

      “I had better find the present they sent you, then. They’d never forgive me.” Hope pulled out the package she knew was Maddie’s and held it out. Maddie got down on the carpet, set her monkey aside and began to unwrap. Her eyes lit up at the wooden keepsake box carved with elephants.

      “You like it?” Hope asked. Maddie gave her a silent yes.

      The cooing from the monitor turned into a staccato cry. Hope was going to assume that Ben forgot the monitor. They hadn’t really gone over how things would work. How much she’d help versus getting out on her own to enjoy her time here.