in a loveless marriage pushed her into a blacker realm of fear.
She knew all too well what that did to a kid, to the adult that kid became. No. Rachel couldn’t—wouldn’t—make the same mistakes her parents had. Incessant arguing behind closed doors, portraying the happy, perfect couple—family—at public events, using their child to wage war against the other.
Pretending. Faking it. Smiling when you wanted to cry, scream, stomp your feet, or...yeah, run away. As far and as fast as your legs could carry you.
Even so, as crazy as it sounded, Rachel yearned for love and everything that came with finding the right man. She wanted a family, dammit. She wanted grocery shopping and carpools, fat babies who would become mouthy teenagers, school bake sales and PTA meetings, picnics and backyard barbecues, and she wanted all of that with a man who loved her senseless.
Almost without thought, her eyes landed on Cole, and her heart sort of liquefied and slid to her knees. She’d screwed up there, she knew. And that screw-up had possibly caused her to lose out on something amazing. Maybe even something life-altering.
They were okay now, mostly, she thought. But her regret lived on. And that was why, despite her misgivings, she refused to run away from Andrew. The fear curdling in her belly, keeping her awake at night whenever she considered a future with Andrew, was the same exact fear that had propelled her to run away from her sole regret.
From Cole.
Rachel pushed out a ragged sigh. Her friendship with Cole made more sense than a lost opportunity, and was certainly far more important than a relationship that had never existed. Their friendship was real. Solid. Lasting. That brief flame so long ago? Meaningless.
Of course being here would stir up old memories. One year ago, she’d had all these possibilities in her head when Cole had asked her to visit for the holidays. But he’d made it clear—crystal, even—that it was their friendship he valued, had missed. Not the other.
And then Andrew had walked into her life and dazzled her with his charm and sweetness. With the traits that reminded her of Cole, and those that didn’t. He desired her. He talked about making a life together. That was real. That was solid. Was it lasting? Maybe.
That was what this trip was really about. She felt sure she could find a way to be head over heels with Andrew by Christmas, here in her favorite city, with an up-close and personal reminder of what she’d lost due to fear.
All she had to do was relax and stop thinking—analyzing—so much, open her heart and let herself take the tumble. How hard could it be?
Feeling somewhat calmer, Rachel tried to catch the men’s attention by gesturing toward the restrooms. Cole noticed, smiled and nodded, and returned to talking with Andrew. She waited for Andrew to glance her way, but he didn’t.
He was too focused on Cole, on whatever Cole was saying. Maybe, without her presence, they’d found some common ground. She hoped so. Otherwise, the next few weeks were going to be even tougher than she’d expected. And that... Well, that wouldn’t help her cause at all.
Chapter Two
Rachel took her time freshening up, needing a few minutes of privacy to settle her churning emotions. When she returned to the table, the men were waiting silently with rigid shoulders and hard, stony jaws. Okay, so that was a no to them finding some common ground.
She slid into place next to Andrew and wrapped her hand around the whipped-cream, syrup-drizzled cappuccino sitting in front of her. Unsure of how to proceed, she sipped her coffee slowly, her mind thinking of and rejecting possible topics of conversation.
“This is so good,” she said, infusing brightness into her tone. “What did you two get?”
“Black coffee,” they both said at the same time, in identical flat inflections.
Aha! Common ground. Going with it, Rachel said, “Well, they have great coffee here.”
“They do.” Cole’s lips twitched into an almost grin. “Want me to get you some?”
“But I—”
“Because what you’re drinking,” Andrew said matter-of-factly, “isn’t coffee.”
Cole’s grin widened a hair. “Nope. What you have there, Rachel, is dessert.”
“Wow, like minds and all that.” Rachel took another hefty swallow of her “dessert,” and said, “Is this one of those ‘real men don’t eat quiche’ sort of things? Or in this case, real men don’t drink fancy coffees?”
“Nah. I like quiche.” Cole picked up a napkin, leaned across the table and wiped the corner of Rachel’s mouth. The touch was quick and effortless, but a flood of warmth overtook her just the same. “A little whipped cream was...er...anyway, it’s gone now.”
She felt more than saw Andrew stiffen beside her. In another second, his arm was cradled over her shoulders. He tipped her chin toward him and kissed her. Also quick. Also effortless.
“There. Now it’s all gone.” Andrew settled into his prior position, keeping his arm snug around her. “I hope that didn’t make you uncomfortable, Kyle. She’s just so kissable, I couldn’t help myself.”
“Not at all,” Cole said with a good ole boy grin and a laidback shrug. “Nothing there to feel embarrassed about. Why, I’ve given my mother the same type of affectionate peck in public on more than one occasion.” He winked at Rachel. “My sister, too, now that I think about it.”
“Didn’t say I was embarrassed.” Andrew shifted an inch closer to Rachel. “Some people dislike public displays of affection. I belatedly thought you might be one of them.”
“Nope.” Again with the shrug. “But I appreciate your concern.”
“Wow, is it cold outside!” Rachel blurted before Andrew could respond. She faked a shiver. “So...cold. I still haven’t warmed up from the...um...short walk here from the car.”
“We could be in Hawaii right now, sipping mai tais by the ocean.” Andrew kissed Rachel again, this time on the top of her head. “If you’re having second thoughts, we could be on a plane tomorrow. All you have to do is say the word.”
Cole’s eyes narrowed in annoyance. Rachel understood why. She and Cole had made plans before Andrew had asked to join her...which he hadn’t done until after Rachel had refused to cancel this visit to go with him to Hawaii.
She guessed Andrew saw that as choosing Cole over him, but that wasn’t the case. Not really. Mostly, it was about going home for the holidays. Because in many ways, Steamboat Springs was the closest she’d ever had to a real home.
Due to Cole and his family, though, not hers.
“I’m not having second thoughts, but I like the idea of going to Hawaii for your birthday in May. If you still want to.”
“Of course I do.” Andrew’s voice was smooth. “I simply wanted to give you the option, now that you’ve seen your friend.”
“Thank you, but I’m good. And we’ll have fun here!” She patted Andrew’s arm. “You’ll soon see why I love Steamboat Springs so much, especially at Christmas.”
“You’ve never been here before, Andy?” Cole relaxed in his seat, looking for all the world as a man completely at ease. “Odd, but I swore I recognized you when you walked in. A lot of people come through here every year...thought maybe you’d vacationed with an ex-girlfriend. Or, perhaps, an ex-wife?”
Good grief. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. “Andrew doesn’t have any ex-wives.”
“And I never will. I don’t believe in divorce.”
“Who does? I doubt anyone marries believing they’ll divorce,” Cole said in a conversational, let’s-get-to-know-each-other manner. “But divorce happens. Sometimes, folks