to know that, which made him realize just how wrong his feelings were. But it would take time to get over those feelings.
Do unto others…
The verse he’d learned as a child floated into his mind, striking him with guilt. What was he teaching his daughter by harboring this anger? And what would she think if he didn’t at least try to work through his pain and forgive his sister-in-law? It was true Mickie might not understand everything that had happened, but she would understand her aunt Sarah not coming around again.
Justin finally said, albeit reluctantly, “Actually, Sarah, if you’re available for the rest of the evening, I wouldn’t mind. Mickie seems quite taken by her aunt. And it’d give you a little more time to visit.”
Sarah swallowed her automatic no. She knew Justin didn’t really want her there. But could she have ever, in her wildest dreams, envisioned spending an evening with her niece? She hadn’t seen Mickie since her sister’s funeral. Mickie had not been at the hearing before the judge. Sarah hadn’t been dismayed over that. She had believed she’d have Mickie soon enough.
How absolutely arrogant she had been, and how angry when the court had ruled in her brother-in-law’s favor. Now she was getting a second chance to know Mickie, to get reacquainted with her. The door had just been opened; the opportunity she had been praying for had dropped into her lap. “I don’t have to be anywhere. I’d be glad to watch her.”
An awkward silence fell as the two adults stared at each other; it was broken finally when Mickie squealed in glee and clapped her hands.
“Will you fix me dinner? I like fried chicken, but Daddy doesn’t make it. I also like peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. And then you can help me into my ‘jamas and we can read stories till Dad gets home. Is that okay, Daddy? Can we read stories until you get home?”
Sarah saw Justin’s features soften and was amazed at how much younger he looked when he smiled so gently like that. “That sounds fine.”
When his gaze returned to Sarah, the cool mask fell back in place.
“There’s a list of emergency numbers by the phone. Fix whatever you two decide you want for dinner…except peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches.” He cast a warning look at his daughter, who bowed her head and appeared properly contrite at the idea of allowing any peanut butter or jelly to pass her lips again in the near future. “I should be home sometime this evening. The office is about forty-five minutes away and the people I’m meeting have to leave tonight.”
He looked at his watch. Four o’clock. He would be late at this rate. Thank goodness he had arranged to meet them at a hotel closer to his home. It had been Phillip’s idea to pick them up in the limo and for them all to go to the office together for the tour and business meeting. “Any questions?”
Sarah shook her head. Still he seemed unsure. “Look, Justin,” she said, “if you want, I’ll call you every hour on the hour. You don’t need to worry that we’ll be gone when you return.” She didn’t tell him that she no longer had a car and had caught the bus over. Call it pride, but she just couldn’t admit that.
His face didn’t show if that was what he was thinking or not. He finally sighed and gave a curt nod. “I’m trusting you on this. My secretary’s number is on the list. Phone if you need anything.”
He kissed his daughter goodbye and headed out the door.
Sarah couldn’t believe it. She was actually alone with her niece. Why had Justin allowed it?
Was it that it had been so long and he’d relegated the past to the past? She wondered if he meant to pay her. There was no way she would ask. She wasn’t even sure she could take his money. She was desperate, but was she that desperate?
True, that was why she’d originally come. But she hadn’t expected to feel guilty and uncomfortable around Justin. Had she thought to be that same old arrogant woman who would look at him as though he owed her for his past sins?
Closing her mind to those questions, she turned her attention to Mickie, who was tugging on her shirt.
“Can we cook now? I like to help in the kitchen, but Mrs. Winters never lets me. She says I make a mess, especially when we have chicken. You know, we wouldn’t have to have peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. Sometimes Daddy lets me eat them on crackers, too.”
Sarah smiled. She hadn’t eaten since last night. She’d missed breakfast this morning because she had wanted to find somewhere to shower before coming over to Justin’s. The only other meal she’d have a chance at was dinner at six o’clock in the evening.
Oh, no! She suddenly focused on one small fact she’d conveniently forgotten; she had to be back by eight o’clock. Would Justin be home before then? She worried her bottom lip, then sighed. Well, there was no choice now. She’d just have to hope it worked out.
“I think peanut butter and jelly on anything is out—if that look your father gave you was any indication,” she said, forcing her worries from her mind. She’d have plenty of time later to worry. Right now she wanted to soak up Mickie’s presence. “Come on, let’s go thaw out something and you can help me make a mess in the kitchen.”
“You make a mess?”
Mickie’s eyes widened in childish horror. Sarah smiled. “It’s more fun that way.” She winked.
Going toward the kitchen with Mickie, Sarah realized that things might actually be changing in her life. Maybe the past could be just that—the past Maybe she could forget it; let go of the ghosts that haunted her, the mistakes she had made. Perhaps she could turn over a new leaf and start back on the right path. It’d been so long…she wasn’t sure if she could even find her way back on her own. How did she get rid of years of bitterness and pain and find peace again with the very person she had wronged?
She remembered then—something her mother had told her when she’d had a fight with her dear friend and they had stopped talking for two weeks. She’d been frantic that she would never see her friend again and didn’t know if Sylvia would accept her apology or not. She’d prayed but wasn’t sure God had answered her prayer on how she should ask forgiveness for yelling at Sylvia.
“When you turn and walk down our street it takes five minutes to reach the end, dear. How long does it take to return?”
She had answered, “Five minutes.”
“And how do you get back? Do you cover that distance in five seconds or fifty seconds? Do you turn and take different streets to get you back to our house?”
“No, Mama,” she’d replied.
“That’s right, dear. You simply turn around and start from the way you came, taking one step at a time. Sometimes you can make it a little faster, sometimes not. But the important thing is you make that decision and turn around and go back.”
Her mother had been right. By confronting the issue with Sylvia, Sarah had righted things, although the lost trust between them had taken a little longer to return.
Now she knew that no matter how long it took, she wanted things right again between her and her only living relative. So maybe, if she prayed—since the first step to anything was prayer, or at least that was what she’d been taught in her family—this time things would be different between her and her brother-in-law. They could get along well enough that she would again have a family.
If she hadn’t turned her back and run from God when everything had happened almost seven years ago, then this mess wouldn’t have happened.
She told herself to remember that this time and everything would work out. Put God first, not her own selfish feelings, and trust God to work the miracle.
Looking down at Mickie, she knew that no matter what happened, she had to do that. She didn’t want to lose what she only now was discovering filled a void that had long been in need of filling.