“You’re not going to play the fear card. You know I have no fear where you’re concerned. But I decide who I want to eat with and that has nothing to do with you laying down a challenge.”
“So the answer is...”
Renee weighed the invitation for a long time. She saw Dana in the doorway gesturing for her to accept. Dana could only hear one side of the conversation, but she could tell Carter had asked to see Renee. Renee knew it was best to stay away from him, but if she was going to live in New York and inevitably run into him, she would have to become comfortable in his presence.
“Fine,” she said. “Dinner tomorrow.”
“You’re not going to stand me up, are you?”
“I keep my word,” she said.
“Where are you staying?” he asked.
Renee was not about to give him the address. She knew he often showed up early for a date, and then they wouldn’t make it out.
“You discovered I’m renting a house, yet you don’t know where I’m staying.” She paused, then said, “I’ll meet you at the Rainbow Room at seven.”
She heard his sigh through the phone. “Rainbow Room it is.”
“Tomorrow, then.”
“Good night, Renee.”
She clicked the end button without saying anything. The tone of his voice with those three words had taken away her power of speech. Did he know he was doing that? Was it on purpose, designed to throw her off guard? She’d heard those words in the dark, after a fervent night of lovemaking. They’d wrapped around her, folded her in a blanket of warmth, the way his arms had. She’d voluntarily gone there, taken his hand and run with him into an unknown place that held the promise of forever.
Renee had never wanted to leave it. She’d wanted to see the next bend, open the next door and find what surprises awaited her. She’d wanted to jump from cloud to cloud and go with the man of her dreams.
In his arms, she had been blinded. She’d forgotten that dreams have the permanence of smoke. And it had blown up in her face. The relationship had hardly begun before the burning between them had been doused, leaving only smoke and cinders. It had taken her a while to get herself under control, to not open her eyes in the morning and find herself thinking of him. But she was at that point now. And there was no way she was allowing him back into her heart.
Renee took a deep breath and stepped off the elevator on the 65th floor of Rockefeller Center. She wore a formfitting red dress with shoes that sparkled. It had taken her a while to decide what to wear. This wasn’t a date, she kept telling herself. But who goes to the Rainbow Room just to eat? Then she decided to throw caution to the wind and dress as well as she could. She’d show Carter what he was missing and then not let him touch it.
Carter was standing by the door when she arrived. He smiled, looking her over.
“I should have worn sunglasses,” he said, his smile wide. “You’re dazzling.”
Renee couldn’t help returning it. “Thank you.”
He didn’t wink at her, but the slight change in his eyes told her he approved. The thought warmed her in places she wished it didn’t. He reached to give her a hug, and Renee steeled herself. She stopped him before he could pull her into his arms.
“Still strangers?” he asked.
“Good evening, Carter.” Renee ignored his question. He was dressed in a black suit with a gleaming white shirt and shoes that had a mirror shine. The man could be a GQ model instead of a publishing magnate.
“Your table is ready,” the maître d’ said.
Renee followed the black-coated man to a table for two next to the large windows that looked out on the city. The night was clear, giving them a panoramic view of the Empire State Building and Washington Square Park.
For a while, Renee buried her face in her menu. She knew what she wanted, but spent time looking over the selections as if she were deciding. She was avoiding looking at Carter, and now that they were here, she wondered what they had to talk about. It couldn’t be their past.
“Are you hiding?” Carter asked.
She closed the menu and laid it on the side of the table. “I was checking over the new entrées. It’s been a while since I was here.”
For a moment he only stared at her. Renee stifled a smile. She’d accomplished her goal. Carter gazed at her with appreciation, and she could see a glimmer of attraction in his eyes.
A waiter brought them a bottle of champagne and went through the ritual of opening and pouring the wine into flutes. Taking their order, he quietly disappeared. Carter raised his glass and Renee clinked hers with it, the bell sound of the crystal rang clear.
“Congratulations,” he said.
“On what?” Renee asked.
“Your move.”
“I haven’t moved yet.”
“Tell me about the new house. Where is it?”
“It’s up in the museum district.” She avoided giving him a specific address. It wasn’t like he’d show up on her doorstep, but if she was going to keep her heart intact, she wanted him to know as little about her as possible.
“Will you be launching your magazine from there?”
Their food arrived, and she took a moment to take a bite and swallow before answering. “Now that I’ve secured living space, I’m looking for offices for the magazine.”
“So you’ll be back for a site search.”
Renee felt the color creep under her skin. She’d walked into that. “I will.”
“When?”
“I have no current plans.”
“Will you let me know when you return?” he asked straight out.
“No,” she said without hesitation.
“Why not?”
“I’m not here to see you. When I come, my time will be limited. As you’ve said, launching a new magazine takes a lot of work.”
“So you’re not dating.” He stated it as a fact.
The switch in subject gave her whiplash. “My love life is not your concern,” she told him. “And yours is no concern of mine, but why is it you’re here with me instead of being out with some other woman? As I remember, you never had a problem getting dates. I don’t imagine that has changed.”
“I’m between women at the moment.”
Renee took a bite of her food, but she regretted it the moment she put it in her mouth. She was sure she couldn’t swallow it. Yet the fact that he was unattached caused a small flutter in her stomach.
“What about you? Married? Divorced? Is there someone back in New Jersey waiting for you?” Carter asked.
“Not married, not divorced. If you’re asking if I’m dating, yes,” she lied.
There was no one special back in Princeton. There were men she knew, and if she needed a date, she’d have no trouble getting one. But there was no one she’d run to with good or bad news.
“Anyone special?” Carter persisted.
“You’re getting really personal,” Renee said.
He sat back as if he was backing off. “I apologize. It’s just been a long time since we’ve seen each other. I was only trying to catch up.”
“I see.” Renee said