Silence filled the room, as Jessica stared at the half-torn envelope, her thumb still.
“I’ve always found that the bank assessors take all factors into consideration,” Natalie said calmly.
Jessica glanced up at her. She gave the lawyer credit for poise.
Natalie looked her square in the eye. “I won’t pretend this isn’t unorthodox. Believe me, I consulted with other specialists in estate law before agreeing to go forward with it. His will may be irregular, but it is legal.”
Sebastien put a hand on Jessica’s. But the strange thing was, instead of comforting her, it made her seize up inside. Warning bells were going off all over.
“What if the rink isn’t profitable?” Sebastien asked. “What then?”
“Then it’s sold to the highest bidder and Jessica gets half.”
“So...Jessica has to participate for six months to get the deal,” Sebastien said. “What exactly does participate mean?”
Jessica felt like throwing up. She’d made a conscious decision never to participate in anything related to that world again. The loss of control she’d suffered—the manipulation—had nearly destroyed her. She’d had to lie to get out of it, and that lie was the reason Joe blamed Kyle for her injury, which then led to Kyle leaving Wallis Point.
And the fact that Sebastien was even asking this stuff when he knew how upset she was... She clenched her hand into a fist and put it in her lap.
Natalie was answering him. “It means...” The lawyer glanced at her as she spoke. “It means that Jessica needs to put in a good faith effort, specified as attendance at the rink at least thirty hours per week.”
“I can’t do that,” she blurted. “I have a job, commitments.” I have dreams. She gritted her teeth and stared at Sebastien.
After their talk on Saturday morning, they’d had a great weekend at his place. They’d walked on the beach, watched movies in bed, cooked. She’d never felt happier with him.
But now...after what she’d told him about her mom and her, he could just do this? Sentence her back to those days?
Sebastien turned to Natalie. “Thirty hours per week is a lot. Will she be compensated for those hours?”
It was as if she was watching from outside her body. A feeling of betrayal came over her. Her heart felt as if it had stopped in her chest. She was sure her mouth had dropped open.
Natalie smiled sadly at Jessica, and Jessica felt her face heating. Natalie saw her embarrassment, but Sebastien apparently didn’t.
“The agreement doesn’t specify a payment,” Natalie said gently. “I’m sorry.” She stood. “I’ll leave a copy of the will here on the table. Perhaps you’d like to read it, along with Joe’s letter, and I’ll be back in twenty minutes to discuss it further.”
“Yeah,” Sebastien said, glancing at Jessica for the first time, and giving her a “buck up” smile. “I need to talk with Jess.”
Natalie set the document on the table, then shut the door on her way out.
Jessica’s hands were still clenched in fists in her lap. She stared down at Joe’s letter. Halfway opened. The jagged rip she’d made but couldn’t finish.
“Jess,” Sebastien said softly.
“Jessica,” she said woodenly. “I’m Jessica.”
“Jessica, I know you don’t want to do this. Honestly...do you think I like being on the road all the time? I don’t. But, Jess, I do it. I do it because it pays well.”
She swallowed. Gazed at her thumb, the cuticles ragged. “I know about not having money.” She’d supported herself, all that time. All those years, alone, away from her mother. “I did it...” To save my soul. “...because I was being destroyed, and destroying other people in turn. It needed to stop. I needed to keep myself safe.”
I’m not a machine, she added silently.
He took her hand, smoothing over the jagged cuticle with his thumb. “I care about you, Jessica... I really do want to marry you,” he said quietly. “But I don’t...I never wanted to get married without being in the right financial place to support a family. I’ve been saving, but it’s not happening the way I’d hoped. I won’t lie, it’s tough out there. The economy is lousy, and this inheritance of yours is easy money. If you did this, if you sacrificed for us the way I’ve been sacrificing for us, then we’ll be able to get married. Don’t you see?”
She stared at him. “You want to marry me? Still?”
“Of course. Isn’t that what we talked about?”
Not exactly. She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that her heart was pounding and her throat felt dry. She fumbled for the bottle of water on the table.
“All I’m saying, Jess, is that we can use the money from the sale of the rink to go through with it. We could afford to buy a home in Wallis Point, a real nice place together. We could afford to have kids.”
Her head was reeling. This was exactly what she wanted, too.
“Well, Jess? Jessica,” he corrected himself. “What do you think?”
Just then there was a knock and the door opened. Natalie again. She sat down and smiled at Jessica. “I’ve spoken with Kyle. He’d like to go ahead, if you would.”
“I...” Jessica was acutely aware of Sebastien, staring at her. He’d offered to give her all her dreams.
“Why don’t you let me know what your reservations are,” Natalie said to Jessica. “I’ll talk to Kyle and see if we can smooth anything out.”
“She’s worried about losing income,” Sebastien said to Natalie. “If she works thirty hours a week at the rink, then she won’t be able to work at her real job much more than a few hours a week.”
“Is that correct?” Natalie asked Jessica, politely. “Is the loss of income your only reservation?”
Jessica gazed over at Sebastien. She really, really wanted to marry him and have a family of her own. Children she could love and give a happy childhood to, the kind she hadn’t experienced. She could take care of them, nest in her own home with them. She wouldn’t have to move back and forth from her beach rental to her summer studio rental at the change of seasons. She’d have a home that was hers.
Then everything would be fine.
She wanted that life more than anything.
Hesitantly, she nodded to Natalie. “It’s true, I can’t afford to work for free or to lose my physical therapy job.”
“You’re not worried about Kyle working with you?” Natalie asked.
Jessica shook her head. It was sort of a lie. But more than the guilt of having to face Kyle again, and more than the worry that she’d been a source of estrangement between him and Joe, she didn’t want to have to explain that history to Sebastien.
Sebastien was her safe place—her hope for the future. She didn’t want to ruin that any more than she already had.
Natalie stood. “Very well. Let me talk with Kyle and see what can be done.”
* * *
KYLE PACED THE ROOM. He couldn’t sit still. He had no idea what was going on with Jessica, but he could guess.
The door opened, and a little girl toddled inside. She had sturdy legs and plump fists. She tilted her head up at Kyle, clearly unafraid of him. Her blond curls bobbed as she spoke. “Hi! Who are you?”
“Kyle,” he answered.
“Hi, Kyle.”
“Oops, sorry about that!”