Jane Linfoot

The Little Wedding Shop by the Sea


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So for the first time in years I didn’t hold back when he pissed me off, I said exactly what I thought.’

      ‘Bloody hell.’ Immie sounds impressed.

      Cate waves her glass in the air. ‘Yay Poppy!’

      I slosh out more wine all round. At this rate it’ll be taxis home.

      ‘And although we’re having all-out war, for the first time in years I feel like I’m being true to myself.’ I slug back my own wine so fast, the bubbles sting my nose. ‘And you know what, I like saying what I think.’ I glance at my watch. ‘Sorry to rush you, but we’d better head down to the shop. Jess will be waiting. Take your glasses, I’ll grab another bottle or two to take down with us.’

      ‘It’s nice to have our feisty Poppy back.’ Cate grabs a last cupcake as she heads off down the white painted stairs. ‘I’m going to need all the strength I can get if you’re both saying it like it is. Have you got any hard hats in those bags of yours, because I have a feeling we might need them? Bridesmaid wars here we come.’

       10

      The Bridesmaids’ Beach Hut, at Brides by the Sea: Counting on fingers

      The Bridesmaids’ Beach Hut is the upstairs shop area dedicated to bridesmaids, but you probably guessed that already. Jess recently gave it a beachy make-over, hence the name, and as we troop in across the artfully scuffed floorboards she’s straightening the pink striped fitting room curtains.

      ‘Wow.’ Cate’s eyes light up when she sees the love seat decked with fairy lights. But when she spots the long rail of dresses beyond, her beam stretches the width of the bay.

      ‘Cate, Immie, come on in,’ Jess purrs. ‘You both know Sera don’t you?’

      Sera, her back jammed against the rough planks of the fitting room wall as she sketches, leans into view and gives a wave. ‘I’m working on some designs for bridesmaids dresses now, so I hope it’s okay if I give you guys a hand? Get a feel for what bridesmaids want?’

      ‘Of course,’ Cate flashes a momentary smile at Sera, then looks straight back to the dresses she’s hovering next to. As she skims past the bright colours and comes to a halt next to the pastel, extra-floaty dresses, Immie groans and makes a silent throat cutting sign behind Cate’s back.

      Ignoring Immie, I grab some glasses from the tray on the pale pink dressing table, and pour Sera and Jess some wine. In my hurry to get this started, I’ve come down in my Uggs and jeans rather than the black pumps, black trousers and black top that Jess likes us assistants to wear when we’re helping out in the shop. But given we’re all friends, I doubt she’ll mind this once. When I was at my worst after the break up, slurping about in my pyjamas all day, Jess thoughtfully provided me with a black pair, so I could wander round the shop without the customers realising I wasn’t really dressed.

      ‘So, make yourselves comfy.’ Jess waves Cate and Immie to a couple of Louis XIV chairs with ice blue linen cushions and white rope tassels. ‘I’ll let Poppy show you the different dresses, and then you can decide which you’d like to try.’

      ‘Great.’ I tentatively flick through the dresses, wondering where to begin. ‘So, we’ve got a selection of styles here, but all the dresses can be ordered in lots of different colour ways.’ I’m trying to keep to the simple styles, given Cate’s buying for eight here. As my hand comes to rest on a short plain silk one, Immie gives it the thumbs up by waving her wine so hard it sloshes onto her jeans.

      ‘Definitely not.’ Cate mops Immie with a tissue, and vetoes the dress with one determined head shake. ‘In fact I can see the one I want from here.’ She gets up and reaches towards the floaty chiffon.

      ‘These are at the expensive end,’ I say, turning to Jess for back up.

      ‘We sell a lot more of these,’ Jess says diplomatically, whisking out an almost identical, much cheaper dress. ‘How about this one?’

      ‘No way.’ Immie gasps under her breath, and slumps down in her seat.

      ‘The first one’s definitely the one I want.’ Cate sounds decided.

      ‘Are you sure?’ I ask. We bridesmaids had mentioned paying for our own dresses, but we couldn’t afford these. She’s picked the most expensive bridesmaid dress in the shop. ‘Those are £595 each.’ That’s after the friends and family discount I’ve negotiated, too. ‘Times eight,’ I say, desperately trying to do the maths.

      Jess holds up yet another dress, offering her an out. ‘Here, this one’s similar, but half the price. Not that I’m supposed to say it, but other dresses are just as well made for a lot less than the make you’ve picked out.’

      ‘Nooo, I’ll look like a pregnant fairy in all of these,’ wails Immie.

      ‘We’ll try the first one,’ Cate insists. ‘I’m only doing this once, I’m damn well doing it with bridesmaids looking how I want them.’ She reaches out, and smiles as she runs her hand over the fabric. ‘Dreamy isn’t it? I haven’t finally decided if I want them in cream or nude. It’ll depend which wedding dress I finally go for.’

      Which reminds me, we haven’t even started on Cate’s dress, but that’s a whole other story. I pretend not to notice that Immie’s miming being sick over the arm of her chair.

      Jess turns to Sera, who’s blinking at what she’s witnessing, and whispers, ‘Brides with firm ideas are a dream to work with, Sera. When you try to please all the bridesmaids everyone ends up compromising. It’s fabulous when a bride decides to please herself.’

      Cate sends Immie a firm frown, then turns back to me. ‘This dress was in the wedding magazine I bought the morning Liam proposed.’ She folds her arms decidedly. ‘I’ve known all along those are the ones I’m having.’

      What’s she talking about? She got engaged months ago. ‘So why are we even looking at others?’ I ask. What’s worse, I’m going through my own agonies here. My blotchy orange hair is going to look so cheap and trashy beside this upmarket dress.

      Cate gives another grin. ‘It was to show Liam that we’d explored every option before we settled on this one.’

      Immie’s aghast. ‘Times eight, and I’ve run out of fingers. I hope you’ve got something spectacular up your sleeve for when Liam finally does his calculations and finds out how much this is costing, Cate.’ Immie’s given up on her glass and she’s drowning her bridesmaid sorrows straight from the bottle.

      ‘I’m the accountant in the family. If Liam ever does the sums, he’s in for the dirtiest night of his life.’ Cate laughs. ‘Although this is nothing compared to the other thing I splurged on this week.’

      Immie and I both squint at her. When did careful Cate turn into a cash splasher?

      ‘The marquee company got in touch with a special offer on the most gorgeous open sided tents. I couldn’t resist so I ordered two.’

      ‘What, instead of the main marquee?’ I’m not sure ‘open’ is a good idea, as for two …

      From Cate’s airy waft of her hand, she might have been talking about tenner-a-go pop up tents, not three grand a time event venues. ‘No, I’ve ordered these as well, I thought they’d make a nice extra.’

      I’m still picking my jaw up off the floor, but Immie’s covered it. ‘Liam’s going to be up to his boxers in filthy sex when this shit hits the fan.’ Eloquent as ever, she takes another swig.

      Jess looks at her watch. ‘Time to try on then?’

      She’s got a bride coming in for a final fitting at six, so she’ll have to go downstairs for that. Given Immie’s stroppy scowl from behind the prosecco bottle it may be no bad thing.

      ‘You