you remember that, do you?”
“So why are you such a risk taker as far as animals?”
“Crops, too,” he admitted. He’d been watching the animals, but now he turned to study Rachel. “I’ll answer your question, but first tell me why you want to know.”
“Curious, I guess. Sort of like your alpacas.”
The horses were grazing in the adjacent pasture. The gelding had wandered close to the fence separating it from the alpacas. The horse was focused on the winter grass, but one of the tan alpacas had zeroed in on the horse. It stuck its nose through the fence, then jumped back, jumped almost vertically. Which caused the other alpacas to trot over, and then they were all gawking at the horse and making a high-pitched noise that sounded like a cat with its tail caught in a door.
“So you’re not asking merely to give me grief?”
“Not at all.” With her fingers, she crossed her heart. “Promise.”
He leaned against the fence, studying the animals but thinking of the woman standing beside him. Rachel was a jumbled mix of paradoxes. One moment she seemed vulnerable, the next fiercely independent, and then sometimes she was quietly curious.
Glancing at her, he realized—not for the first time—what a beautiful woman she was. Probably back in her own community she had a boyfriend who was wondering what had happened to her. The thought made him uncomfortable, as if they should be doing more to return her to her home. But what could they do?
Nothing, so far as he knew, so instead he settled for being honest and answering her question.
“I like the Plain life. I’ve seen my fair share of folks leave our faith—about half of them came back, tails tucked between their legs. The other half? They either never visit their family at all—”
“Is it allowed?”
“Oh, ya. Our bishop encourages families to support one another, even when a member chooses a different path.”
Rachel nodded, as if that made sense.
“These people I’m thinking of, they have a standing invitation to come home and see their loved ones.”
“But they don’t?”
“Most don’t. The ones that do, they seem put out that they have to leave their cell phone in the car.”
“Are you speaking from personal experience?”
“You’re asking if anyone in my family has gone over to the Englisch side?” Caleb ran his hand along the top rail of the metal fence—it was smooth and cold to the touch. “Two cousins, on my mother’s side.”
“So that makes you conservative...as far as people are concerned.”
“I think being Plain means we stand for something. We stand for a different lifestyle. Once we start making compromises, there’s no difference between us and the Englisch—in that case, who wouldn’t leave?”
Rachel was shaking her head, her bonnet strings swaying back and forth, but she smiled and said, “All right. I’ve never heard it expressed that way before, but—”
“You might have. Maybe you don’t remember.”
“Good point. So you’re conservative because you think it’s good for families and believers.”
“Right.”
“But the farming? And animals?”
“In business you want to be conservative—for sure and certain you do.”
“But?”
“It’s exciting to try something new. Ya? Look at those animals. They seem like giant poodles to me. Who figured out that their wool would be a good crop?”
“Caleb, you surprise me.”
“Ya?” He reached forward and brushed some grass off her coat sleeve, no doubt left by one of his alpacas that had been nosing closer for apple peels. “Is that gut or bad?”
“Both. The alpacas will be entertaining.”
They’d returned to flopping down in the dirt.
“Your herd looks like they will produce a variety of coffee colors.”
“Coffee, huh?”
“Something Englischers love—lots of browns and tans and mochas and cappuccinos. Maybe even a cinnamon hue on that far one.”
“Cappuccino?” He could feel the frown forming on his lips. No doubt she loved visiting a coffee shop and wasting her money.
“Plus their fiber is hypoallergenic, which is what makes it very popular.”
“Funny that you know that.”
She simply shrugged.
“I know nothing about shearing, but I can learn.”
“Do you have a local library?”
“Sure.”
“You can search how to do that on their computers.”
He felt something freeze inside of him. This happened every time he began to feel comfortable with Rachel. She said or did something that reminded him she didn’t belong here and probably wouldn’t be staying. He stepped away from the fence, so now they were facing each other, though Rachel was a good head shorter than he was.
“We don’t use the computers.”
“Why?” She cocked her head and looked genuinely puzzled.
“Because we choose not to. We’re Plain...” He couldn’t help emphasizing the last word, though he realized it sounded patronizing.
“Uh-huh. Well, I can tell you’re getting aggravated, so I suppose I should go back inside.”
“We just talked about what it means to be Plain, and then you throw out a comment about using computers.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a computer, Caleb.” She stepped closer, right up into his personal space, and stared up at him.
He took a step back.
“Computers aren’t evil.”
“Never said they were, but they’re not Plain.”
“A computer isn’t going to cause anyone to leave the faith.”
“It could. The things you can see on one...well, it’s like bait to our youngies...”
“Of which you are one.”
He laughed at that. “Turned twenty-five last year.”
“Me, too.”
They both froze, the argument suddenly forgotten.
“Another piece of the puzzle of Rachel,” he said softly.
She glanced at him uncertainly, a range of emotions playing across her face, and then she turned and wandered back into the house, pausing now and again to look back at the alpacas.
* * *
Rachel spent the rest of Friday morning helping Ida, but honestly there wasn’t much to do for a family of three—four if she counted herself. Was she a part of Ida’s family? Was this her home now? When would she remember her past?
And beneath those questions were Caleb’s words, mocking her.
Amish women work hard, too. At least most of them do.
Did he think she liked not being able to remember her own last name or where she was from? Did he think she enjoyed being ill?
“The headaches are better, ya?” Ida was crocheting a gray-and-black