flock in on tuna night, don’t you Don?” She turned her attention to the old man sitting alone at the table next to Lily’s.
“Actually,” Lily smiled, hoping her stomach would cease its growling long enough for her to place her order, “can I get your cheeseburger with fries, a strawberry milkshake, an iced tea, a slice of apple pie and lots of ketchup?”
“On your pie?” The waitress asked, snapping her gum again.
“Huh?” Lily looked at her blankly.
“You want the ketchup on your pie?” The waitress asked without blinking an eyelid.
“Eww, no thanks. I want ketchup on my fries. But can I have it in a dish on the side please?”
“Sure thing hun. Would you like some gravy too?” she asked, slipping her order pad into the front pocket of her apron and sticking her pen behind her ear.
“Yes please,” Lily said as her stomach gave another low growl. She could feel the heat rise in her face again and silently cursed her pale skin.
The waitress patted her arm, “It won’t be long, I promise,” she said and wandered away, refilling coffee cups on her way back to the kitchen.
True to her word, the waitress brought over her dinner in less than ten minutes. The cheeseburger was giant and the fries overflowed her plate. Lily grabbed one and bit into the crispy crust to the fluffy center. Oh, they were perfect.
The aroma of the burger was too tempting. Lily had to use both hands to pick it up. She shoved as big of a bite into her mouth as possible. It was busting with flavor and the juices dripped down her chin. She groaned out loud, earning her more stares, but this time she didn’t care. She was too busy stuffing her face with the best burger she had ever tasted.
By the time she finished her apple pie, she could barely move. Lily patted her taut stomach. Good thing her baby was barely more than a few cells at the moment, because if it was any bigger it would be straining to get out from the cramped space. She paid for her meal and waddled across the street to her motel room. She wanted to get going early in the morning and make it to Bassville tomorrow night. When she’d left Toronto yesterday she’d had every intention of taking three days to get home. Not anymore. She didn’t think she could handle more than one day of bitter memories.
Unfortunately for her, Lily had plenty more just waiting to be revisited.
*
It was snowing when she reached the Canadian border. Giant flakes floated leisurely down from the sky as she waited in line to go through the gateway. They settled in mounds on the hood of her truck, making it look as though someone had opened a giant bag of mini-marshmallows and spilled them all over the red paint.
She turned up the heater and held her hands next to the vents. It was starting to get really cold. Even with the heater on high, her feet were freezing and she could see her breath. Lily hoped she could make it home before the storm really set in. She didn’t want to spend another night on the road. But even with clear skies it’d still be hours before she made it to Bassville.
She jerked her head up when there was a tap on her window. She’d been too busy concentrating on warming her hands to notice the rugged-up guard approach. She wound down her window. It creaked with each turn of the handle and reluctantly dropped a few centimeters at a time, as though it didn’t want to let the cold snowy air inside her warm cocoon.
“Hi,” she said to the man waiting outside, “cold out isn’t it?”
“Yes, ma’am, it sure is. You could freeze the devil’s balls off on a day like today.”
Lily snorted, “What?!” she asked, both shocked and delighted at the border guard’s comment.
“Well, it’s just damn cold. You have your passport on you, ma’am?” he asked, stamping his feet and beating his arms against his sides.
“Yes, it’s right here,” Lily dug around in her backpack on the floor. At last she pulled it out. “Sorry,” she said, passing it to him. She should have had it ready and waiting.
He flipped through it quickly, compared the grainy photo to the face peering up at him, then handed the passport back through her window. “Have a nice trip home ma’am,” he said, turning to the next vehicle in line.
The snow was starting to pile up on the road in little drifts but in the distance she could see blue sky beginning to break through the clouds. Lily hoped it wouldn’t be long before the sky cleared. She hated driving in falling snow.
It reminded her of Wade.
And Wade was someone she was still trying to forget.
As it turned out, the snow started to clear in the next hour and by the time Lily reached the Trans-Canada Highway the snow was almost gone. She let out a sigh of relief as she turned onto the main highway. The difficult part of the journey was over. Now all she needed to do was stay awake long enough to make it to Bassville. The Trans-Canada was a good highway to travel on, but it was boring. Now she had nothing to keep her mind from wandering.
Lily stopped for fuel in Moose Jaw. She was about to order a coffee at the counter when she caught a whiff of the roasted beans. Her stomach rolled. She turned quickly away and grabbed a coke from the fridge instead before heading back out to her truck.
She made her way back onto the highway and turned up the music. She fiddled with the radio for a few moments until she found what she liked and turned it up a notch louder.
Wade, her boyfriend from high school, loved to have the radio cranked.
She quickly turned it down. She did not want to think about Wade.
She drove in near silence for the next half an hour, but as though called, Wade kept creeping into her thoughts. She couldn’t shake him out of her mind. Snippets of scenes from years past flashed in quick succession. Her and Wade racing their horses across the hills; throwing snowballs at each other until it ended in kisses hot enough to melt the snow; losing their virginity together; driving to prom. Tears started falling down her checks. That last memory was bittersweet. She knew she was leaving; he didn’t. Wade was all smiles that day, never leaving her side. She could still feel the ghost of his hand on her back as he guided her through the crowd. She missed his touch. She missed him so much it hurt. And yet it was her fault she was missing him. It was Lily that drove away. She always made damn sure when she went home for a holiday that she stayed away from anywhere she might bump into him. Maybe he thought she was a bitch, but the truth was, she didn’t think she could survive if she saw him.
She wiped the tears from her cheeks. There was no use crying now. The past was the past. She needed to remember that to get through the next few days. She was heading into a storm she’d been putting off for eight years. She needed to have all her wits about her, and thinking about Wade would make her too vulnerable. She reached down, cranked up the volume on the radio and pushed from her mind all thoughts of the boy she’d left behind.
*
Three bags of Doritos, four cans of Coke Zero and seven hours later, Lily finally reached the outskirts of Bassville. The red and the orange of the sun colored the hills on the road in front of her. The mountains in the background were purple in the evening light.
Her back was sore and her bum was numb, but she smiled. She was finally here. She turned off the highway, skirted the town and headed down a familiar dusty gravel road. Remnants of snow drifts lay as brown crusty bumps in the ditch. The two boxes next to her bumped around on the seat, slamming into her thigh with every lurch of the truck. She’d have a bruise come morning, but she was almost there and she didn’t care. Less than two country songs later she pulled into a short, tree-lined driveway. A magnificent white homestead cheerfully greeted her as she rounded the last corner. Lights shone from the windows, welcoming her home.
The door opened and