his rumspringa to a whole new level while she’d barely done anything different during her own. Her heart was here in Campton Creek while his heart had longed for adventure and...war.
War. He’d become a warrior, hardened and battle scarred and unyielding. A Navy warrior. SEALs, they called themselves. In desperation, she’d gone to the library and found all kinds of articles that explained things much too clearly to her. He’d gone against the Amish way and joined the military.
What had he done and seen out there?
“I have to go, Ava Jane,” he said that night so long ago, tears in his eyes. “I can’t explain it but...something has happened. Something bad.”
“Was ist letz?” she asked, her heart pumping too fast. “What’s the matter?”
“Edward is dead.”
She knew Edward Campton, ten years older at the time than Jeremiah’s seventeen. He and Jeremiah became good friends when Mr. Weaver and Jeremiah went to the stately Campton mansion centered in the heart of Campton Creek to build some new cabinets in the kitchen. Edward, a Navy SEAL, was home on leave for a couple of months and, for some reason, he’d told Jeremiah things he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.
But then, Jeremiah always had a rough streak. He loved to wrestle and fight, to swim as fast as he could, to be the first to win in any game. And he often talked about things of the world, hunting and fishing, which the Amish did only for food. Jeremiah became fascinated with battles and war games and sailing the open seas, things their kind did not condone.
During his second year of rumspringa, the time all Amish teens and young adults had a chance to run around before they settled down and became baptized, Jeremiah became enamored of Edward. Edward’s Englisch ways and military talk swayed Jeremiah and changed him. Soon, Jeremiah began to spend more and more time with Edward, running and exercising with him, swimming in the big pool behind the Campton mansion, learning all about dangerous weapons and listening to Edward’s stories of valor. Even learning how to scuba dive, of all things.
Edward loaned him history books full of stories of valor, which Jeremiah read late at night after his chores were done. After he came by to see her and tell her he loved her which he often did back then.
Why, she’d never understand. Why, Jeremiah? Why had he felt the need to run away and join the Navy?
She heard talk in town about the Campton family. Their roots stretched back to the American Revolution and the town was named for them. They were rich and had a house full of material things. The minute Jeremiah met Edward, she’d felt him slipping away from her. All his talk about history and battles and honoring the country that protected and sheltered him.
He’d been almost eighteen and able to make his own decisions. Finally, he’d told her he wasn’t sure he wanted to be baptized. He wasn’t sure he wanted to stay Amish. Jeremiah had always been adventurous and he’d often talked about things of the world, but he changed right before her eyes. She saw the change the last time they’d talked.
“Jeremiah, what are you saying? Your place is here, with me. This is our life. The life God gave us.”
But that night she’d lost him completely. His friend who’d gone back to his duties had been on a dangerous mission to find and kill a known terrorist, he explained.
“I was at the Campton place a few hours ago, helping Mr. Campton with replacing some worn floors. They were watching a news report on television about a secretive raid that happened a few days ago. I could tell they were concerned. Then these two men in uniform showed up at the door. Mrs. Campton screamed out and we ran to her. Mr. Campton saw the two men and started to cry. It was horrible. They’d come to tell them that Edward was dead. Killed in the raid. Killed, Ava Jane.”
Once Ava Jane heard that and after Jeremiah told her he’d been there when they’d received the terrible news, she knew she’d lost Jeremiah.
His friend who’d served his country as a Navy SEAL had died, and now Jeremiah wanted to join up and fight an unspeakable enemy to avenge that death. That went against the tenets of their faith.
“No, Jeremiah, no,” she cried. “I beg you, don’t do this. We don’t get involved in these things. We don’t fight wars. Stay with me. We have plans, remember? Our own home, children. A life together. We’ve talked about it since we were thirteen.”
“I want that life,” he said, tears streaming down his face. “But I have to do this now, while I’m young. I’ll come back one day. Soon.” His hands on her face, he looked into her eyes, torment twisting his expression. “I can’t explain it, but I have to go.”
“No.” She didn’t agree with him, did not agree with how he followed Edward around, always asking questions and trying to be Englisch. He’d spent his rumspringa trying to be someone he wasn’t and now he’d become someone she didn’t know.
Blinking away tears, she came back to the present, focused on her children and tried to take a breath.
But he’s back.
He’d said he’d come home to help his family. True, his daed was ill, first from a broken hip and now with an infection that wouldn’t heal. After many weeks in a nearby hospital, Isaac had requested he be brought home. He now lay, in and out of consciousness. It was just a matter of time.
But who had summoned Jeremiah home?
Surely not his stubborn, hard daed, who’d banned Jeremiah from their home. Probably not his mamm. She’d never go against her husband’s wishes. Probably his sister, Beth.
The siblings had managed to stay close through the years. Beth often gave Ava Jane updates, even when she’d never asked for them. Sometimes, he couldn’t be located, such as when Jacob had died. His life had become so secretive and covert. Because it had become a dangerous life. Ava Jane had prayed for Jeremiah so many times. That was her duty. She prayed for everyone she knew. But she’d never prayed him home. Not once.
She wanted no part of the man.
She wanted to go back to that night and hear him say instead, “I’ll stay, Ava Jane. For you. Only you.”
Stop it, she told herself. Think of Jacob. You can have no betrayal of your husband in your thoughts.
So now while her children did their chores and ran around in the sunshine, chasing butterflies, Ava Jane sat in Jacob’s rocking chair and cried for her husband, her head pounding with both physical and mental pain. She needed his warmth right now. She needed him here with her in their safe, comfortable beloved world. Jacob would hold her close and tell her he’d protect her and take care of her. No matter what.
Her husband had tried to show her the love that Jeremiah had thrown away and, in turn, she’d tried to be a good wife to Jacob. They had truly grown to love each other. They’d been together through the loss of both of Jacob’s parents, first his mother and then, a year later, his father. Jacob never quite got over losing his parents. But then he’d died five years later.
Now, struggling on her small farm, she didn’t have Jacob to shield her from the pain of seeing Jeremiah again. Jeremiah, the same but so different.
Ava Jane tugged her shawl tightly around her as the gloaming fell across the green grass and newly budding fruit trees, the last of the sun’s rays covering the hills and valleys and rooftops like a light linen veil. She wondered how she’d ever be able to accept Jeremiah being back in Campton Creek. No matter that she was allowed to speak to him since he’d never been baptized and there was no ban on him. No matter that she might not see him every day anyway. No matter that his family needed him and he’d heeded that call. None of it mattered and she shouldn’t even fret about these things.
Just knowing he was nearby—that would be the hard thing.
Ava Jane rubbed her aching temples and sipped the tea she hoped would subdue the agony attacking her brain.
Dear Lord, give me the strength to go about my life. He has no meaning to me now. I have to forget