met Gwen at the end of the hallway, her heartbeat increased tenfold; two minutes sooner and she’d have been caught red-handed.
“Hi,” Kat said in what she hoped was a bright, calm tone. “If you’re looking for Mike, I think he’s in the study. I heard his voice as I walked past.”
“Thanks,” Gwen responded with a puzzled frown. “Is everything okay? You look a bit flustered.”
“Yes...” Kat took a deep breath. “Of course, everything’s fine.”
“And your sea and nature sessions are going well?”
“Really well. I’m looking forward to expanding to animal therapy.”
“Good luck with that,” Gwen said. “Though it may take a bit longer to set up than your sea therapy.”
Now, what did that mean? wondered Kat as Gwen carried on down the hall. Had Luke already managed to put a spoke in the wheels? Well, her previous work with children and animals had been a huge success, and once she got this program all set up and running, it would succeed, too. Gwen was right that it would take some organizing; she needed not just the right animals, but a place to keep and care for them, plus feed and bedding and everything else they required. Not to mention risk assessments for absolutely everything. She’d better start making plans right away.
IT HAD BEEN ALMOST half an hour since he’d slammed the door on Kat Molloy and Luke was still seething. What did she expect, anyway? Obviously, he was going to watch out for his son, and if her sessions were in any way unsafe, he was going to interfere. She might be competent enough as a counselor, but her ideas about sea and animal therapy were something else. And now their disagreement had probably pushed Ben even further away from him.
All Luke really wanted was to make things right with his son, but everything he tried seemed to go wrong. And how she’d had the gall to turn up at his door and ask for help when she’d caused so much trouble was beyond him. He did feel a prickle of guilt for the way he’d ended the conversation, but she’d pushed him too far. How dare she insinuate that he didn’t love his own son?
With a heavy sigh, Luke went into the bathroom to shave and freshen up before dinner. He stared into the mirror and soaped his chin, his mind drifting over the past few weeks.
Since the moment he’d heard Ben was coming to Flight, Luke’s life had turned upside down—not that he’d have it any other way, of course. He remembered Mike calling him into his office and questioning him about Ben. Luke had tried to be totally honest, but as far as he’d known, Ben had been living a privileged and secure life in the care of his wealthy grandparents, Mollie and Jim Jackson, and his mother, Carly—Luke’s ex-wife.
Mike had frowned slightly, waiting for him to go on, and Luke had found himself making excuses for not being in his son’s life. When Ben was born, Mollie had promised him that she and Jim would make sure their grandson would be well taken care of, and he and Carly would have done nothing but argue if he’d stuck around. He’d believed he had nothing to offer Ben and that the boy didn’t need him, either.
“Did you want to be in his life?” Mike had asked, and he’d hesitated before replying. He wasn’t proud of that.
“I didn’t even know about him at first,” he’d said. “Carly and I were only married for a few months, and I hardly knew her family. Her mother called me a long time after we split up, totally out of the blue one afternoon. I was working down south. ‘I think it’s only right that you should know about Ben,’ she said.”
Luke genuinely hadn’t known that Carly was pregnant when they split up. Apparently, she’d insisted that she didn’t want Luke in her son’s life, but that hadn’t sat well with Mollie. After that initial call, Ben’s grandmother had promised to keep in touch and let Luke know how the boy was doing. And she had phoned him occasionally. When he’d moved nearer to where they lived, though, and pushed to have more contact with his son, maybe even get to see him, she had dropped what at the time felt like a bombshell.
Mollie had asked him to meet her at a tearoom on the outskirts of Lancaster one Saturday afternoon, a smart upmarket place that served proper English afternoon teas.
She’d already ordered when he arrived, but after she’d said her piece, the crustless egg sandwiches and fruit scones had turned his stomach. “Look,” she’d said kindly, placing her hand earnestly upon his. “I know that you and Carly were no good together, and it was right that you should split up so soon. No point hanging on to something that wasn’t working.”
“Our whole marriage was a series of impulsive decisions,” he’d agreed.
Mollie had nodded wisely, understanding. “I know that. The thing is, he’s never met you, Luke. He is almost two years old and you are a stranger to him. I thought it only right that you should know you have a son, but I honestly believe it would be way too confusing for him to have you turn up in his life now... One day, perhaps, when he’s old enough to know what he wants, he’ll probably ask to meet his dad and we would never stop him, but for now—for now we think that you should stay away, for Ben’s own good. He has a life, Luke—a happy, secure life filled with love, and he lacks for nothing. Your life’s not settled right now—you told me that the last time we spoke. You don’t have a steady job, and who knows where you’ll be next week, or next year. Do you really think it would be fair to let Ben get to know you, only to maybe have to leave him again?”
Everything inside him had screamed with objection. “But he’s my son. I need to know my own son.”
Mollie had clutched his arm. “Look, you’ve had nothing to do with him up until now. He’s happy and loved, a lovely, bubbly, content little boy, and you just want to pull his life apart for your own satisfaction.”
“But I’m his father.”
“Please, Luke. Think about Ben, not yourself. We can give him everything he needs to become the best that he can be. So please, if you care about him at all, just walk away. It will be the most unselfish and noble thing you could ever do for your son... Maybe when your life’s more settled and secure and you can guarantee that you’ll always be there for him, we can reconsider.”
He hadn’t agreed; he’d never agreed. He’d walked away from her that day with his emotions laid bare. Was she right? he’d asked himself again and again. Was he really being selfish in wanting to be in his son’s life? Ben didn’t need him; that was for sure. The boy had everything, so maybe he should just back off as Mollie had suggested, until he could walk back into Ben’s life and make him proud to be his son. He’d always felt like a failure to his dad and he didn’t want to be a failure to his son, too.
He’d done as Mollie had asked, but still tore himself apart over his decision, until he’d seen the job posting for a handyman position at Flight and it had seemed like a sign. Working around kids who needed help seemed like a good way to make a difference, since he’d been totally unable to have an impact on his own son’s life...yet.
Of course, he hadn’t given Mike all the details in his office that day, but he hoped he’d said enough to make it clear that he regretted not being in Ben’s life up until now.
Splashing cold water on his face, Luke grimaced at the spot of blood on his chin. It seemed he couldn’t even shave now without losing concentration.
Luke made himself a strong coffee and sat at his desk, his mind still spinning. It was seven years since he’d walked away from that meeting with Mollie, and he hated himself for agreeing to do as she had asked. He’d been wrong to stay away—he should have fought to see his son. He should have moved heaven and earth to be in his life... He’d known it the minute Ben had stepped through Mike’s office door just a few short weeks ago. And if he’d been around to spread the load when things started to go wrong for the Jacksons, maybe Ben wouldn’t have needed a special school at all. And maybe not having a dad in his life was