Susan Mallery

Surrender In Silk


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      “Yeah, I do. I can’t—” Oh, God, she couldn’t break down in front of Zach. “Please leave,” she murmured.

      Instead of leaving, he put his hands on her shoulders. She tried to shrug him off, but he ignored her efforts. He turned her and gathered her close, pulling her into his embrace.

      She resisted, hating her weakness, hating herself for wanting to give in and borrow his strength.

      “Hush, Jamie,” he said softly. “It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.”

      He knew her better than she knew herself. A sob overtook her, and she sagged against him. His arms came around her. He held her tightly, as if he feared she might be torn away from him. She cried until she was drained and empty.

      Gradually she became aware of his body close to hers. Somehow during her outburst, he’d moved them both to the sofa. He was sitting in the corner with her curled up next to him. His arms held her close. She could hear the steady sound of his heart and feel the rise and fall of his chest. He smelled masculine and tempting. Very tempting.

      The first trickle of desire was easily explained away. The second was more difficult. Then the trickle turned into a flood and she had to stiffen to keep from reaching out to him. Without thinking, without wanting to, she raised her head to look at him.

      His dark eyes brightened with a fire she’d never seen before. A muscle twitched in his cheek.

      “Dammit, Jamie, don’t look at me like that.”

      “Like what?”

      “As if I’m some kind of hero. You were right when you said I was a bastard.”

      “I don’t understand.”

      “Yeah, you do. You don’t want this.”

      She wasn’t sure what the “this” was, but she was pretty sure she did want it. She’d never felt this way before. Guys had always been friends and amusing companions. She had more in common with them than with women. But she’d never felt the need to—

      Slowly, cautiously, knowing he might turn on her at any moment, she raised her hand toward his face. Using just the tips of her fingers, she touched his jaw. It was midafternoon. She could feel the heat of him, and the prickling of stubble.

      He grabbed her hand. This time his grip punished. He squeezed her fingers until she thought her bones might crack. But instead of pushing her away, he brought her palm to his mouth and kissed her sensitive skin.

      She felt the fire all the way down to her toes. Her breath caught in her throat. Her breasts, which had never been more than a nuisance before, swelled and she began to sense the possibilities. Between her thighs, a different kind of heat formed and grew, leaving her feeling both bold and weak.

      Zach bit the soft skin of her palm, then used his tongue to soothe the wound. He released her, then leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes.

      “The first damn day,” he muttered. “I spend six months avoiding this, and the first day you aren’t my responsibility, I blow it.” He swore again.

      Blow it? Avoiding it? She stared at him. “You’ve wanted to have sex with me for six months?”

      He grabbed her hand again, but this time he brought it to his crotch. She felt the long, hard desire there. Of course, she knew the mechanics of what went on. She’d seen naked men before. In high school, she’d had to walk through the boys’ locker room to get to the weights, and the teenagers often flashed her. But she’d never been impressed or interested. Until now.

      Everything clicked into place. They’d both wanted the same thing and they’d both done their best to avoid it.

      Zach started to stand up. Without thinking, Jamie shifted until she straddled him. She pressed against him to hold him in place. “Don’t go,” she said. “Please. I—”

      She never got to say what she wanted. Just as well, since she wasn’t really sure.

      Zach stopped her words with his mouth. He pressed his lips against hers, taking everything she offered and giving back more. When his tongue stroked against her tingling skin, she parted for him. She clung to his shoulders, her legs clamped around his thighs. Her world spun.

      Nothing had prepared her for this. His hands were everywhere. Her back, her rear, her stomach, her breasts.

      Her breasts. She sucked in a breath as he cupped her curves, then teased the taut peaks. She broke their kiss and arched back to give him more room. Every part of her body cried out for him. When he tugged her to the big bed in the center of the room, she went eagerly.

      He made love as he lived—hard, on the edge, with an attention to details that left her weak. He removed her clothes, then traced every inch of her. As his mouth sought, then found, her sensitized nipples, his fingers performed magic between her thighs. She hadn’t known it could be like this.

      She hadn’t known his chest would be so broad, or his muscles so supple. They moved and tightened in response to her tentative touch. He moaned low in his throat when she nibbled on his shoulder and tasted his salty skin. He caught his breath as he entered her tight, virgin body.

      Later, when he’d shown her what all the fuss was about, when she’d stopped shaking and panting and the room was finally still, he braced his head on his hand and stared at her.

      “You didn’t tell me,” he said.

      She did her best to look innocent of the charge. “Tell you what?”

      “That you were a virgin.”

      “I—” She smiled uncomfortably and tried not to notice that they were both naked and the sheet and blankets were tangled around their feet. There hadn’t been any physical proof. Her active life-style had taken care of that years ago. “How did you know?”

      His smile was rueful. “You were too surprised by everything.”

      “Oh.” She felt herself blushing and she looked away. “I’m sorry if it was horrible.”

      “It wasn’t.”

      He placed his hand on her bare belly and stroked her skin. From there he moved up to her breasts. He cupped first one, then the other. Within seconds she was trembling and ready. He leaned close and took her nipple in his mouth. He licked the tight point, teasing her to mindlessness. Then he drew his hand down between her damp curls.

      “If we make love again, you’ll be sore,” he said.

      She parted her legs. “I’ll be okay.”

      He smiled. A real smile. One that took her breath away. She realized she knew almost nothing about this man’s life. Not the details, anyway. But she knew him. She knew his soul. Surely that was more important.

      She touched his short dark hair. “Maybe I won’t hurt so bad if I’m on top,” she said.

      He laughed and hauled her close. As they touched from shoulder to shin, as his erection pressed into her belly, she felt a sense of homecoming. As if this was where she’d always belonged.

      “How come you’re still a virgin?” he asked.

      “I was a jock in high school and college. Most men don’t find that very sexy. I never got asked out, never went to my prom.”

      He kissed her forehead. “I apologize for the stupidity of my gender.”

      “It’s okay.”

      “I have a cabin in Colorado. It’s not much, but it’s private and the view is spectacular. We could spend the week there.”

      For the second time that day, she fought tears. This time she won. She smiled and nodded. “Let’s go.”

      Just before dawn of the last day, she woke up alone. Jamie stretched, then reached for Zach, but he wasn’t there. She sat up. The back of her neck prickled uncomfortably, and she