Mary J. Forbes

A Father, Again


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sported fantasies that were way out of line.

      Not wanting to hear about kids, tooth-brushing or bedtime rituals, he asked, “That decaf?”

      “I’d be wide-eyed as an owl with the real stuff. Please. Sit.” She motioned to the table with four ladder-back chairs, then opened a tiny pantry to shelve the groceries.

      He stepped beside her and placed three cans of spaghetti sauce on an upper shelf. Before he could reach for another tin, she said, “Would you please sit at the table?”

      “I don’t mind a little kitchen duty.”

      She took the tin from his hand. “I’d rather you sat.”

      It took two seconds for irritation to plant itself. Good enough to play pack mule and carry groceries, but apparently lacking the aptitude to see where they belonged.

      Just like Colleen. “Go do your man thing and stay out of my kitchen. I don’t need you here.”

      In the end, had she needed him anywhere? As her husband? As the father of their kids?

      “Thanks, but I really don’t have time for coffee,” he said, stepping over three bags. “Got a ton of work that needs doing.” Grabbing the shirt she’d laundered, he headed for the door and his boots. So much for neighborly ways.

      “Jon. Don’t go. It’s…”

      A sitcom’s cackle drifted up from below. Rain drummed on the roof above.

      “It’s not you,” she went on, throat closing. “It’s me. I…” Her heart thrummed. Men in general make me edgy. Logically she knew Jon was not “men in general.” Still… He defeated her own height of five-four by almost a foot. And in that soaked navy T-shirt his chest appeared unforgiving.

      She avoided looking at his arms, his hands. She’d seen them lift the groceries like a spoonful of granola. Powerful. Dusted with dark, masculine hair, right to the knuckles on his work-toughened fingers. A wolf tattoo prowled along rain-damp skin above his left wrist. Once the town rebel, now a man of dark secrets and possible danger.

      But look at him, she did. Straight into eyes as indifferent as a tundra windchill. “I’m not used to having company.” Purposely, she kept her hands loose. “You took me off guard.” Because she hadn’t expected to see him again for at least another week or two, except maybe across the distance of their yards.

      Then out of the wet, dark weather he’d loomed…black ponytail plastered to his neck…frown honing every determined angle of his face… And her breath…

      She hadn’t breathed calmly since.

      He said nothing, but neither did he leave. Just looked at her. Waiting.

      “I’m sorry,” she offered finally.

      “For what?”

      “For how I must sound. As I said—”

      “You’re not used to company or want it. That makes two of us.” The words were sensitive as winterkill.

      He turned and stepped out onto the deck, pushing wool-socked feet into his boots. Without bothering with the laces, he walked down the steps, into the rain.

      She wanted to call out. Invite him back. Wanted to explain it wasn’t him, but another that had her fluttering worse than a nervous house wren. Silent, she went to the edge of the porch. Self-control was difficult to teach, arduous to learn. At the moment, she needed strength. If it looked cowardly, she didn’t care. She clasped her hands in front of her.

      Halfway across her lawn, he stopped. Rain lashed his heavy shoulders and skimmed from an implacable chin.

      “Good-bye, Rianne.”

      Securing the laundered shirt under an arm, he shoved his hands into his pockets and disappeared through the hole in the juniper hedge. He had known who she was. Why hadn’t he acknowledged her yesterday? Or had Seth sitting on those steps confirmed it today?

      “You remember me.”

      She’d never forgotten.

      She listened to the downpour on the roof. Heard it gush in the eaves. Watched a mini waterfall at the side of the porch.

      Chilled, she went back into the house, where she finished the groceries, working efficiently, rolling up the plastic bags and tucking them into a drawer. From the skinny broom closet, she hauled out the mop. After wetting the sponge under the tub tap in the bathroom down the hall, she set about tidying up puddles left by big, work-battered boots. He means nothing to me. Nothing.

      Then why did you put him in your journal?

      She clenched her jaw to an aching point.

      God help me, I’ll erase it tonight.

      But she heard again her name, submerged in a deep quiet timbre.

      Chapter Two

      Phone to his ear, Jon propped a hip on the counter in his spacious kitchen and stared absently at his reflection in the dark glass shielding the wet night. Three rings.

      “Come on,” he muttered. “Pick up.”

      Five rings. “Hi,” said a familiar, breathless voice.

      “Hey, Colleen.”

      A pause. “It’s you.”

      Who were you expecting? “It’s me,” he acknowledged. “Brittany around?”

      “She’s busy watching TV.”

      He tamped down a flash of ire. “Could you get her please? I’d like to talk to my daughter.”

      Muffled tones told him his ex-wife had covered the mouthpiece. Then, “Brittany would rather not tonight. She’s not feeling well.”

      To hell with it. “Just get her, Colleen. If she doesn’t wanna talk she can tell me herself. Or should I drive up this minute and see what the problem really is?”

      “You wouldn’t.”

      “Try me.”

      Again silence, again the muffled conversation. “Fine, I’ll get her.”

      He winced as the receiver slammed the light-green counter he knew so well. In the background, he heard a male voice comment, “Don’t let him hassle you, Col.” Jon pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to two hundred by fives. Finally footsteps, running ones, came closer. The phone scraped off the counter.

      “Daddy?”

      “Hey, peanut. How ya doing?”

      “Okay, I guess.”

      “Not feeling so hot, huh?”

      “No.”

      “Got a cold or a tummy-ache?”

      “Uh-uh.”

      Pause.

      “You can tell me, sweetheart.”

      “Mom said I shouldn’t talk to you.”

      Anger leapt, a fresh flame. He curbed the urge to bellow through the phone for his ex-wife. “Why not, Brit?”

      “I dunno.” He imagined her tracing patterns along the countertop. “Mom said it gets me mixed up. Especially now that she’s gonna marry Allan.”

      With effort Jon pulled in a calming breath. He didn’t give a flying fig who his ex married, but to play on Brittany’s feelings made his blood pump. He forced his fingers loose on the receiver. “Do you want me to stop phoning, honey?”

      He felt her hesitate. His heart disintegrated.

      “When I’m with you—” her voice was tiny “—I don’t want to come home. But I don’t want Mom to be alone either.”

      “Aw, peanut…”