by accident, enjoying every second of being a mother when Mylo was born.
It had been extremely worrying at the start; Mylo had been born prematurely at thirty-three weeks weighing only three pound ten. She remembered staring at this delicate little baby in the incubator, terrified of taking him home in case she did something wrong. Seeing him so vulnerable and fragile made Kim promise herself she would be the best mother she possibly could. She didn’t expect to love taking care of little people and protecting them, catering for their every need, but she discovered it wasn’t boring at all. In fact, she loved it. She needed it. She loved feeling essential, with two tiny little people constantly climbing all over her, lying on her lap and resting their heads on her chest.
She couldn’t believe how quickly Mylo and Willow had already grown; time seemed to be flying past and Kim wanted to relish every moment with her babies. The thought of going out like she used to just didn’t appeal to her any more. She didn’t mind the odd dinner here and there, it was always nice to catch up with people, but generally speaking, she didn’t want to go out and get drunk, feeling ill all the next day. She had a family to look after and it just wasn’t worth it. She had grown up. She was happy with her life now. When they’d first got the invitation to go Vegas, Kim had immediately thought there was no way she was travelling over ten hours away without her family. She knew how happy Holly would be if she went; Holly’s excitement had been obvious the minute she’d seen the invite, but she’d wanted Kim to go too, and Kim just wasn’t sure if she could just up and leave being a mother to two young children. They came first.
Kim thought back to how Andy had come home that evening, Mylo and Willow fast asleep upstairs, Kim just dishing up dinner.
‘Good day at work?’ she’d asked, like she did every day.
Andy was a PE teacher at their local secondary school. Rugby was his thing, and he also did rugby coaching on Sundays. He lived and breathed it, though Kim still didn’t have the foggiest ideas what the rules were.
‘Yeah, it was good thanks. Lily and I were just trying to organize sports day for most of the day. She’s got some great ideas, I’ll give her that.’
Kim’s brow creased. ‘Lily? Remind me who that is?’ she asked. She thought she’d heard something about a Lily the week before, but Mylo had come downstairs saying he wanted a drink and Kim had been distracted.
‘She’s just a new PE teacher at the school,’ Andy had told her vaguely, pouring them both a glass of orange juice.
‘Oh right. What’s she like? Young? Old?’
‘She’s twenty-eight, slim, long dark hair,’ Andy said nonchalantly as he reached for two coasters before placing the drinks on the table.
‘What about your day? Did you see Holly like you planned?’ Andy asked as she sat in front of him, handing over his plate.
‘Yes,’ Kim had replied. ‘We just took the kids to the park, that’s all.’
‘The one near the newsagents? I think Lily lives near there. She was telling me earlier today that they do a great summer fair in that park; perhaps we should check it out? Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask if you fancied a night out soon? Tony and Leah have asked if we wanted to go to their house for dinner. My mum said she’d babysit.’
Tony was Andy’s oldest friend from school. He’d been best man at their wedding and Andy had been his when he’d married Leah. Though Kim knew they hadn’t met up in quite some time, the prospect of spending an evening with them didn’t exactly sound enthralling. Tony and Leah didn’t have any children and Kim knew they would constantly be topping up their wine glasses, convincing them to stay for ‘just one more’. They would most likely end up getting home in the early hours, and with Mylo and Willow being such early risers, Kim couldn’t think of anything worse. She knew Andy would be keen to stay late and it would be Kim appearing like the boring one, battling to get him to leave.
‘I’d rather not if I’m honest,’ Kim told him.
‘Why?’ Andy turned to her, his brow knitted.
Kim sighed reluctantly. ‘It will end up a late one, Andy. I don’t want to feel rough the next day when we have such young kids. Maybe another time, eh?’
He sighed heavily and nodded, looking disappointed, knowing there was no point in pushing things further. When Kim made her mind up, she rarely changed it.
Kim was keen to change the subject. ‘We’ve been invited to Emma Langford’s wedding in Vegas. Shame it’s so far away or we could have gone, but there’s no way we could ask either of our mums to have the kids for so long, is there? I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving them either. I know Holly is really eager to go though.’
‘Why don’t you just go, Kim?’ Andy suggested, running his hand through his beard, which needed a trim. ‘Go and have fun with Holly. Just because we have kids doesn’t mean we have to miss out on everything, does it? One of our mums can have the kids for a few days when I’m working and then I’ll take care of them over the weekend. Come on, treat yourself. Once upon a time you would have jumped at the chance of going to Vegas.’
Kim shook her head, not feeling entirely comfortable with the idea. Kim was their mother. As much as Andy was a great father, he didn’t do things like Kim did. He didn’t know that Kim had to pretend to sprinkle sugar on Mylo’s cornflakes to keep him happy in the morning or the way Willow had to be rocked to sleep if she woke up in the night. ‘Yes, but things are different now, aren’t they? I have responsibilities. No, honestly. Thanks Andy, but I don’t think I should be leaving them.’
Andy shrugged with an unreadable expression before sitting at the dinner table and gazing out into the garden. ‘I’m going to mow the lawn after dinner,’ he said.
Half an hour later Kim was watching him roam up and down the lawn with a determined look on his face. Andy saw their garden as a serious business. He was often asking her opinions on the flowerbeds or if she liked the lines he’d made in the grass.
She’d always thought of Andy as her rugged bear: he was tall at six foot two, and being a rugby player, he was solid and brawny, but with kind, gentle features.
Andy’s phone vibrated, which he’d left on the table and Kim picked it up, about to pass it to him before she noticed it was a message from Lily.
Hey hot stuff. What you up to?
Kim swallowed hard as she read the message again, an unsettled feeling washing over her immediately. Hot stuff? What on earth was all that about? It wasn’t exactly the appropriate thing to write to a married man, was it? But perhaps it was just in a friendly way, Kim told herself. Harmless banter between two work colleagues. Kim didn’t want to be suspicious and she knew she should just put the phone down, but her eyes flicked up at Andy who was in a world of his own in the garden, and she clicked on the message so she could see the rest of the thread.
The blood rushed to Kim’s ears and she felt she had something lodged in her throat as she looked through their other messages, which had been going on over the past few weeks.
Lily: Where are you eating lunch today? Want some company?
Andy: Sure! I’ll come find you now.
Lily: Can’t stop thinking about what you said earlier. I keep laughing!
Andy: Yep. Funny as well as good looking. Told you I was perfect!
Lily: Maybe you’re right :)
Lily: Fancy a drink after work Friday night? I want to prove that I can drink you under the table ;)
Andy: Maybe. I’ll see if I can make it.
Lily: Been thinking of you today. Missing me?
Andy: Like a hole in the head!
Lily: Ha. I know that’s a lie. Of course you are
Andy: Maybe