Liz Fenwick

The Path to the Sea


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do anything right now because I am too little, but one day I want to make a difference.’ Crossing her arms against her chest, she sat straighter.

      He smiled. ‘Then I know you will.’

      ‘I think, like Uncle Tom said, I will try and make a difference with words.’

      ‘Did he say that?’

      ‘He said I was good with words.’

      ‘Uncle Tom likes words.’ He looked out the window and frowned.

      She could hear the rain hitting the window. Was he cross about the rain?

      ‘But enough about Uncle Tom. Are you ready for a day’s sailing tomorrow?’

      ‘Of course. How many people will be with us?’

      He laughed. ‘That is a good question and the success of tonight will tell me how many we will have tomorrow.’

      ‘It will be a success. Mummy always has successes.’

      ‘That she does, my little one. Your mother is the best hostess ever and very clever to boot.’

      ‘Are hostesses not clever?’ She wrinkled her nose. Most of the ladies she knew were hostesses. Were they not clever? She didn’t like that idea.

      ‘I’m not going to comment on that one, but your mother is a rare breed.’

      ‘Breed? Like a dog or an exotic bird?’

      He stood. ‘You know, Diana, you are good with words.’

      ‘Thank you. I learned a new one today.’ She grinned. ‘Perceptive.’

      ‘Good word.’ He picked up her new diary on the desk. ‘Where did you hear it?

      ‘Mummy.’

      ‘Really?’ He tilted his head and his eyes met hers. ‘Who was perceptive?’

      ‘Uncle Tom.’

      He put the diary down. ‘Of course. That’s the perfect word for Uncle Tom.’ He kissed the top of her head. ‘Have you started the diary yet?’

      ‘Yes, just a little while ago.’

      ‘Are you keeping it secret?’

      She nodded. ‘Diaries are supposed to be secret. It’s for me only.’

      ‘Then make sure you keep it safe.’ He tapped it then blew her a kiss as he left the room. Diana picked up her diary and looked at what she had written so far.

       PRIVATE

       This belongs to Diana Trewin of Boskenna

      She turned the page.

       3 August 1962

       Dear Diary,

       I’m still not sure what to write about in this diary that Uncle Tom has given me. It is so beautiful. It’s bright red. It’s mine!

       Today was mostly boring. The sailing was good but Daddy and I spent too much time with Mr and Mrs Venn. No one but me will read this so I can say that I don’t like them and no one can tell me not to say it. I want Mummy with us but although they haven’t told me I know Mummy isn’t sailing because she lost the baby a little while ago and she’s tired. I never saw the baby and that makes me sad.

       Right now I’m thinking about the raspberries and cream that I had. Not for my pudding. It was more second pudding, I think, like the Hobbit’s second breakfast. Daddy finished reading The Hobbit to me two nights ago. My tummy is rumbling again. I wonder if they have even started dinner downstairs yet. They always eat so late. Maybe I’ll sneak downstairs after I read another chapter.

      Running her finger over the words, she knew she would have to work harder if it was to be interesting to read. It was boring. She needed to be more perceptive in what she wrote, she decided.

       Lottie

       3 August 2018, 10.00 p.m.

      It hadn’t taken Lottie long to unload her things from the car into one of the stables. Someone, probably Alex, had been clearing and cleaning up the outbuildings. For years these buildings had stored lawnmowers, garden equipment that had last been used before WWI, old barbecues and spare furniture. Most of it was now either gone or neatly ordered. She was impressed. Whatever his reason for being in Boskenna, Alex Hoskine had certainly made a positive difference in the outbuildings.

      Before shutting her stuff away, well out of sight, she pulled out the key paperwork file. It was her business, her problem, and on Monday she would make a renewed effort to sort it, including a proper chat with her best friend and solicitor, Sally. Right now, she wanted to focus on what she could do to help her grandparents. Pulling the gate back, she caught her shin on a small metal chest. It looked like an old tuck box from boarding school, but it wasn’t hers. She picked it up to put it out of the way. From the weight of it she knew it had something in it.

      Curiosity aroused, she opened it and two black glass eyes stared up at her. She gently pulled the old bear from the box and a sheet of paper fell out. Lottie squinted at the faded writing…

       Diana,

       Both Boskenna and I miss you. Look forward to seeing you soon. Here’s Ben and your things to keep you company until then.

       With love,

       Mrs H

      Underneath it was a small navy Guernsey sweater covering a pile of books. Why was this in the stables?

      Taking the box with her, she headed towards her mother’s bedroom, but she wasn’t there. Lottie turned around and went to her own. Would the contents reveal what her mother had been like back then? Gran had said Lottie reminded her of Diana as a little girl. But Lottie could never picture her mother as a child. There was something too reserved about her.

      The teddy bear smelled of dust and was worn threadbare on the ears. They must have been soft once. Would her mother recall its name? Many of the books looked like they may have been Gran’s once . . . except one, which had a beautiful red leather cover. Opening it, she saw in careful childish handwriting . . .

       PRIVATE

       This belongs to Diana Trewin of Boskenna

      She went to the window, hoping to see her mother, but no luck. Returning to her bed, she flipped the diary open again. Empty. She frowned. Flicking through the whole book, she saw her mother had begun writing from the back of the diary. A quick scan of the words provided a glimpse into her mother’s past. Eating, sailing, eating, eating and then Lottie’s hand stopped. The last entry.

       5 August 1962

       Dear Diary,

       Daddy is dead. It’s my fault.

      She blinked then she read it again. What did her mother mean?

      ‘Lottie?’ Her mother called from the hallway.

      She shoved the diary under her pillow.

      ‘There you are.’ Her mother walked through the door, paused then took two big steps to the bed. She clutched the bear. ‘Ben.’

      ‘You remember him?’

      She nodded and stroked the Guernsey sweater with her free hand. ‘Where did you find this?’ Her eyes narrowed. That momentary flash of a softer side to her mother vanished. Interrogation mode was back in place.

      ‘In the . . .’ Lottie hesitated. If she said