and the Chocolate Factory every night. She would read them one chapter per night and on a Saturday and Sunday night they got two chapters. It was one of the first books that Sarah had read as a child by herself and she loved reliving the excitement of Charlie Bucket and Willie Wonka with her own children now. The chocolate factory and the golden ticket had been an escape for Sarah as a child, when things were out of control and scary. Her parents disapproving faces flashed into her mind, but she quickly pushed that image away and started to read.
‘“You mean people are actually going to be allowed inside the factory? Cried Grandpa Joe”’, Sarah began. She looked at her children, their eyes wide with wonder at the words Roald Dahl had created. She knew that both Tommy and Katie were wishing they were Charlie Bucket, just as millions of other children had done for decades before them, Sarah herself included. Ten minutes later she finished the chapter and smiled as she noted the children’s eyes heavy with sleep.
‘See you in my dreams, my darlings.’ Sarah said to them both. ‘Where will we meet tonight?’
‘Chocolate Land,’ Katie said excitedly.
‘You want to go there every night.’ Tommy said disdainfully.
‘Please,’ Katie begged. ‘And you love Chocolate Land!’
‘OK, Chocolate Land again.’ Tommy said quickly, giving in with a grin.
Smiling at them both, Sarah said, ‘Ok, Chocolate Land it is. I’ll meet you by the big Toblerone oak tree!’
‘And we’ll go swimming in the Dairy Milk pool!’ Katie added.
‘And eat the marshmallow clouds!’ Tommy piped in.
‘And pick Jelly Tot flowers!’ Sarah said smiling as she turned to go. ‘Night night both of you. Close your eyes and get dreaming. We’ve lots of chocolate to eat in our dreams tonight!’
Sarah walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine, her favourite Pinot Noir. It was only €4.99 and really pretty decent for that price. ‘Thank God for German retailers and their cheap wine’, she thought to herself. She rarely had a drink anymore, as she couldn’t justify the cost. But tonight, dwindling bank account or not, she needed something to help take the edge off. Glancing at her kitchen clock she realised James would be here any minute and right on cue, the doorbell rang. Opening the door, she looked at him and felt her lip begin to quiver, tears about to fall, so he pulled her tightly into his arms.
‘I’m so glad you came.’ Sarah said to him relief enveloping her immediately as she relaxed into his embrace. She always felt safe when James was with her.
‘Of course I came.’ James said tenderly. He loved her so much it was agony to see her so upset. He pulled back and looked at her closely.
‘OK, shoot. When did Edward come back?’
Sarah looked at her twin brother and wondered where to start. At first she thought it was her imagination that someone was watching her. But the sense had gotten stronger this past week.
‘It started after Paul left.’ Sarah said. ‘You know that feeling like someone has walked over your grave?’
James nodded, shuddering despite himself.
‘Well it’s kind of like that. I knew I was being watched but no matter how quickly I’d turn to check, there was never anyone there.’
‘You’ve been under a lot of pressure lately. Between money worries, being on your own with three kids and working crazy hours, it’s enough to put anyone on their last nerve.’ James said.
Sarah acknowledged this with a nod. ‘It’s more than that though. It’s such a strange feeling, it’s not too bad when I’m working, or when the kids are with me. But when they are all asleep and I’m in this house on my own, well it can get a bit scary….’
‘When did you suspect it was Edward?’ James asked, feeling a little ashamed that he’d nearly switched his phone off earlier.
‘It’s weird, I’ve had a sense of déjà vu for weeks, but I couldn’t quite place why. Now I can’t believe that Edward didn’t cross my mind. How stupid was I not to even think of him? But what with everything going on these past few weeks, I’ve not been sleeping well.’
James looked closely at her and could see fear etched on her face. The last time Edward was around resulted in Sarah being committed to a psych ward and James had to watch, helpless as his sister was dragged away from him kicking and screaming. There was no way on this earth he was going to let that happen again. He hadn’t heard Sarah mention Edward’s name in nearly two decades. But the impact he had made on both their lives ensured he’d never forgotten him and although Sarah didn’t talk about that time anymore, he would have bet his house that she remembered every detail of that time clearly too.
‘I’m not crazy, James.’ Sarah said suddenly with tears in her eyes. ‘I wasn’t then and I’m not now.’
‘I know that. You don’t need to say that to me Saz; I never believed you were crazy back then and you are one of the sanest people I know today.’
‘You haven’t called me Saz since we were kids.’ Sarah said smiling at her brother.
‘Ah, you’ll always be Saz to me.’ He said affectionately.
Sarah sighed and continued. ‘But Mam and Dad thought I was crazy didn’t they? They had me committed. They still look at me like I’m a raving lunatic even now. Like I’m going to have a One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest episode any minute. I always feel that Mam would use any excuse to get her hands on the kids. She has something negative to say every single time she comes into this house.’
Sarah looked around her living room. It was lived in but pretty tidy, considering she had three children. ‘I don’t know how she does it, but she always seems to arrive on the one day that the house is messy and I’ve no food in! If she thought I was having one of my ‘episodes’ again as she called them, that would be it, she’d be onto Child Protection and looking for custody!’
‘That would be over my dead body, Sarah. You’re a fantastic mother and even Mam and Dad would have to agree to that. Forget about the folks for now, they are not important. Sure, how often do they visit, once or twice a year? Get back to Edward.’ James reassured her quickly.
She took a large gulp of her wine; the alcohol helped to relax her.
‘When the kids went to bed last night I was tidying up the sitting room. I was putting their toys away in the toy box and I had that feeling again. I looked up, but this time somebody was there, standing in the corner of the room. Over there.’ Sarah pointed to the area.
James looked, half expecting to see Edward there right now. ‘It was him.’ Sarah said. ‘The craziest thing though, he hasn’t changed in the slightest. Three decades later, I’m unrecognisable, but him, he’s the same.’
‘You must have gotten such a fright. What did he say?’ James replied.
‘Nothing at all, at least he said nothing last night. He just smiled at me. It was the most beautiful smile and I got lost in it for a few minutes. I’d forgotten how his smile could make me feel like I was a child again. I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them again, he was gone. It all happened so quickly, I actually thought I’d imagined the whole thing.’
This time it was James who took a large gulp of wine. They sat in silence. Each in their own thoughts.
‘You said he didn’t say anything last night; can I assume he’s been back again?’ James eventually asked.
‘Yep, he was here this morning, after the kids went to school. Ella was having her nap. And when I came downstairs from her room, he was sitting at the kitchen table.’
‘Cosy.’ James said wryly. ‘What does he want, why come back after all this time?’
‘Exactly what I thought. Why now? I mean life couldn’t