Let's Call The Whole Thing Off. Jill Steeples

help that I felt like a completely disorganised and inefficient slouch in my old clothes, especially when Nina was dressed in a grey silk slub suit that oozed authority and class.

      She nodded and looked at me intently.

      ‘Is there something wrong, Anna?’

      ‘No, no, nothing wrong at all.’

      ‘Are you sure?’

      ‘Yes, absolutely!’ I said, trying to look and sound like someone who was perfectly employable.

      ‘And do you enjoy working here, Anna?’

      ‘Yes!’ I gave a little leap in my seat and banged my hand on her desk. ‘Sorry … I love my job,’ I said, not entirely convincingly.

       Please don’t sack me. Please don’t sack me. Please don’t sack me.

      ‘Good. It’s just that I couldn’t help noticing you’ve been a bit short with everyone this morning. Poor Adam couldn’t get away from your desk fast enough. There was the incident with the coffee. You completely forgot our meeting and I’ve just had an email from you that I think was intended for one of our suppliers.’ She turned her computer screen around so I could see for myself the incriminating evidence. ‘Is the stress of the wedding getting to you?’

      ‘Oh God. I am so sorry.’ I cringed in my seat. That was definitely the email I’d sent but no way had it been meant for Nina. Of all the people I could have mistakenly sent it to, it had to be my boss and on the day she was doing my appraisal too. ‘That email …’ The words trailed away. What words were there? Apart from disorganised, inefficient and ‘what job?’

      Nina widened her eyes, looking at me expectantly.

      ‘Right, well, let’s not worry about that for the moment, shall we?’ she said with an imperceptible sigh. ‘If I’m being honest with you, Anna, I think you’ve done a reasonable job within the department, although I’m pretty certain this wouldn’t be your ideal choice of career?’

      ‘No, but—’

      ‘I wonder if it wouldn’t be better if …’

      Oh God no. Please don’t sack me. I was pleading with my power of thought, but my subliminal suggestions were clearly not reaching the other side of the desk. Obviously there was some wonky celestial alignment at work, Mercury was in retrograde or Pluto was at odds with Neptune or Uranus was having an off day. It was the only explanation for everything going wrong in my life at the moment.

      ‘Nina, sorry to interrupt you but if you’re going to sack me I would much rather you come straight out and say so. Don’t worry about sparing my feelings. I’m really getting quite good at dealing with bad news right now.’

      Nina put down her pen and sat back in her chair, chewing on the inside of her lip.

      ‘Ah, so there is something wrong. I knew it.’ She gave a supercilious smile, the smug bitch. ‘Why don’t you tell me what’s been going on, Anna?’

      I looked at her, feeling all the energy slump out of me. What did it matter now? People were bound to find out sooner or later and if I was about to lose my job it wasn’t as if I’d have to come back and face everyone. I could disappear into the sunset with my pride hanging precariously in place.

      ‘Oh, it’s nothing really. Just the wedding, my wedding, this Saturday, it’s, um, well, it’s all a bit iffy now.’

      Nina’s perfectly sculptured eyebrows shot up her forehead.

      ‘That’s hardly nothing. I’m sorry to hear it. But if you were having second thoughts about the marriage then maybe it’s for the best.’

      ‘Oh, I wasn’t having second thoughts. I just found out Ed was doing a bit of last-minute sampling of other models currently available on the market, that’s all.’

      ‘I see.’ She put down her pen and pulled down the lid on her laptop, nodding sagely, as if she knew everything about being dropped from a great height. Which was highly unlikely. Nina was definitely the type of person to be doing all the dropping. Boyfriends. And now employees, by the look of things. ‘Look, Anna, why don’t you go home?’

      ‘Home?’ Oh God, my worst nightmares were coming true, but surely she’d have to give me some kind of warning, let me work my notice period. I know I’d been cocking up left, right and centre today, but nothing that warranted being sacked on the spot.

      ‘Take the rest of the week off. Your mind is clearly not here, which is perfectly understandable in the circumstances. We can do this meeting when you get back.’

      ‘So you’re not sacking me, then?’

      She gave a wry smile.

      ‘I never had any intention of sacking you, Anna. I actually wanted to discuss a new opportunity within the company that I think might better suit your skill set, but it can wait until another day. You need to go home and get things sorted out.’

      ‘Thanks, Nina,’ I said, feeling totally wrong-footed by her uncharacteristic show of kindness, ‘but I haven’t got any holiday left. I’ve used it all up for my honeymoon. Well, exotic holiday for one now, I suspect!’ I said brightly, trying to inject a note of humour into the whole sorry saga.

      ‘I know. Don’t worry about it. Just take it as compassionate leave.’

      ‘Really?’ I felt a huge lump rise in the back of my throat and tears gather in my eyes. Nina was showing me compassion. I wasn’t sure I could handle it. I’d never really liked her, considering her uppity, hard-edged and tight-lipped, but for the first time I was seeing a softer side to her character. ‘Thanks, Nina. I really appreciate it,’ I said, feeling bad at having misjudged her.

      I wondered for the first time if we could actually be friends. As I turned to walk out of her office, I wanted to say, Hey, Nina, if you’re not doing anything on Saturday, why don’t you come along to the evening reception for a few drinks, but I didn’t even know if there would be a wedding ceremony, let alone an evening ‘do’ now. I quashed the pang of guilt I felt for not having previously invited her.

      ‘Absolutely. You go and try to enjoy yourself. We can talk when you get back.’

      ‘Thanks.’ My hand grabbed the edge of the door, emotion threatening to overwhelm me. ‘You know, what everyone says about you, all that rubbishy stuff, it isn’t true. You’re absolutely lovely, you really are?’

      I don’t know what my mouth was thinking of. It was working totally independently of my brain. I saw the look of incredulity spread across Nina’s face.

      ‘Not that anybody says anything too—’

      ‘You have a great time, Anna,’ she interrupted.

      I walked out of her office with my dignity somewhere around my nether regions.

      Obviously Nina didn’t bear grudges. Obviously I was a rotten judge of character. Sophie, Ed and, most surprisingly, Nina had taught me that these last couple of days.