overload, which he suggested might be abated by a coffee in the cafeteria.
As the students left, he called another nurse to take over. ‘I need to speak with Nurse Grant for a moment but in her absence I want both cardiorespiratory and oxygen saturation monitoring and I’m prescribing digoxin. Dosages are in the notes and I want close observation until Nurse Grant returns.’
Jade had turned to walk away. She didn’t want to be confronted about her reaction. She didn’t want or need his concern.
‘Nurse Grant, please come with me for a moment.’ He kept his professional tone in front of the others then gently took her arm and directed her to a small office nearby used by consultants and residents when they needed to speak with parents in private. He closed the door and turned to her.
‘Jade, what’s wrong?’ he asked, releasing her from his firm hold but not the intensity of his gaze.
‘Nothing,’ she lied, and blinked even harder as she tried to look anywhere but at Mitchell. ‘I’m fine.’
‘You’re anything but fine.’
‘I’ll be okay. I don’t want special treatment.’ She looked up, and his expression wasn’t what she had been expecting. It wasn’t judgmental. It was empathetic and real and etched into every part of his face. And it suddenly and unexpectedly allowed her to give in to her feelings. Tears that had built up for so long began streaming down her face.
She hadn’t cried since the funeral. Her feelings had been bottled up inside. She had been strong because she’d felt she’d had no other choice. There was no one for her to lean on while she was Amber’s only support.
‘You’re so far from okay.’ Without hesitation, he reached out, put his arm around her and pulled her into his arms, and she didn’t pull away.
‘Is it Amber?’ He murmured the question as he gently stroked her hair. ‘Are you worried about her?’
Jade knew as the moments passed that, as much as it felt good to have a man’s arms around her, she couldn’t stay there for ever. And particularly not in Mitchell’s arms. He wouldn’t be there for ever; neither would she. It was crazy to let him into her heart. She slowly moved from his embrace and a place that had made her feel safe, if only for a moment.
‘Amber’s fine, honestly, Mitchell …’ She hesitated for a minute to gather her thoughts and put any growing feelings for him away. ‘It was the new arrival in NICU. The baby was delivered by C-section after a motor vehicle accident … and it just brought everything back. I have to toughen up. I’m working on it.’
Mitchell didn’t want Jade to toughen up at all. She didn’t need additional walls. He wanted more than anything to break down the ones she had. She might not be his usual fun-loving, easygoing type but suddenly he wondered if just a casual good time was enough any more. Being around Jade for the past few days, even putting Amber to bed and all it entailed, had not been the chore he had imagined. He had enjoyed every minute of that special time with his niece and with Jade.
His type was fast becoming a cute Californian girl with a pixie cut and the dress sense of someone’s maiden aunt but the soul and depth of no one he had ever met before.
‘The best nurses are those with empathy and compassion,’ he told her as she turned to face him. ‘You have both. Don’t hide what is inside you.’
Jade didn’t want to meet his gaze. She wanted to pull herself together and face the job outside. ‘I need to get back to work. We’re short enough on staff, let alone with me sitting in here, snivelling. I’m being self-indulgent and silly.’
‘You’re not being either, so take a minute,’ he continued. ‘And when you’re ready, head back out. If you prefer, I will switch your patient roster.’
Jade took a deep breath and gently shook her head. ‘I want to stay with my patient. I really do.’
‘It’s your call, if you’re up to it.’
‘I am,’ she said, crossing to the door, feeling the need to put space between them. He was much too appealing on a whole other level now. It wouldn’t just be his smouldering looks that would make it difficult. Now that Jade knew he had a heart, and a level of compassion and empathy she hadn’t thought he possessed, it would make it that much more difficult to be around him. But that wasn’t his problem. It was hers.
Jade walked back into NCIU and straight to her patient. Mitchell followed behind her. He admired her dedication and compassion, and although he wished she had taken some time out, he respected her wishes and acted accordingly.
‘I noticed her slow feeding time so I want you to switch to gavage feeding so she’s not working hard for the food and can conserve energy. Later we’ll try her sucking again but provide higher caloric formula. And I’ll see if they’ve decided on a name yet. I don’t want to refer to her by her surname. She needs her own name.’
Mitchell’s last few words made her smile. He genuinely cared so much for these babies and it wasn’t just his clinical abilities that impressed Jade. He treated the babies as little people with feelings, extending even to having a proper name. She was falling for the man, and there was no way to stop her tumble.
Jade followed Mitchell’s instructions, inserted a gavage tube into the tiny stomach and began the slow feed. Aware of the management of babies with congestive heart failure, Jade placed her in a semi-erect position for feeding and burped her every half an ounce to minimise the chance of vomiting after the feed. Jade felt an extra-special bond with this baby, who had a small tuft of blonde hair on her crown. Jade planned on spending additional time with Baby Morey as she didn’t have a mother who could visit and she wanted to provide that additional care.
Mitchell returned briefly to give additional instructions regarding the baby’s management and feeding but noticed Jade was already implementing those procedures. He was impressed with her abilities and initiative so did not interrupt. He just wanted to share something with her.
‘Baby Morey’s name is Alina. It apparently means light,’ he told her.
Jade lifted her eyes to meet his smile. A rush of warmth flowed over her. Mitchell was so pleased the baby had a name. It seemed to mean something to him. Jade could tell his happiness at bestowing the name on the baby was genuine. He was genuine. He was a good man. And it scared her that she was starting to only see the good in him.
Quickly, she averted her eyes and returned her focus to Alina.
He might be a good man but she needed to remind herself that she wasn’t looking for a man, good or not. But it was a message that was becoming less audible every minute.
‘Another delivery,’ Alli announced as she wheeled in another tiny patient and transferred the baby to a radiant heat warmer near Jade. ‘This is Liam. Dad’s just scrubbing in, Mum’s still in Recovery. Caesarean delivery, gestational age twenty-nine weeks.’
A few minutes later a very worried-looking man in his late forties arrived. He was still wearing his blue disposable scrubs from Theatre.
‘Over here, Mr Phillips,’ Alli called. ‘Dr Forrester is on his way. Just take a seat beside your son.’
‘Oh, my God, he’s so small,’ the man said anxiously as he looked at the baby lying on a radiant heat warmer. He looked around at the other babies and then back at his own. Jade could see the concern on his face. He was a big man but his fear was almost palpable.
‘Mr Phillips,’ Mitchell said as he approached the newborn, ‘I’m Mitchell Forrester and I’ll be assessing your son.’
Nervously, the man asked, ‘Why isn’t he inside one of those?’ He was pointing to an incubator. ‘Don’t you have enough of them? Wouldn’t that keep him warmer? Shouldn’t he at least have a blanket on him?’
‘There are different levels of care available in Neonatal and it depends on your baby’s needs where he will be placed,’ Mitchell began to explain.