since he’d started his speech. ‘There’s something I do need you to know though. I am nothing like Steven. I would never, ever have done that to you – to anyone,’ he corrected himself, ‘I went to see him straight after and told him exactly what I thought of his actions and his cowardice. We haven’t spoken since.’
‘Oh Rob, no! I never meant for you to fall out with Steven over this. What happened between us shouldn’t affect your friendship. One has nothing to do with the other.’
‘Yes, it does, Izzy. And of course it’s going to affect it. How could it not? He ensured that it would by dumping me right in the middle of it all. And he lied to me. I was supposed to stay over the night before. We were going to go out and get breakfast in the morning then go back to the flat and get ready. Steven cancelled the night before and said he had a really bad headache.’
‘He told me the same thing when I called to say goodnight. He does get bad headaches.’ I obviously wasn’t Steven’s biggest fan right now but I also had a streak of fair play running through me, which forced me to confirm his account and reasons. Annoyingly.
‘Yeah I know. And I know that the nerves might have kicked it off, which is why I didn’t think too much of it. But then he said that he wouldn’t be able to do breakfast the next day either. I asked him why and he just said that he thought it would be better to have a lie in. When I asked him if everything was ok, he said it was. That he just wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to feel bad at the wedding. I took him at his word because I never had reason to doubt him.’
‘What is it that you’re saying?’
‘I’m saying that Steven knew the night before that he wasn’t going to be at that church.’
I looked at Rob. ‘You don’t know that.’ I said, my voice betraying my own uncertainty.
Rob ran a hand over his hair. ‘Yeah, Izz. I do. He told me.’
I couldn’t help the tears that pricked at my eyes, even though I willed them away. Rob noticed anyway.
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘Yes. You should. Please. Just tell me what else you know.’
‘There isn’t much else to tell. He said he’d meet me at the church instead. So, on the day it was getting later and later, and he wasn’t answering his phone. I had all these visions that something awful had happened and was kicking myself for not going round. I was just about to drive over there when he finally picked up and told me that he couldn’t do it. That he just didn’t feel ready to get married.’
‘I never pressured him into getting engaged or setting a date. You have to know that.’
‘No. I know you didn’t.’ Rob took my hand, ‘It wasn’t your fault. None of it. Please don’t ever forget that.’
I smiled at his sincerity.
‘Ok. But you still don’t know that Steven didn’t just panic at the last minute.’ I had no idea whether I was trying to defend Steven – and if so, why. Or if it was that, somehow, being stood up at the last minute was better than the alternative Rob was hinting at.
‘I asked him outright. When I went round there after you’d left.’
I shook my head.
‘I’m sorry, Izz. I guess Steven had changed more than I thought over the years. The bloke I went to uni with would never have acted like that. He would have had the guts to sort it out earlier. And he would have had the guts to tell you himself.’
‘Thereby reducing the chance that you’d be the one to get a fist in the face.’
Rob gave me half a crooked grin, ‘I have to admit, I hadn’t even considered that was a remote possibility until it happened. Perhaps Steven was more canny than I thought. Although he did look pretty shocked when I turned up at his place suitably bloody.’
‘I can imagine.’
‘He thought your dad might have done it.’
‘Dad would never have hit you. He knew you had nothing to do with it. Though, I can’t guarantee he wouldn’t have floored Steven, given the opportunity.’
‘Good to know. But, like I said, maybe I shouldn’t have told you.’
‘No. I’m glad you did. I know this can’t have been easy for you, Rob. And I’m so sorry that it’s caused you to lose a friend.’
‘Yeah. Me too. But I asked him if everything was ok the night before. I gave him the opportunity to tell me then and there. If he had just told me then, I would have understood.’ He pulled a face, ‘Well, understood might be an overstatement. But dealt with it better, at least. There might have been a chance at salvaging the friendship. But not this way. He lied to me. He lied to you. He left you to face everyone. On your own.’
‘I wasn’t on my own.’ I said softly, touching my shoulder against his for a moment, but keeping my face turned away, just until I regained my composure a little more.
‘Izzy. I know it’ll always be hard for you to disassociate me from that day, and I can understand that. I understand if you don’t want to ever see me again but if you’ll permit me to ask one thing of you, it’s that you never lump me together with Steven just because, for one day, we were supposed to wear matching suits.’
I didn’t really know what to say. My throat felt like it was closing up, so even if I’d known what to say, I’m not sure I would have been able to voice it. Instead I just shook my head. I swallowed hard.
‘I promise.’ I replied, eventually.
A brief smile flashed on Rob’s face, not quite hitting his eyes.
‘Ok. Now that’s all sorted, let’s see about getting you home.’
I glanced up at the huge window. There were curtains hanging either side but I doubted Rob ever closed them. With a view like that, I certainly wouldn’t. The snow was still falling and if anything, had only got heavier. When I looked back, Rob had the laptop open and was looking at a couple of different pages showing weather, roads and live traffic updates. His teeth worried his bottom lip as he concentrated.
‘How’s it looking?’ I asked when I couldn’t bear the suspense any longer.
‘Yeah, umm, I think we can work something out.’ He threw me a smile before going back to the computer.
I burst out laughing. Rob turned, his expression a mixture of surprise and confusion.
‘What’s so funny?’ he asked, a smile forming on his face in response to mine.
‘You.’
‘I’m not sure I like the sound of that.’
I grinned again and bumped against his side in jest. ‘You are absolutely the world’s worst liar.’
He pulled a face. ‘I am?’
‘I’m afraid so. But don’t worry. That’s not a bad thing. Actually, it’s a pretty good thing in my book.’ I smiled, honestly. I’d had more than enough of being lied to. And I knew why Rob was trying to cover his fib in this case. He knew I wanted to get home, but I was guessing from his terrible lie that the roads and weather were pretty bad.
‘How do you ever win court cases?’
‘What?’ he asked, a completely bemused look on his face.
‘You do have court cases sometimes, don’t you?’
‘Yes.’ he answered slowly, clearly having no idea where this conversation was going.
‘Well, don’t you have to be able to fool people, and stuff? If your attempt at telling me the roads were fine is anything to go by, I – and don’t take this the wrong way – I don’t think you can be very good at it.’
‘So what