Life ran better when it was organised. If Rod had a personal credo, this would be it. And it was one she wholeheartedly agreed with. There was something extremely reassuring, she had found, about knowing what was happening day to day, and especially longer term. She had known when she met Rod that they were on the same page in that respect. She’d contacted him to see if he would give an interview following the Budget five years ago: his accountancy firm’s take on the effects for local people, that kind of thing. He’d provided her with a projected schedule of costings, a comprehensive overview, and a list of tips for savers that would have got the nod from Martin Lewis. And an offer of dinner that turned into a series of dates that turned into a relationship. His private life was as ordered and planned as his work had been. And she always knew where she was with him. With Rod she had a future that she could count on. He would never disappear on impulse because he fancied a change of scenery.
‘Coming along well at the house, then?’ he said, leaning past her to turn on the extractor hood above the cooker. All mod cons in their new-build rental, nothing like Gran’s inefficient rambling dinosaur of a place. Steam began to curl up from the wok as she added chicken and vegetables to the pan. ‘Good to hear. I called the agent, and if we can get it shipshape we can have the valuation done and it can go on the market as soon as Christmas is out of the way.’
Her stomach gave an involuntary lurch at the thought. What would it feel like to know she was never going to see the old place again? What would it feel like for Gran? She couldn’t expect Rod to feel sentimental. He hadn’t lived there. He hadn’t built dens out of blankets and sticks in the garden in summer. He hadn’t learned to make fairy cakes in the kitchen, which was always warm, no matter what time of the year because of the range cooker. The thought must have shown on her face because Rod put an arm around her shoulders and gave them a reassuring squeeze.
‘We’ve been over this again and again,’ he said gently.
She moved away from him and grabbed a couple of plates from one of the neat cupboards.
‘I know,’ she said through gritted teeth. She served the stir-fry up grimly.
‘It’s the upheaval,’ he went on soothingly. ‘It’s bound to be unsettling. That’s why we need to really consider all the options.’
She knew where this was going.
‘Really, I think a residential facility might be the best possible thing all round.’
He tucked into his rice and chicken, not looking at her while he ate. Just the terminology he used made it sound like a prison.
‘I am not putting Gran in a home,’ she said. ‘I want her with me.’
‘I’m just saying, let’s not rule anything out. You don’t know yet what her recovery is going to be like. Moving in with us, into established routines … it’s bound to be difficult for everyone. I’m only saying, it might be better all round, to leave the care to the professionals.’
Correctly anticipating her next comment would be argumentative, he reached distractingly for the box at the end of the table and pulled it towards him.
‘What’s this?’ he asked.
‘I found them in Gran’s attic,’ Lucy said. ‘I brought them home to show you.’
He lifted the lid of the box and took out one of the wrapped decorations at random. A perfectly carved and painted top hat. Ten lords a-leaping, she thought automatically.
‘Nice,’ he said indifferently, putting it back and resuming eating.
‘It’s a set of Christmas tree decorations. I think they might be antique.’
‘One missing,’ he remarked, pointing to the space in the middle of the box with a chopstick. ‘Incomplete set, so it won’t be worth much. Honestly, Lucy, just whack all this tat on eBay. Whatever you get for it will be a bonus, the main thing is to crack on and get the place cleared. We need to get the house ready for the family. This is the first year we’ve done the Carmichael Christmas, and we are going to be the best.’
Christmas was the pinnacle of one-upmanship in the Carmichael family. Rod was the middle child of five overachieving siblings. Last Christmas, as run by eldest sister Josephine, had involved a professionally decorated house in St John’s Wood, a champagne breakfast, three different kinds of roast meat, and a children’s entertainer. The year before that, his uber-successful stockbroker brother Don and family had rented a cabin in the Lake District for a no-tech, no-phone-signal, back-to-tradition Christmas that had filled the teenage family members with despair, featuring log fires and mulled wine and carol singing around a piano, and family games and frosty walks in the stunning countryside. This year, Lucy was hostess, and Rod’s expectations set the bar extremely high. She needed enough food to feed hordes of people, there were rooms to get ready, Christmas decorations to put up, a festive day to deliver that would impress or at the very least not disappoint his bloody perfect family.
No pressure.
‘We’ve got the works’ Christmas drinks coming up,’ he carried on, as if what she really needed now was a shedload more stress, ‘and we need to focus and make a decent impression. This promotion would be a big step towards partnership, and decisions will probably be made in the next couple of weeks even if they’re not announced until the New Year. Eye on the prize.’
Her place was at his side during work social functions. The accountancy firm was family run, and Rod liked to fit in with that image, no impression was too much trouble in the path towards partnership. She liked it. She liked being part of a couple. And of course, by implication, his future was also her future. She pulled the box back towards her, and he caught her hand in his. She looked up at him.
‘I know you’re under a lot of stress, honey,’ he said. ‘I’m right behind you, I really am. I just meant that it’s easy to lose sight of your own goals in a situation like this. It’s important for Olive that you and I keep ourselves grounded, so we can support her and stay organised and in control. Especially with Christmas, my family, and all the extra stuff that brings with it.’
‘I know, I know.’
He squeezed her hand, pressing the point.
‘Who knows what could happen if this promotion comes through? With all my family in our home, it would be the perfect time to make special announcements.’
He winked at her. She squinted back. Had he just used a plural? Was he hinting that more than promotion could be on the cards?
‘The best thing to do is just get this clearance done and out of the way as quickly as possible,’ he swept on. ‘Like ripping off a plaster. Then we can absolutely do what’s best for Olive.’ He held up a hand as she opened her mouth to protest against yet another predicted mention of care homes. ‘And that includes her moving in with us if that’s truly the best option. We just need to stay objective.’
She felt a rush of love for him, and a spike of excitement at what was surely a hint about popping the question. Wasn’t it? He really was committed to her, he had her best interests at heart, she was just being oversensitive. And he did have a point. Christmas was her favourite part of the year, she had been looking forward to spending time getting the house to look perfect, and all the preparation associated with it. Cooking ahead, making plans. She really hadn’t made the slightest dent in that yet. And if Gran was able to come out of hospital for Christmas – and she really hadn’t given up hope of that – Lucy wanted everything to be perfect for her. She had to keep focused. Gran had to be the priority here, and if she let every bit of history in that attic distract her, she’d still be sorting out the house clearance next bloody Christmas.
‘No need to worry,’ she said. ‘You’re completely right. I’ll storm through the house tomorrow, and then I’m going to visit Gran in hospital and check on her progress, see if I can get some information out of the doctors about when we might be able to bring her home.’
She closed the lid on the box of decorations and shelved