don’t know me.” And she didn’t want to think about how well he’d once known her. She didn’t want to think about the way he’d touched her, kissed her and made her feel alive. “So why are you back in the area?” Brittany tried to remember what Nik had said about his friend. “You’re living in Bar Harbor?”
“No. I have a client who has a place at Bar Harbor. I’m living on Puffin Island.”
It was the worst news possible. “You’re living here now?”
“Is that going to give you a problem?”
It was going to give her a big problem.
After their relationship had gone south, she’d retreated to Castaway Cottage and watched the sun rise and set over beautiful Shell Bay. With the help of her grandmother, and later her friends, she’d pieced herself back together. She’d traveled the world, but still regarded Puffin Island as her home.
Her home, not his.
Finding him here was like discovering a fly on your food. It felt contaminated.
“We haven’t seen each other in ten years, Zach. You’re not part of my life and I’m not part of yours. I don’t give a damn where you live.”
As long as it’s not on my island.
“You’re sure?” His gaze was steady on hers. “Plenty of women would be bearing a grudge.”
“Because you walked out on me ten days after our wedding?” She managed a laugh. “You did us both a favor by ending it when you did. Instead of throwing my whole life away, I threw away a few weeks. I don’t begrudge you a few weeks, Zach.”
“It was a whole summer.”
“I wasn’t counting.” She’d counted every day. Every hour. “And talking of counting, my friend is paying you big bucks to fly me to the island so let’s do it. I’d hate for him to fire you.”
“I don’t work for him, I work for myself. I decide when I fly. I pick the jobs and the people.” Something flickered in his eyes. “Taking orders isn’t one of my strengths. You should know that.”
She did know that. And she no longer cared enough to make excuses for his bad behavior.
The details of his past were hazy, and that haze had succeeded in fueling the rumors. Rumors of an abusive childhood, of a life where the law turned up at the door more often than the mailman, of a boy who had moved from one place to another, never sticking. Those rumors had flown around the island and a few people who had never before locked their doors had started locking them whenever Zach had shown up as part of the scholarship program at Camp Puffin.
He’d come back every summer and stayed the whole time. As a result he became a familiar figure on the island.
His background had made him a suspect for every crime committed, something that had outraged teenage Brittany, who had a strong sense of justice and believed everyone was innocent until proven guilty. It had frustrated her that he’d been indifferent to people’s unflattering assumptions.
Even when he’d finally moved in with Philip and Celia Law, he still hadn’t been entirely free of suspicion.
“I’m tired,” she croaked. “It’s been a long journey, so why don’t you do whatever it is you do to make this thing fly and take me to Puffin Island.”
For a brief, unsettling moment she thought he was going to say something else. Then he handed her a headset, turned and strolled to the pilot’s seat, casual and relaxed.
Brittany tried to relax, too.
The sooner he took the controls, the sooner this whole awkward encounter would be over.
Except that now her life was in his hands. As someone who liked to be in control of her own destiny, it didn’t feel good. It was hard to forget what he’d done with her heart when she’d trusted him with that.
She remembered overhearing Philip telling her grandmother that Zach was the most gifted pilot he’d ever taught, but that his brilliance could easily slip over the line into reckless and wild. He was fearless, or maybe it was just that an unspeakable childhood had set his bar for fear higher than most people’s.
Exhausted, her wrist throbbing, Brittany swallowed. She knew all about reckless and wild. She’d been both those things when she’d been with him.
Watching him slide into the pilot’s seat, she felt her heart bump hard against her ribs.
He’d said he’d fly the devil as long as he was paid, but she knew the devil was already in the plane.
And he had his hands on the controls.
“I SHOULD HAVE warned you.” Emily hauled Brittany’s suitcase into the cottage, maneuvering it over the blue-and-white-striped rug that welcomed visitors to the beach hideaway. The colors had faded over the years but the familiarity of it was as soothing as hot soup on a cold day.
“How could you have warned me?”
“Sky and I saw him a few weeks ago. We decided as you weren’t here you didn’t need to know. We assumed he’d be long gone before you came home. If you hadn’t broken your wrist, you wouldn’t have known.”
“Don’t you believe it. This is Puffin Island. I would have heard about it the moment I stepped off the ferry. There are no secrets in this place. Although somehow I missed the fact you’ve moved out of the cottage. Tell me the details.”
“Later. Let’s unload the car first.”
Brittany walked through to the kitchen. The sun flooded in from the garden, bouncing light across the room. For a moment she saw her grandmother, standing in front of the stove, humming as she stirred and tasted.
One blink and the image vanished, but the ache in her chest remained.
Everything looked the same. The jars of brightly colored sea glass collected on trips to the beach, the hurricane lamp and strangely shaped piece of driftwood Brittany had found washed up on the shore as a child. Everything was as it should be, each piece part of the jigsaw that created a picture of her childhood.
The only gap was the one left by her grandmother.
She missed her all the time, but never more so than now. He’s back, Grams, and I don’t know what to do.
Emily followed her into the room. “I put your case in the bedroom. It weighs a ton. Please tell me it’s not full of Bronze Age weapons.”
“That case contains my life. A bit sad that I can cram it all into one suitcase.” But she knew her grandmother wouldn’t have agreed. People, experiences, those are the things of real value, Brittany.
She slumped on the kitchen chair, exhausted from the journey and the stress of keeping up the pretense of indifference in front of Zach. The worst thing was that she didn’t want it to be pretense. She wanted to feel indifference and it worried her that she didn’t.
How could seeing a man who had walked out on her without a backward glance make her feel weak at the knees? “Do you know what’s crazy about all this? I’m over him. I really am. I know people say that, but I mean it. So why am I feeling like this?” She ran her hand over her face and Emily walked across and gave her a hug.
“Anyone would be unsettled to meet their ex after such a long time, especially after the relationship ended the way yours did. And on top of that you’re jet-lagged and in pain. What you’re feeling is totally normal. Don’t overthink it, Brittany.”
“I’m not.” It was a lie and both of them knew it. “My relationship with him was the one big failure of my life and I hate failing.