wanted him out of her life. He would be happy to accommodate her. “Yes, but not until you’re out of the hospital.”
Leaving her alone until then wouldn’t be right.
“Thank you.” Her voice dropped to a mere whisper. “Thanks for being here. This had to have messed up your schedule.”
Sarah’s unexpected sincerity curled around his heart and squeezed tight, like a hug. He shifted his weight between his feet. “My schedule doesn’t matter.”
Her gaze met his with an intensity he knew well. She might look bruised and battered, even broken, but intelligence and strength shone in the depths of her eyes. Her eyes were what he’d noticed first about her when they’d met over morning coffee at a campfire. He wanted to look away, but couldn’t.
“Your schedule matters,” she countered. “It always has before.”
“I don’t want you to be alone.” That much was true. “You’re still my wife.”
Her face paled. “My fault. I’ve been so busy at the institute I never followed through on my end with the divorce. I’m sorry. I’ll have to get on that.”
After bringing up a divorce, she’d been too busy slogging up and down Mount Baker in the name of research to file the marriage-dissolution paperwork. He’d contacted an attorney. He rubbed the back of his neck. “No need.”
Her eyes widened. Her lips parted. “What do you mean?”
A part of him wanted to get back at Sarah, to hurt her the way she’d hurt him.
You’re a great guy. You’ll make some woman a fantastic husband. But our eloping was impulsive. I acted rashly and didn’t think about what I was doing. Or what would be best for you. I’m not it. You deserve a wife who can give you the things you want. Things I can’t give you.
Correction. Things she didn’t want to give him.
Regret rose like bile in his throat. “I knew you were busy, so once I established residency in Oregon I got things started there.”
“Oh.” Her gaze never wavered from his. “Okay.”
It felt anything but okay to him. The knots in his stomach tightened. His throat constricted. He’d had their entire future planned out. A house, pets, kids. And now…
Putting Mount Rainier, Mount St. Helens, Mount Adams and Mount Hood between Sarah and him had never appealed to Cullen more. “I’ll go see if your doctor is around so we…you…can find out when you might be discharged.”
He strode toward the door without waiting for her reply.
“Is it okay to get out of bed and use the bathroom?” Sarah asked.
Cullen stopped, cursing under his breath. He needed to help Sarah. But the last thing he wanted was to touch her, to hold her. What if he didn’t want to let go?
With a calming breath, he glanced over his shoulder. “Yes, but not on your own. I’ll grab a nurse and be right back.”
Cullen exited the room. He could have hit the button to call the nurse, but he needed some distance, if only for as long as it took him to reach the nurses’ station.
He would let the nurse determine the best way to get Sarah on her feet. If he was pressed into service, so be it. But he hoped the nurse was one of the practical types who would handle things herself.
The less he had to do with Sarah until her release, the better.
Sarah washed her hands in the bathroom sink.
A blond nurse named Natalie hovered nearby. The woman wore blue scrubs, and never stopped talking or smiling. “After surgery and pain meds, it takes a while for your system to get back to normal. But you’re doing great already!”
Heat rose in Sarah’s cheeks. She wasn’t used to being congratulated for using the toilet. Maybe when she was a kid, but knowing her parents, she doubted it. At least Natalie had given her some privacy. And it sure beat having Cullen help her, even though he was stationed outside the door.
Don’t think about him.
She dried her hands, wishing every movement didn’t take so much effort or hurt so much. “Um, thanks. I’m not used to going to the bathroom being a community event.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. This is nothing compared to labor and delivery,” Natalie said. “There’s no room for modesty there.”
Sarah couldn’t imagine. Nor did she want to. Given she had no desire to marry again, she doubted she would ever set foot into labor and delivery. Unlike Cullen. If ever a man was meant to be a father…
An ache deep in her belly grabbed hold of her, like a red-tailed hawk’s talons around his prey, and wouldn’t let go. She struggled to breathe.
Her incision. Maybe her ribs. She leaned against the sink to allow the pain to pass.
Natalie placed a hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “Sit on the toilet.”
A knock sounded. “Need help?”
Cullen’s voice stopped whatever had been hurting. Sarah straightened. “I’m fine.”
Natalie adjusted the back of the gown. “Let’s get you back before Dr. Gray gets on me for keeping you away too long. Doctor hubbies are the worst, since they’re sure they know what’s best for their wives.”
Maybe some doctors, not Cullen. He’d looked as if he wanted to bolt earlier. She didn’t blame him. This was the height of awkwardness for both of them.
Natalie opened the bathroom door. “Here she is, Dr. Gray.”
Sarah shuffled out of the bathroom. She felt each step. An ache. A pain. A squeezing sensation. Nausea, too.
Cullen held his arms out slightly, but he wasn’t spotting her as closely as before. Dark circles under his eyes and stubble on his face made her wonder how much sleep he’d been getting. Not much, by the looks of it. But he was still the most handsome man she’d ever seen. That bothered her. She shouldn’t be thinking about her future ex-husband that way. Maybe it was the pain medication.
“You’re walking better.” He sounded pleased.
A burst of pride shot through her. “Just needed to find my legs.”
“It’s awful when they go missing,” Natalie joked. “The two of you should take a short walk down the hall and back. Sarah needs exercise.”
Excitement spurted through Sarah. She would love to get out of this room.
Cullen’s lips narrowed. He didn’t look as if he wanted to go anywhere with her.
Disappointment shot straight to the tips of her toes, even though she knew he had every right to feel that way. Why would he want to spend more time with her than he absolutely had to? She’d hurt his pride by bringing up a divorce. As if shutting her out of every part of his life outside the bedroom hadn’t hurt her. But she’d had to do something. It was only a matter of time before he left her. She’d saved them from suffering more hurt in the future.
“You should be walking a few times each day,” Cullen said.
Of course he had to say that. He was a doctor. But he’d done enough. She wasn’t about to force him into escorting her.
Sarah padded toward the window. “I’ll parade around the room. This gown isn’t made for walking in public unless I want to flash the entire floor.”
“I doubt anyone would complain.” Cullen’s lighthearted tone surprised her. “Especially not Elmer, the eighty-four-year-old patient two doors down.”
Natalie laughed. “Elmer would appreciate it. He’s such a dirty old man. But I’m sure you wouldn’t mind too much yourself, Dr. Gray.”
Cullen