Melanie Milburne

Sydney Harbour Hospital: Lexi's Secret


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one knew about the baby.

      No one.

      At least that secret was safe.

      But everything else was out there for everyone to pick over like crows on a rotting carcass. All the intimate details of her brief relationship with Sam would be fodder, grist for the mill of gossip that SHH was renowned for. She would be painted as the Scarlet Woman, the scandalous Lolita who had lured Sam away from his studies at the most pivotal moment in his career.

      ‘Lexi?’

      Lexi pulled in a breath and faced her sister. ‘It was five years ago,’ she said. ‘Hopefully no one will even remember what happened back then.’

      Bella looked doubtful. ‘I still think you should tell Matthew.’

      ‘I will tell him,’ Lexi said, breaking out into a sweat. ‘I’ll tell him it was a stupid little fling that meant nothing.’

      Bella chewed at her lip for a moment. ‘Is this the first time you’ve seen Sam since you broke up?’ she asked.

      ‘No, I ran into him in the doctors’ car park on my way to see you,’ Lexi said, raking a distracted hand through her hair. ‘That’ll teach me for breaking the rules. I won’t park there ever again. Cross my heart and—’ She stopped and gave Bella an apologetic grimace as her hand dropped back by her side. ‘Sorry, bad choice of words.’

      Bella continued to look at her with a concerned frown on her face. ‘You’re not happy about seeing him again, are you?’ she said.

      Lexi lifted her shoulders in a couldn’t-care-less manner. ‘It’s always a little difficult running into ex-partners. It’s part of the dating life. Once a relationship ends you don’t always end up the best of friends.’

      ‘Not that I would know anything about the dating life …’ Bella said as she fiddled with the edge of the sheet covering her thin little body.

      Lexi sighed and reached for Bella’s small, cold hand. ‘You’re being so wonderfully brave about all this,’ she said. ‘If it was me I’d be terrified.’

      ‘I am terrified,’ Bella said. ‘I want what you have. I want a life. I want to one day get married and have babies.’

      Lexi felt her insides clench like the snap of a rabbit trap. That aching sadness gripped her every time she thought of the baby she could have had if things had been different. It was ironic that Matthew was keen to start a family as soon as they were married. His parents were excited at the prospect of becoming grandparents. But she had come to dread the topic every time he raised it. It wasn’t the only thing she argued with him about. Her lack of interest in sex had become a huge issue over the last few months of their engagement. Matthew’s trip abroad, she suspected, were his attempts to make her heart grow fonder in his absence. She didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t working. She missed him certainly, but not in the way he most wanted her to.

      ‘I’ll be the only Lockheart sister left childless and lonely on the shelf,’ Bella continued to bemoan.

      ‘Is Evie seeing someone?’ Lexi asked feeling a little piqued that she hadn’t been told by Evie herself. ‘I was under the impression there’s been no one since she broke things off with Stuart … what was it? Two years ago?’

      ‘I heard one of the nurses talking about Evie and Finn Kennedy,’ Bella said.

      Lexi laughed. ‘Finn Kennedy? Are you out of your mind? He’s the last person I would have picked for Evie. He’s so grumpy and brooding. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile.’

      ‘He’s very kind to patients,’ Bella said in his defence. ‘And he’s smiled at me lots of times.’

      ‘In my opinion Finn Kennedy has a chip on his shoulder that it’d take an industrial crane to shift,’ Lexi said. ‘I hope to goodness Evie knows what she’s doing. The last thing we need in the Lockheart family is another difficult person to deal with.’

      There was a small silence.

      ‘Has Mum been in to see you?’ Lexi asked.

      Bella’s shoulders slumped a little further as she shook her head. ‘You know what she’s like …’

      Lexi gave Bella’s hand another little squeeze. ‘I wish I could change places with you, Bells,’ she said sincerely. ‘I hate seeing you suffer … I hate the thought of losing you.’

      Bella gave her a wobbly smile. ‘I guess that’s in Sam Bailey’s hands now, isn’t it?’

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