Stephanie hadn’t let herself warm to anyone yet.
“So, Robbie didn’t want to go with his group after driving to the preschool with Gina talking his ear off,” Claire said. “Gina’s my daughter,” she said for Stephanie’s benefit. “He looks so cute in his glasses. When did he get them?”
Phil grinned. “Beats me, but I found them in his things, so I talked him into wearing them.”
“See, you’re a natural.”
He refilled half of his mug. “That’ll be the day. Two nights, and I’m already planning to scope him for that cough of his. How does Roma manage?”
“Like all mothers. We follow our instincts. Give it a try.” Claire winked at Stephanie, as if they belonged to the same secret sorority. If Claire only knew how wrong she was.
Stephanie took another swallow of coffee, wishing she could fade into the woodwork.
“Do you have any kids?” Claire asked.
“No.” Stephanie couldn’t say it fast enough. She stared deeply into her coffee, trying her best to compose herself. Phil watched her. “Well, I’d better prepare for my first patient. I have a lot to live up to, filling René’s shoes.” She reheated her coffee and started for the door, needing to get far away from all the talk of children. Maybe it had been a mistake coming here, but she’d committed herself for the next two months, and she’d live up to her promise.
“You’ll do fine,” Phil said with a reassuring smile. “I’ve got to take off, too. Need to make a run to the hospital this morning.”
She peeked over her shoulder. He stopped and poured the rest of his coffee into the sink, then glanced at Stephanie. Eye contact with Phil was the last thing she wanted, so she flicked her gaze toward her shoes. What must he think of her and her crazy behavior? But, more importantly, why did she care?
On her way out the door she passed the cardiologist, Jon Becker, and nodded. He gave a stately nod then headed for the counter and the nearly empty coffee pot.
“Hey,” he said. “I made the coffee and now all I get is half a cup?”
Hunching her shoulders, Stephanie took a surreptitious sip from her mug and slunk down the hall. How many more bad first impressions was she going to make?
“Make a full pot next time,” she heard Claire say. “Quit being so task oriented,” she chided, more as if to a family member than a business colleague. “If you’re going to be a stay-at-home dad, you need to think like a nurturer.”
“Claire, all I wanted was a cup of coffee, not a feminist lecture on thinking for the group.”
Stephanie couldn’t resist it. A smile stretched across her lips, the first one in two days. Jon looked at least forty, and he was going to be a stay-at-home dad?
She’d been so isolated over the past three years, and had no idea how to have a simple conversation with coworkers. Maybe it was time to make an effort to be friendly, like every other normal human being.
A familiar negative tidal wave moved swiftly and blanketed her with doubt.
You don’t deserve to be alive. She could practically hear her ex-husband’s voice repeating the cutting words.
On her way back to the extended-stay hotel that night, Stephanie realized how famished she was. On a whim, she stopped at a decent-looking Japanese restaurant for some takeout.
After placing her order, she sat primly on the edge of one of the sushi bar stools. She sipped green tea, and glanced around. Down the aisle, there was Robbie, grains of rice stuck to his beaming face like 3-D freckles. Across from the boy, with his back to her, sat Phil. A jolt of nerves cut through her as she hoped Robbie wouldn’t recognize her. He might start crying again. How soon could she get her order and sneak out? Just as she thought it, as if sending a mental tap to his shoulder, Phil turned and saw her, flashed a look of surprise, then waved her over.
She couldn’t very well pretend she hadn’t seen him. She waved tentatively back then shook her head as Phil’s ever-broadening gesture to join them was accompanied by a desperate look.
Be strong. He’s the one babysitting. It’s not your responsibility.
He stood, made an even more pronounced gesture with pleading eyes.
The guy begged, but she couldn’t budge. She shook her head and mouthed, “Sorry.” He might think she was the most unfriendly woman he’d ever met, but no way was she ready to sit down with them, as if they were some little happy family. No. She couldn’t. It would be unbearable.
She avoided Phil’s disappointed gaze by finishing her tea.
Fortunately, the sushi chef handed her the order. After she paid for the food, she grabbed the package, tossed Phil one last regretful look, and left.
Strike two.
Stephanie walked her last patient of the morning to the door. The lady hugged her as if they were old friends. One of the things she loved about her job was telling people they were pregnant.
“Have you got all the information you need?”
The young woman’s head bobbed.
“Any more questions?”
“I’m sure I’ve got a million of them, but I can’t think of anything right now except…I’m pregnant!” She clapped her hands.
Stephanie laughed. “Well, be sure to write all those questions down and we’ll go through them next time.”
“I will, Doctor. Thanks again.” The woman gave her a second hug.
Stephanie waved goodbye, and with a smile on her face watched as her patient floated on air when she left the clinic.
“I was about to accuse you of being heartless, but I’ve changed my mind now,” Phil chided.
Stephanie blushed. She knew exactly what he referred to.
“How are things going with Robbie?” her nurse asked Phil in passing.
“Just dandy,” he said, with a wry smile. “I finally figured out it’s a lot less messy to take him into the shower with me instead of bathing him in the tub by himself.”
The nurse giggled. “I can only imagine.”
Stephanie fought the image his description implanted in her mind, obviously the same one Amy had. He seemed to be a nice guy. Everyone liked him. Adored him. The fact that he was billboard gorgeous, even with ever-darkening circles under his eyes, should be a plus, but it intimidated her. And after the way she’d treated him and Robbie, she didn’t have a clue why he kept coming around.
“You doing anything for lunch today?” he asked.
Could she handle an entire lunch with this guy? “Why would you want to take me to lunch?”
“Why not? You’re new in town, probably don’t know your way around…”
His cell phone went off, saving her from answering him.
“Cripes!” he said. “Hold on a sec.” He held up one finger and answered his phone.
After a brief conversation, he hung up with a dejected look. “Evidently Robbie got pushed by another kid and skinned his knees.” He scratched his head, a look of bewilderment in his eyes. “He’s crying and asking for me, so…”
“It’s a big job being a stand-in dad, isn’t it?”
“You’re telling me. Hey, I have an idea, why don’t we have lunch tomorrow?”
Swept up by the whole package that was Phil, including the part of fumbling stand-in dad, she answered without thinking. “Sure.”
The next day, at noon, Stephanie found Phil standing at her door wearing another expression of