her, and she had fallen into a more peaceful rest, he’d lain awake, staring at the ceiling as he realized the impossibility of their situation.
Careful not to wake Marley, he showered and dressed. After checking to make sure she hadn’t been disturbed, he went quietly down the stairs. He bypassed his office, though it was his custom to begin the day with business matters.
This morning something drove him to the beach where Marley so often visited. The air was chilly blowing off the water, but he took no notice as he stood watching the waves break and slide into shore.
Marley’s past, their past, threatened her in sleep. Her memories waged war at her most unguarded moments, and what would he do when it all came back?
The terrible conflict that ate at him was wearing him down. He should be angry, and at times he was. But it was also easy to forget. Here on the island, safeguarded from the rest of the world, it was easy to pretend that it was just him and Marley and their unborn child. No past betrayals, no lies, no deceit.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and bowed his head in resignation. Never before in his business or personal life had he felt so out of control, so indecisive. Could he forgive her for trying to destroy him and his brothers? That was the million-dollar question, because if he couldn’t, they had no future. When she remembered, things would irrevocably change, and he could either hold on to the acid taste of betrayal, or he could forge ahead and offer his forgiveness.
Theos mou, but he didn’t have the answer. He didn’t know if he had it in him to be so generous. He wanted her, no question. He was drawn to her, even knowing her sins. She was pregnant with his son, but could he honestly say that if she weren’t pregnant, he could so easily cast her aside?
Small arms circled his waist, and a warm body burrowed against his back. He looked down to see Marley’s hands clasped around his middle, and he brought his up to cover hers automatically.
She hugged him tightly, and he could feel her cheek pressed against his spine. She felt…right.
Slowly he eased her hands away so that he could turn in her arms. She looked up at him with warm and welcoming eyes before she dove into his arms and nuzzled against his chest.
“Good morning,” he said, unable to prevent the surge of desire from racing through his body.
“I stopped by your office but didn’t find you. I was worried,” she said as she pulled away.
He cocked his head. “Worried?”
“You’re never not in your office,” she said lightly. “And then I couldn’t find you anywhere in the house. I thought…I thought you might have left.”
He ran his hands up to her shoulders and squeezed reassuringly. “I wouldn’t leave without telling you, pedhaki mou.” Was he so distant, so caught up in his efforts to avoid her that this was what she thought of him? If she did think so, he could hardly blame her. Between Mrs. Cahill and Dr. Karounis, he’d erected a veritable arsenal of people to put between them.
“Would you like to take a walk with me?” she asked. “I always walk on the beach in the mornings when you’re working. That is, if you aren’t too busy?”
He caught her hand and brought it to his lips. “I’m not too busy for you and our child. But should you be resting?”
An exasperated shriek left her lips, startling him with her ferocity. She yanked her hand from him and parked both of her fists on her hips.
“Do I look like I need to be resting?” Anger and disappointment burned in her eyes. “Look, Chrysander, if you don’t want to spend time with me, just say so, but stop throwing out your pat ‘You need to be resting’ line.”
She turned and stalked farther down the beach, leaving him there feeling like she’d punched him in the stomach. He ran a hand through his hair as he watched her hurry away, and then he strode after her, his feet kicking up sand as he closed the distance between them.
“Marley! Marley, wait,” he called as he caught her elbow.
When he turned her around, he was gutted by the tears streaking down her cheeks. She turned her face away and swiped blindly at her eyes with her other hand.
“Please, just go away,” she choked out. “Go do whatever it is you do with your time. I’ll wait for my appointment with you in the afternoon.”
It came out bitter and full of hurt, and he realized that he hadn’t fooled her at all with the distance he put between them.
He reached for her chin and gently tugged until she faced him. With his thumb, he wiped at a tear that slipped over her cheekbone.
“You aren’t an appointment, Marley.”
“No?” She yanked away from his touch and retreated a few feet until there was a respectable distance between them. “I’ve tried to be patient and understanding even though I don’t understand any of it. Us. You or even me. I can’t figure you out, Chrysander, and I’m tired of trying. I’ve tried to be strong and undemanding, but I can’t do it anymore. I’m scared to death. I don’t know who I am. I wake up one day to find myself pregnant, and there’s a stranger by my bed who says he’s my fiancé and the father of my child. One would think this would tell me that at least I was loved and cherished, but nothing you’ve done has made me feel anything but confusion. You run hot and cold, and I never know which one to expect. I can’t do this.”
Coldness wrapped around Chrysander’s chest, squeezing until he couldn’t draw a breath. “What are you saying?” he demanded.
She looked at him tiredly. “Why are you marrying me? Is it just because of the baby?”
He frowned, not liking the corner she was backing him into. “You’re tired and overwrought. We should go back in and continue this conversation where it’s warm—”
She cut him off with a furious hand. “I am not tired. I am not overwrought, and I want you to stop with the overprotective hovering. I don’t even buy that you’re that concerned, only that it’s a convenient barrier you can hide behind when I start asking questions.”
He opened his mouth to refute her words but then paused. He couldn’t very well deny it when it was true. Still, he had no desire for her to become distraught. Surely that couldn’t be good for the baby.
“What in my past am I so afraid of?” she whispered. “Last night terrified me. I woke this morning with a feeling of such fear, and not because I can’t remember, but because I’m afraid to remember.”
She stared earnestly at him, her eyes pleading.
“Tell me, Chrysander. I need to know. What were we like before? How did we meet? Were we very in love?”
He turned toward the water and shoved his hands back into his pockets. “You worked for me,” he said gruffly.
She moved beside him, not touching him. But she was close enough that he could feel the soft hiccups of her breaths.
“I did? At your hotel?”
He shook his head. “In the corporate offices. You were my assistant.”
She looked at him in shock. “But Roslyn is your assistant, and she seems awfully comfortable in that role. Like she’s been there for years.”
He offered a small smile. “You weren’t my assistant for long. I was too intent on having you in my bed. I convinced you to quit and move in with me. You were too much of a distraction for me at work.”
She didn’t look pleased by his statement. A worried frown worked over her face, and her lips turned down into a dissatisfied moue.
“So you’ve made it a practice to put me where it’s most convenient for you,” she murmured.
He cursed softly under his breath, but again, he couldn’t very well deny that he’d been intent on having his way