tape a little.
“Jenna,” she said again. “I want you to date Jenna—”
He had heard correctly.
“…I think you’ll fall in love with her and marry her. I want you to marry her.”
Grant started to hit Rewind again when he heard the back door open. He glanced up at the clock on the built-in bookshelves beside the TV. It was eight o’clock. Almost bedtime for the girls.
He heard five-year-old Maddy’s sweet little voice, and he clicked the VCR off, then the power to the TV.
“Dad? Dad you here?” came his eleven-year-old Becka’s voice.
He could hear light switches clicking on. Light from the kitchen suddenly poured into the hallway, reaching the den.
Grant got to his feet, torn between what Ally had said on the tape and his daughter’s voice. “Here. I’m in here.” He gripped the molding around the doorway as he stepped into the hall.
“Daddy!” Maddy ran into his arms. “Jenna got me another roll of gauze. You know I need gauze to wraps legs and stuff.”
Grant gave pigtailed Maddy a big hug. She smelled of chocolate syrup and baby shampoo. He still used it on her hair because it didn’t sting her eyes. Maddy wanted to be a vet when she grew up and she was always caring for patients, animate and inanimate. Every stuffed animal in the house had yards of gauze, tape, even toilet paper, wrapped around arms, legs and heads. His oldest daughter, Hannah, said it freaked her out to go into Maddy and Becka’s room at night and see all of the animal mummies.
“Hey, Dad, Jenna found me some knee socks to match my uniform,” Becka said, dropping a department store bag on the kitchen table.
“Hey ya, Dad.” Hannah walked into the kitchen through the back door.
Last in the door was Jenna. Grant had seen Jenna a thousand times, maybe a million. They had been friends since their freshman year of college. Jenna had introduced Ally to him at a football tailgate party. But suddenly he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
Jenna was nothing like petite, blond Ally. Jenna was tall with long red hair that Ally had always said was strawberry blond. She wasn’t heavy, but she wasn’t thin either. Curvy, that was a good word. Jenna was curvy with hips and breasts. Ally had always had a very athletic build, even after bearing and breastfeeding three children.
Jenna’s eyes were green. Green with brown speckles. Her face was freckled and her mouth was…well it was sensuous, full pink lips, a tongue that darted when she spoke fast. And it seemed that Jenna was always talking fast.
“Hi,” she called from the doorway, carrying in more bags. “Sorry we didn’t get in sooner, but Becka needed the socks, Maddy wanted the four-inch gauze, not the two-inch, so we had to go to three drugstores and—”
“It was my fault, Dad.” Hannah walked past him, giving him a peck on the cheek as she went by. “I wanted that new Chili Peppers CD and Jenna ran me all over town looking for it.” She stopped in the hallway. “I’m going up to finish my homework. ’Night, Dad. ’Night, Jenna, thanks.”
Becka rummaged through the bags Jenna was laying on the table, grabbed two, heaved her backpack onto her shoulder again, and walked by him. “Homework’s done, ’night, Dad. ’Night, Jenna. Thanks for the cool stuff.” She waited in the kitchen doorway. “Come on, Maddy. It’s jammy time if you want Daddy to read the next chapter of Harry Potter.”
“Harry Potter,” Maddy said, a bandaged moose tucked under her armpit. “I love Harry. I’m going to marry him.”
“You can’t marry him,” Becka said leading her sister down the hall. “It’s like Dad. You can’t marry your father, and you can’t marry a make-believe person in a make-believe book.”
Grant lifted his gaze to look at Jenna as he realized they were the only two left in the room. She was opening the refrigerator. “I stopped and got milk because Hannah thought you were low.” She slid the gallon of skim milk onto a shelf and closed the door. She was wearing a dark purple raincoat over a sweater, long, flowered skirt and boots. Her hair was pulled back in a long ponytail, but little wisps had escaped the rubber band to curl around her face. For some reason, those curly wisps suddenly fascinated him.
Jenna met Grant’s gaze. “You okay?” she said softly.
He glanced at the floor feeling silly. “I’m okay.”
“You sure, because I know…” She took a breath and then went on. “I know it’s your anniversary. That was why I thought tonight might be a good night to get this shopping over with.” She started for the door.
He walked toward the door to see her out, Ally’s words tumbling in his head.
Date Jenna? Ally wanted him to date Jenna. She wanted him to marry her.
She opened the door. “Well, if you don’t need anything else, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“No.”
She looked at him.
He shook his head. “I mean, no, I don’t need anything else. Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He offered a sheepish smile, having no clue what he was thinking or why he felt such confusion.
“’Night,” Jenna said.
“Good night,” he called.
Grant locked the back door, flipped off the lights again, and went upstairs to tuck his two youngest girls into bed. He read the next chapter of the fourth book in the Harry Potter series and then kissed his girls good-night. As he passed Hannah’s closed door, he called, “Good night.”
“’Night, Dad.”
Downstairs, Grant went to the dark den again. Light from the hallway illuminated the table beside his chair and the cold macaroni and cheese. He sat down and took a sip of the wine. He stared at the dark TV screen.
Ally wanted him to marry Jenna? The thought was ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. It was preposterous.
And then he thought of what else she had said. About him, about the way he was living.
He was lonely. He hated to admit it, but Ally was right. He was lonely and he missed his wife in a million ways, but mostly he just missed her being here. He thought that his job and his daughters would be enough to make him happy or at least content, but they weren’t. He’d known that for months now. Something was missing from his life. Someone.
Grant didn’t know how long he’d sat in the dark staring at the TV when he heard footsteps on the staircase.
“Dad?” Hannah called.
“In here.”
She stuck her head in the doorway. Hannah was pretty like her mother with silky blond hair she wore pulled back in a short ponytail and hazel eyes that sparkled when she laughed. “You sitting in the dark again?” she grumbled.
He didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.
“Thinking about Mom?” she said in a quieter tone. “I know. I was thinking about her today, too. It was your anniversary.”
Grant was touched that she remembered. “I miss her,” he said, realizing that he didn’t feel the same sadness he had once felt when he talked about Ally. It seemed that what people said was true. Most of the pain and sadness had passed. Now there were just a lot of memories in his head that made him smile.
Hannah leaned in the doorway. “Me, too.” She glanced up. “But you know, Dad, she’s been gone two years. You think maybe it’s time you stop sitting in the dark by yourself at night, pretending she’s here.”
He got up and walked into the hallway, through to the kitchen. She followed him. “I don’t pretend she’s here,” he said. “I just like the quiet.”
“Well, whatever.”