find a reason to decline. She was in no position to start anything—not even a friendship—with anyone. Not until she had a better handle on who and what she had been...and what she’d done.
Besides, she wanted Jase, and no one else.
The admission gave her the strength to make a decision that had been a long time coming: she’d earn his trust again, no matter what it took.
* * *
“LILLIAN MARIE ROURKE, is that you?”
Only one person had ever called her by her full name. Heart drumming with joy—and dread—Lillie turned toward the robust voice.
“Dad! It’s so great to see you.”
“My, my, my,” her dad said, gripping her biceps, “just look at you. Roses in your cheeks and sparkles in those big brown eyes. You look...” Liam wrapped her in a fierce hug. “You look healthy.” He held her at arm’s length again. “Are you happy, Lill?”
She was glad to be home, with rehab behind her. Glad to have put in hard, fourteen-hour days at work afterward. Lillie had saved a few thousand dollars, every penny earmarked to repay the last of her debts. Until then, she wouldn’t truly be happy, so she didn’t answer him directly.
“Where’s Mom?”
“At the inn, planning your homecoming.” He winked. “Here,” her dad said, grabbing her suitcase, “let me take that. Can you believe I found a space right out front?”
Lillie followed him to the parking lot, tossed her backpack into the trunk beside the wheeled bag and climbed into the front seat. “You look wonderful,” she said. “Have you been dieting?”
“Dieting? Me?” He laughed. “No, but I’ve started a new project at the inn. Turns out it’s good exercise.”
“A project?”
Liam started the car. “An addition.”
“Ah, Mom’s kitchen bump-out.”
“And screened-in porch.”
“With a terrace beyond it?”
“And a gazebo. And an arbor. I tell you, Lill, she’s more excited than a bride on her wedding day. She has visions of hosting wedding parties. None of those eight-bridesmaids-and-groomsmen shindigs, mind you. Don’t know where we’d put ’em all in a place the size of the White Roof.”
Amelia had once dreamed of planning Lillie’s wedding. It was all she could talk about after Jase proposed. Back then, her mother had looked into the possibility of renting an arbor for them to exchange vows under. They’d trim it with white roses and baby’s breath. It would be a twilight ceremony, followed by a candlelight reception, complete with a string quartet, finger sandwiches and a four-tiered cake that Lillie would bake and decorate herself. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t a completely impossible dream...
“You won’t believe what your mother has done to that little room on the first floor of the turret.”
“Let me guess... It’s where the brides and bridesmaids will get dressed...” Along with mothers of the brides...
“A-yup.”
Liam reached across the console and squeezed her hand. “It’s really good to have you home, kitten. We missed you.”
How long since he’d called her that? Not since... Lillie shook off the hard memory.
“I missed you guys, too.”
“You’re really okay, then?”
In other words, are you clean and sober, for real? “Yes, I’m fine. Fourteen months now.” And sixteen days.
“What about all those aches and pains from the accident? They’re gone?”
Translation: Pain meds had started her down the road to addiction; was it possible she’d make a U-turn at the first temptation? They’d warned her at rehab to expect varying levels of mistrust. So much for the “forewarned is forearmed” theory, she thought, doing her best to shake off the sting of reality.
“Oh, I have the occasional ache, but who doesn’t? Don’t worry, though, I’ve fought too hard to put that life behind me. Forever. Ever. Period. Even if more surgery is in my future. Besides, I worked in a pub for months and months and didn’t so much as sniff a cork. So I passed the supreme test.” Not to mention, she’d continue daily meetings with the new sponsor recommended by Rising Sun to stay on track, but no one needed to know that. “You’re looking at the new me.” She raised her right hand. “Honest.”
Why did she suddenly feel sixteen again, explaining that she’d never stay out past curfew, ever, ever again?
“We just want what’s best for you, is all. You had us real worried there for a while. But if you say you’re cured—”
She hated to burst his bubble, but Lillie had to be up-front with him. “I wish there was a cure, Dad, but the fact is, I’m an addict. I’ll always be an addict, even after I’m old and gray and rocking on Mom’s new screened porch. But you have my word, I’ll never use again.”
There. It was out. Sadly, she’d need to repeat the little speech to reaffirm it for her mother and siblings. And Jase, whom she’d yet to apologize to. Something told her that no matter how many times she said it, the reassurance wouldn’t get any easier.
Lillie squared her shoulders. “So how are things at the inn? Are you overrun with guests?”
“Actually, just one old couple this weekend. They’d booked last year. It’s an annual thing for them, anniversary celebration. Once they check out, we’ll shut down for the next couple of months, you know, so the contractors won’t disturb anybody.”
“Contractors? Since when do you let someone else wield a hammer in your house!”
“Since I won the lottery.”
“Wait. The lottery? You’re kidding!”
He held up his right hand. “As God is my witness. My ticket came in. After taxes, I raked in a cool half a million. More than enough to make all your mother’s dreams come true. And even though you didn’t cost me a dime, you’re one of those dreams, you know.”
They’d stayed in touch. Emails. Phone calls. FaceTime. Why was this the first she’d heard about something that big?
Stop thinking of yourself, Lill.
Her folks had worked hard all their lives and deserved a big break. She smiled.
He grabbed her hand again. “And now that you’re home and healthy? Well, that’s the cherry on life’s sundae. Speaking of desserts, that’s just one of the reasons she didn’t come with me to pick you up.” The car’s interior rattled as he let out a piercing, two-note whistle. “That woman has been cooking and baking for days. All your favorites.”
“That’s sweet of her. But I hope she isn’t ignoring her art because of me. She’s still painting, right?”
“Not as often as she’d like, but yes, she adds a canvas to her gallery now and then.”
“You mean she finally turned that old parlor room into a studio?”
“Yup. It looks good, I tell ya, and the guests agree. A few talked her into giving them lessons. They were happy with their paintings. You’d think that would inspire the cheapskates to buy one of hers, but no such luck.”
“But they will.”
“Right. There’s always hope, isn’t there.”
She took the comment to heart, because hope was about the only thing Lillie had left.
“You’re not still planning to get a second job, are you, kitten?”
The way Lillie saw it, she didn’t have a choice. Her parents