Another time…another place…
She took a deep breath, and then another. After tonight I will be his wife. Will he want me then?
“Are you all right?” her mother asked, holding her hands away from the veils and looking concerned. “Do you need to sit down for a moment?”
“I am fine, mother,” Leila said, trying a light laugh. “I was just thinking about Sammi and Nadia. Are they very angry with me?” Not Nadia, of course—she was the one who had convinced Leila to go through with this. But Leila had not told her mother that.
Her mother gave a rather unladylike snort. “Of course they are not angry with you.” She paused to consider the effect she had just created with the drape of the veils, then threw Leila a quick, bright glance by way of the mirror. “They have been no more happy than you have, you know, with some of our more…restrictive ways. To have one such restriction done away with they see as a victory for themselves as well as for you.”
Leila could only stare back at her, openmouthed with surprise. She had never heard her mother speak so freely. It occurred to her then, perhaps for the first time, that her mother was a person in her own right, a woman of intelligence, with her own thoughts, opinions, hopes and dreams. And she suddenly wished with all her heart, now that it was too late, that she could have talked with her about those things.
This time, the lurch was not in her stomach, but in her heart. She made an impulsive movement, a jerky half turn. “Mother—” she began, then paused, because Alima’s eyes had darkened with worry…and something else. Embarrassment?
Her mother took a small step back and clasped her hands together in front of her ample chest. “Leila…my dear, you are the first of my daughters to marry. I am sorry—I do not know…exactly how…” She closed her eyes for a moment and bent her head over her clasped hands, as if in prayer, then drew a resolute breath. “What is it you would like to know? There must be questions you wish to ask. Please do not be afraid. I will try—”
A strange little bubble rose into Leila’s throat—part nervousness, part excitement, a little guilt—but she bit it back before it could erupt in laughter. A wave of unheralded tenderness swept over her; she suddenly felt quite amazingly mature and wise. “Mother,” she said gently, “I know about sex. Really. You do not have to worry.”
“Oh dear.” Alima closed her eyes and let out an exasperated breath. “I was afraid of that.”
“From school.” Leila was softly laughing. “It is all right. Really.” She did not think it necessary to mention to her mother that most of her “education” on the subject of sex had not come from classrooms and textbooks, but from the lurid novels and how-to books smuggled in from time to time by Leila’s classmates and examined late at night, by flashlight, under the covers, to the accompaniment of giggles, gasps of amazement and sometimes, outright horror.
Her mother sighed, reached for her and drew her close, in a way she had not done since Leila was a little girl. “Then…you are truly all right? You are not afraid?”
As she fought back tears, Leila briefly considered lying. Then, trembling, she whispered, “Mummy, I am terrified.”
“Oh, my dear one—”
“He is a stranger to me! Who is he? What is he like, this…Cade Gallagher? Mummy, I do not know him at all!”
“Then you will learn,” said her mother in an unexpectedly firm voice, putting Leila away from her and making little brushing adjustments to her veils. “And he will learn about you. And, God willing, you will continue doing so all the days of your lives. As your father and I have.”
“Mother?” Leila brushed a tear. “Did you know Father well before you married? Did you…love him?”
Alima considered that for a moment, and there was a faraway look in her dark eyes. Then she smiled. “I knew that he was a good man….” Then she added more firmly, “And I believe Cade Gallagher to be a good man, as well.”
She paused as Leila turned from her in frustration. Catching hold of her arm, she gave it a tug and said with exasperation, “Leila, you went to his room. Have you forgotten? There must have been a reason. Perhaps you should try to remember what it was about Mr. Gallagher that made you do such an incredibly foolish thing! What made you decide, of all the men in the world, to pursue him?”
In the silence that followed, Leila heard her mother’s words like an echo inside her head. What was it about Mr. Gallagher? What was it…what was it?
Once again she faced her own reflection in the mirror, but now her eyes saw another scene…a sunlit garden, bright with flowers and people and noisy with chatter and the shush of fountains…and a tall man in a pale gray suit and a western cowboy hat with his face lifted to follow the flight of a bird, smiling…eyes alight with wonder, like a child’s. And she drew a long, unsteady breath.
Yes. That was it. The moment when I knew. Everything else came after….
For a long moment her own dark eyes gazed back at her. Then, carefully, she lifted the veils and pulled them forward so that they completely covered her face. They would not be lifted again until her husband drew them aside to look for the first time upon the face of his wife.
She turned to her mother and said in a voice without tremors, “I am ready.”
It is true, she thought. It is really happening. I am marrying Cade Gallagher from Texas. I am going to America.
Chapter 6
“So this is Texas.” Leila tried to keep any hint of disappointment out of her voice as she peered through the windows of the big American car at the jumble of tall buildings and looping ribbons of freeways filled with cars—so many cars, all moving slowly along like rivers of multicolored lava.
“It’s Houston,” her husband replied in that drawling way he spoke sometimes.
Glancing over at him, Leila saw that the corner of his mouth had lifted in a smile—a smile nothing at all like the one that had lit his face like sunshine when he turned in the palace garden to watch the flight of the bird. The one she held tightly in her memory as if to a sacred talisman. Nevertheless, she felt encouraged by it. She had seen him smile seldom enough in the twenty or so hours that she had been his wife.
His wife…I am a wife. He is my husband…. How many times had she repeated those words to herself, sitting beside him in airplanes and cars and airport lounges, standing with him in queues, facing him across restaurant tables? And still the words seemed unreal to her…totally without meaning.
Sitting beside him in the airplanes—that had been the worst part. Sitting so close to him, for hours and hours and hours on end! So close, even in the roomy first-class seats, that she could feel the heat of his body…smell his unfamiliar scent…and, if she was not very careful, sometimes her arm would brush against the sleeve of his jacket. When that happened, prickles would go through her body as if she had received an electric shock. Once…she must have fallen asleep, because she had awakened to discover that her head had been resting on his shoulder. Mortified, she had quickly made her apology, to which he had grunted a gruff reply. Then, looking uncomfortable and shifting restlessly about, he had offered her a pillow.
She had tried very hard to stay awake after that, and as a result now felt fuzzy-headed and queasy with exhaustion. But, she thought, mentally squaring her shoulders, I will not complain. She was a princess of Tamir, after all, and a married woman, not a child. And even as a child had been much too proud to show weakness or fear.
“It is not quite what I expected,” she said lightly, letting her dimples show.
He threw her a glance, a very quick one since he was driving. “In what way?”
“I thought it would be more open—you know, like in the movies. Fewer people, fewer buildings… And,” she