me. I changed as I got older.” And her mother continued to warn her about the dangers of stagnating in a rural environment. She rested her chin on her hands as she stared out across Cole’s fields. “I visited the farm less often and started to rely more on phone calls and then emails. Grandpa never did pick up texting.”
“Pity.”
“Yeah. I know.” She let out a soft breath. “One of the hard lessons of life is that there are things you can’t go back and fix.”
“What would you fix?”
“More face time with Grandpa.”
“Would you have had time?”
She gave her head a slow shake. No way, what with the hours she’d put into high school, college and then her job. Could she have adjusted the amount of time? Not if she’d wanted to see the same results.
Yet now you’re out of work…
Bump in the road. That was all. Happened to most professionals.
She glanced up to see Cole studying her and cleared her throat, feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious. “It’s not possible to fix the past,” she said. “So I’m trying to do better with the here and now.”
“How?”
The question made all traces of self-consciousness evaporate. “Do you really want to know, or are you challenging me?”
“Really want to know.”
She had a ready answer, because she’d spent a lot of time thinking about how to set things right and not make mistakes in the future. “I’m calling my grandfather more often. I’ve made a vow to myself not to go to radio silence when things aren’t going right. I may not share the details, but I’ll stay in contact.”
He nodded, then looked up at the horizon, his gaze coming back to her when she asked, “How about you?”
“How about me what?”
“Any regrets that you need to make right?” His expression shuttered at the question. “Ah…so your life isn’t fair game?” she asked softly.
“I’m not big into talking about my life,” he said.
“Yet you feel free to question mine.”
“You didn’t have to answer.”
“I’ll remember that.”
“I was just making conversation.” He shifted his weight as he spoke, his body language telling her that wasn’t the full truth. He was curious about her. Because he wanted to know more about her as a person? Or because he was trying to figure out her weak spots?
“Me, too.” Taylor gave him a pert and totally insincere smile, earning herself a frown in return. Cole did frown a lot…
She leaned her back against the tractor. “Were you like this with your ranch guests?”
“Like what?”
“All frowning and disapproving?”
“I’m not disapproving.”
“Bullshit. You totally are.”
Now his mouth flattened, and Taylor had to admit to being fascinated with his mouth. She couldn’t nail down why exactly. The shape was pretty damned perfect, but it was more about the way his lips moved, the expressions he formed.
And the potential for exploration…
Taylor crossed her arms over her chest, trying to ignore the warmth spreading there.
“If I come off as disapproving, I apologize.”
She allowed herself a wry half smile. “And if I come off as entitled, I apologize.”
Cole shook his head. “Taylor—you tried to strong-arm me out of my house.”
Taylor pressed a hand to her chest. “Moi?”
“Yes. Vous.”
Taylor couldn’t resist smiling a little. “Okay, so I’m a little pushy.”
“A little?”
The words didn’t sting. In fact, they made things better—or maybe it was the way his fascinating mouth curved as he said them. “I can’t help how I was raised, but I can do something about it now. Losing my job has opened my eyes to a few things.”
“Like what?” At her lifted eyebrow, he quickly added, “If you care to share.”
“The stuff I said about keeping better contact with Grandpa.” She pursed her lips, debating about how much she wanted to reveal. No matter what, it would be a hell of a lot more than he was willing to reveal. Cole was one closed-off guy. “I know now that no one is irreplaceable, so I’ll approach my work differently. I’ll have my résumé polished up and at the ready. And—” she eased her thumbs into her front pockets “—there will be more smelling of the roses.”
“Didn’t do a lot of that before?”
“Work was my roses. And it’ll still be important to me…but not everything.”
“It was everything before?”
“I’ll be honest with you. It was too much of my life before. Yes, I’ll probably bury myself again, but not with the same attitude.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t bury yourself at all.”
“In my field, burying is part of the territory.”
“Guess that’s why I like farming.”
Taylor looked around her, trying to imagine this being her livelihood. Days spent outdoors, driving in circles around a field, sorting junk piles, taking care of animals. To be honest, a day on the tractor had shifted her perspective a bit. She’d had fun and felt a sense of accomplishment. But she hadn’t used her degrees, and after working her ass off for five years to get those degrees…well, not using them seemed like a sorry waste.
She met Cole’s gaze, started to speak, then stopped. He had gorgeous eyes to go with his gorgeous mouth, and right now she wanted to drink in the way he was looking at her, cautiously, questioningly. There wasn’t much about the man that wasn’t easy on the eyes. What would he look like in Armani?
Spectacular.
But he didn’t belong in Armani. He looked ridiculously good in denim, so why go the multithousand-dollar route?
“Taylor?”
Telltale color warmed her cheeks as she realized she’d been staring, but her gaze didn’t waver. “I was imagining you in a business suit.”
Dark eyebrows came together, perplexed. “Why?”
“You know what I look like in your world. Maybe I wondered how you would look in mine.”
“Extremely uncomfortable.”
“Yeah. That was my conclusion, too.”
“But you don’t look all that uncomfortable in mine.”
“Yeah?” She didn’t want to look too comfortable in his world, because she didn’t belong there. “I guess I’ll have to work on that.”
She’d thought Cole would smile, but he didn’t. Instead he jerked his head toward the house. “We’ve talked through a good part of our lunch break.”
“Beauty of farming,” Taylor replied. “You can set your own hours.” And actually…she could see the beauty of that.
Score one point for farming.
“I’M NOT A farm girl.”
Max