Tahereh Mafi

A Very Large Expanse of Sea


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shook his head.

      “Oh,” I said, and tried to smile. “Yeah. I guess it’s not for everyone.”

      But I loved it.

      Alexander McQueen’s fall line had just hit stores and, after a lot of begging, I’d convinced my mom to drive me to one of the fancy malls around here just so I could see the pieces in person. I didn’t even touch them. I just stood near them, staring.

      I thought Alexander McQueen was a genius.

      “So—did you do that to your shoes?” Ocean said suddenly. “Like, on purpose?”

      I glanced down.

      I was wearing what used to be a pair of simple white Nikes, but I’d drawn all over them. And my backpack. And my binders. It was just something I did sometimes. I’d lock myself in my room, listen to music, and draw on things. Sometimes it was random doodles, but lately I’d been experimenting with graffiti—tagging, specifically—because some tagging techniques reminded me of highly stylized Persian calligraphy. I wasn’t like Navid, though; I’d never graffitied public property. Not more than twice, anyway.

      “Yeah,” I said slowly. “I did that on purpose.”

      “Oh. That’s cool.”

      I laughed at the look on his face.

      “No, really,” he said. “I like it.”

      Still, I hesitated. “Thanks.”

      “You have another pair like that, too, huh?”

      “Yes.” I raised an eyebrow. “How’d you know?”

      “You sit in front of me,” he said. He looked me right in the eye and he almost smiled, but it looked like a question. “You’ve been sitting in front of me for two months. I stare at you every day.”

      My eyes widened. And then I frowned. I didn’t even have a chance to say the words before he said—

      “I didn’t mean”—he shook his head, looked away—“wow, I didn’t mean that, like, I stare at you. I just meant that I see you. You know. Shit,” he said softly, and mostly to himself. “Never mind.”

      I half laughed, but it sounded weird. “Okay.”

      And that was it. He didn’t say anything else worth remembering for the rest of the period.

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