Cheryl St.John

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around a roaring campfire, telling tall tales, laughing. Always laughing. She wouldn’t have pictured him here in this town, intent on building a community and securing a family. If she’d imagined what he’d be doing, she would have pictured him settling down on the ranch he always talked about.

      But he was right. Nothing was as it used to be. And Daniel was a grown man now. A man who’d experienced things she couldn’t imagine. Stability and security probably sounded pretty good to him, too.

      “I would be a good husband. You already know what kind of man I am. I can provide for you. I can give you this home. And a family. We could raise children here. I own the stockyards and a lot of the property and even homes. I’m building more all the time.”

      He’d be a good husband and provide for her? They could raise children, he’d said. His words penetrated her reminiscent musings and registered with more than a little surprise. She purposely kept the astonishment from her expression, but rested a palm on her chest, where her heart had skipped a beat.

      “I’ve hired workers to build the houses,” he continued. “And I’m selling them to the arriving families. Besides having a respected position in the community, I’m rather well off. You can have your fresh start and never have to worry about anything again.”

      All that information about the property and obvious money would have mattered more before. It still mattered, of course, because he was talking about securing her future. He was looking right at her, in that intense way he had when he felt strongly about something, his green eyes bright. But the words that rang in her head were those that offered her heart’s desire. A new start with nothing to worry over.

      She’d hoped for a decent man to ask for her hand in marriage. She’d prayed for someone kind and God-fearing. She’d asked the Almighty for His protection for her child and a husband she could tolerate.

      She had nothing to fear from Daniel Gardner. He was gentle and kind—a man of his word, a man of integrity. He wanted to marry her and have children together. Her mouth was dry.

      She stood and moved down to the stone path, where she turned and looked back up at him sitting on the top stair. “Daniel Gardner, you’re asking me to marry you.”

      “I’m asking if you will allow me to court you.”

      Raising a trembling hand to her forehead, she shaded her eyes from the sun and gazed down the street at the schoolhouse that would soon hold children. Their cheerful voices would be audible from this porch, perhaps their singing would even reach the kitchen window. The imagery stole away her breath and pierced her heart with want and loss.

      Daniel had a dream. He’d survived the horrors of war and traveled to this place with hopes. He wanted children of his own. He deserved a selfless young wife who would love him as he deserved.

      An ache grew in her chest, an ache like a gnawing hunger. She felt as though she’d lost something perfect and beautiful. An ache so big and ugly she couldn’t bear it spread to her belly. She didn’t want him to change his mind, but once he knew the truth, she didn’t want him to marry her out of duty or obligation—and most of all not out of pity.

      “Daniel, I’m going to have a baby.”

      His bright green gaze immediately flickered over her dress and back to her face. A line creased his forehead. “Now?”

      “Not this moment,” she said in a wobbly voice. “In a few months. I’m carrying a child. My husband’s child.”

      He appeared to turn that information over in his mind before speaking. “He didn’t die in the war?”

      “No. He died five months ago.”

      Daniel straightened and came down the stairs. Standing beside her he seemed taller and broader. The faint scents of cedar and starch touched her nostrils. She looked up into his face, rethinking her image of him, rethinking her options. Either her options had just become a whole lot more appealing, or her losses had become even greater—if he didn’t want her baby.

      Nerves fluttered in Leah’s chest. Her mouth was dry.

      “Your suffering’s the same no matter how or when he died, Leah. I’m sorry you lost your husband.”

      You have no idea. I don’t want you to know. “Thank you, Daniel.”

      “I understand the hurt is fresh.” His tender, caring tone brought tears to her eyes. “And I know you’re doing what you must do in order to move on and make a life for yourself. For your child.”

      She blinked and looked over his shoulder at the long narrow double windows reflecting the sky.

      “I’ll take care of you and the baby. I’ll raise him like my own. He’ll never want for anything.”

      Oh. There it was. The promise of a good man. An earnest and kind man. The one requirement from which she couldn’t be budged. Tears burned behind her eyes. “I believe you,” she managed. “You’re a man of your word. A devoted man. You have ambition and foresight. And you’re good-hearted.” She reached for his sleeve and rested her hand on his arm. “Most importantly, you’re kind.”

      His hesitation was barely perceptible. “Will you marry me?”

      She looked up into his piercing green eyes and searched for sincerity. He wouldn’t be human if he didn’t share her uncertainty. He masked his tension well, but she knew him better. This wasn’t a choice to make lightly. But marriage was a practical decision. Like he’d said, they weren’t strangers. They already knew they had things in common and would be compatible. If she said no, she couldn’t know who would ask her next. Obviously there were plenty of options, with all the single men vying for a wife, but she would never do any better than Daniel.

      She’d married Charles, believing he would provide a home and security. Daniel’s beautiful home and standing in the community would have meant everything to her at one time. Now the house was superfluous, like pink sugar sprinkles on iced tea cakes. She wanted the provision he promised for her child. She needed to feel safe. But she was hungry for kindness.

      She’d lost her faith in mankind, but she still believed God loved her and was watching out for her. Why else would Daniel Gardner want to marry her?

      “This marriage would be a practical partnership,” she said at last. “I can promise to be a good wife. You have a standing in town, and I would make every attempt to uphold that and make you proud.”

      He raised his chin and gave a conciliatory nod. “Of course.”

      “I may not be able to assume a lot of household duties right away,” she told him. “If that’s a problem I understand. I must be honest with you.”

      “Of course,” he said again.

      Her stomach dipped as she formed her next words. “This isn’t the first time I’ve carried a child.”

      He lowered his eyebrows in question. “No?”

      “I lost two babies before. I am going to be very careful and get a lot of rest so I can bring this child safely into the world. I won’t take any risks.”

      “Of course, Leah. Of course you must take every precaution. I’ll take care of everything. I’ll make sure you have help with the house, and later with the baby.”

      She took a shaky breath. “This is almost too good to be true.”

      He took her hands in his. His fingers were large and warm, and she felt undeniably safe in that moment. “We can’t lose hope, Leah. We’ve lived through difficult times—the worst of times. We’ve lost so much. But there’s still good in the world. God’s still on His throne, watching over us, guiding us, loving us. He knows our hurt and our hearts.”

      “I believe that, too, Daniel. Otherwise, how would I have ended up here at this time? Seeing you and Will yesterday was like finding family I’d lost.”

      He nodded in understanding. “Say yes.”