Delia Parr

Carry The Light


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she turned back to the bed, a pair of hazel eyes, dulled by fatigue, greeted her. Charlene stroked her aunt’s head, damp with perspiration. “I was trying not to wake you up.”

      “I wasn’t asleep. Just resting,” her aunt said, and smiled weakly. “I’m sorry. It looks like you might have to wait awhile for those caramel brownies I promised you. I don’t think I’ll be up to making them by tomorrow.”

      Charlene returned the smile. “Don’t worry about the brownies or anything else right now.”

      Aunt Dorothy closed her eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry to be such a bother. After your long day, the last thing you needed was to drive all the way back here.” Her hands trembled as she shoved her purse toward Charlene. “Take this for me, will you, dear?”

      “You’re not a bother,” Charlene insisted as she laid the purse near her own. “What happened? Why didn’t you call me earlier if you felt ill? I would have brought you to the hospital. Makes a girl worry, like maybe you had somebody else you liked better,” she teased.

      Aunt Dorothy kept her eyes closed, but smiled again. “I really didn’t think I needed to come to the hospital. Not at first. I was visiting Annie, just like I told you earlier. We’d just been sitting around after dinner, talking, when I started feeling woozy. Then I had one of my little spells.”

      Aunt Dorothy opened her eyes and blinked away a few tears. “Poor Annie. She didn’t quite know what to do. I started coughing and coughing, and I just couldn’t stop. Then I started sweating and I couldn’t catch my breath and my heart just started racing faster and faster. That’s when I got scared, too, so Annie called nine-one-one. The next thing I knew, I was in the ambulance. Let me tell you, riding in one of those things is not much fun. I never realized they were so bumpy,” she grumbled, but managed a lopsided smile. “The emergency medical technicians were a nice bunch of young fellas, though.”

      Charlene chuckled. “You didn’t flirt with them, did you?”

      Aunt Dorothy attempted another grin, but didn’t quite succeed. She looked out of energy. “Only a little. They were a tad on the young side, but they were awfully strong. They got me to that ambulance easily enough, and they took good care of me all the way here—all except for going over all those bumps.” She pointed to a basin of water and some cloths on the table by her bed. “I’m still feeling a little pasty. Could you wipe my face for me, dear?”

      “What does the doctor have to say about your spell?” Charlene asked as she moistened a cloth.

      “Not much yet. They did some tests, but I haven’t heard back on them yet.”

      Charlene gently wiped her aunt’s face, looking tenderly at the aged features that were so dear to her. “Did you take your insulin today?”

      Aunt Dorothy’s eyes flashed. “I never forget my insulin. You know that. Between the trip and going to Annie’s for dinner, I probably just overdid it today. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

      “Yes, you will,” Charlene murmured, and set down the washcloth.

      A nurse entered the room with a cup of ice, looked from Aunt Dorothy to Charlene, and smiled. “You must be Dorothy’s niece. I’m Sandy. I’m helping to take care of your aunt,” she explained before turning her attention to her patient. She scanned the monitors and checked Aunt Dorothy’s IV. “Feeling better?”

      “Better, but I’m not feeling like myself at all. I don’t think I’m up to going home tonight,” Aunt Dorothy replied, surprisingly admitting to a frailty when she was usually so unwilling to be anything less than independent.

      “Whether or not you go home tonight is up to Dr. McDougal. She’ll be here to see you again in a bit. In the meantime, I’ve brought you those ice chips you wanted.”

      Aunt Dorothy took the cup of ice chips. When she tried to sip at some, her hand shook so hard she spilled a few onto her chest. “Look at the mess I’m making.”

      The nurse scooped up the spilled chips and tossed them into a trash can. “No problem. The mess is gone. Do you want some help?”

      “Charlene can help me,” Aunt Dorothy informed her.

      Under the nurse’s watchful gaze, Charlene held the cup steady while her aunt took some ice chips, sucked them away and then took some more.

      “Is there a preliminary diagnosis to explain my aunt’s spell?” Charlene asked.

      The nurse looked at Aunt Dorothy. “Is it all right to discuss the diagnosis or test results with your niece?”

      Aunt Dorothy swallowed the ice in her mouth. “Of course.”

      “We’re still waiting for test results, so we can’t be sure,” the nurse began. “We’re concerned about her lungs, of course. They’re congested, which is why we’re limiting fluids for the moment, at least until we get the results of her chest X-ray. And we’re concerned about her heart. The symptoms she’s exhibiting are all consistent with CHF, but they may or may not indicate she’s had a heart attack. The electrocardiogram was inconclusive, but we’ll know from the blood test whether or not she actually suffered one.”

      Charlene furrowed her brow. “CHF?”

      “Congestive heart failure. According to what we’ve learned so far from her primary physician, your aunt was diagnosed with CHF over two years ago. We have some brochures about it that you can read, if you like, and Dr. McDougal will be glad to answer all of your questions once there’s a final diagnosis.”

      Charlene looked at her aunt. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

      Aunt Dot shrugged. “They’ve got fancy names for everything these days. All that CHF means is that my heart is slowing down and doesn’t pump as good as it did when I was younger. I’m eighty-one years old. Everything is supposed to slow down. For all the money they charge, the doctors should tell me something I don’t know.”

      Charlene shook her head, but directed her attention to the nurse. “I’ll take one of those brochures, and I’d like to speak to Dr. McDougal as well. Do you think they’ll be admitting my aunt, or will I be taking her home tonight?”

      The nurse patted her arm. “I wouldn’t plan on taking her home tonight. We’re hoping to transfer her to a regular room, as soon as one becomes available. We’ll know more when we have all the test results, which won’t be until morning. If you’ll excuse me, I need to check on another patient. Just buzz if you need me to come back,” she instructed before leaving the room.

      “Honestly, I don’t mind staying. They’re taking good care of me,” Aunt Dorothy admitted. “I’m sorry you had to drive all the way back here, but I wanted to talk to you about my papers and such. Just in case.”

      Charlene cocked her head. “Just in case?”

      Aunt Dorothy sighed and patted the side of her bed. “Sit with me. I need to tell you where I keep my important papers, just in case I don’t get to go back home at all. And I need you to stop at the bank first thing in the morning, if you wouldn’t mind.”

      “I have money, but I shouldn’t think that you’d be needing any,” Charlene said.

      “No, but I do need my living will,” her aunt whispered, and closed her eyes.

       Chapter Three

       I n less than a week, every aspect of Ellie’s existence had been flipped upside down and twisted inside out. Organizing the chaos in her life was her most urgent priority, and she had only today to do it.

      She closed and locked the door to her office late Wednesday afternoon at the end of her first day back at work. She was carrying a briefcase full of student papers that the substitute teacher had collected for her to grade, along with a list of parents who needed to be called because she had missed parent conferences for the first time in her career.

      She tried to be content,