Littlepage Manuscripts: Satanstoe, The Chainbearer & The Redskins (Complete Edition)
English, I hope, Mr. Littlepage. I mean that your edication has cost your folks enough to warrant them in calling on you for a little interest. How much do you suppose, now, has been spent on your edication, beginning at the time you first went to Mr. Worden, and leaving off the day you quitted Newark?”
“Really, I have not the smallest notion; the subject has never crossed my mind.”
“Did the old folks never say anything to you about it?—never foot up the total?”
“I am sure it is not easy to see how this could be done, for I could not help them in the least.”
“But your father’s books would tell that, as doubtless it all stands charged against you.”
“Stands charged against me!—How, sir! do you imagine my father makes a charge in a book against me, whenever he pays a few pounds for my education?”
“Certainly; how else could he tell how much you have had?—though, on reflection, as you are an only child, it does not make so much difference. You probably will get all, in the end.”
“And had I a brother, or a sister, do you imagine, Mr. Newcome, each shilling we spent would be set down in a book, as charges against us?”
“How else, in natur’, could it be known which had had the most, or any sort of justice be done between you?”
“Justice would be done, by our common father’s giving to each just as much of his own money as he might see fit. What is it to me, if he chose to give my brother a few hundred pounds more than he chose to give to me? The money is his, and he may do with it as he choose.”
“An hundred pounds is an awful sight of money!” exclaimed Jason, betraying by his countenance how deeply he felt the truth of this. “If you have had money in such large sums, so much the more reason why you should set about doing suthin’ to repay the old gentleman. Why not set up a school?”
“Sir!”
“Why not set up a school, I say? You might have had this of mine, had you been a little older; but once in, fast in, with me. Still, schools are wanted, and you might get a tolerable good recommend. I dare say your tutor would furnish a certificate.”
This word “recommend” was used by Jason for “recommendation” the habit of putting verbs in the places of substantives, and vice versa, being much in vogue with him.
“And do you really think that one who is destined to inherit Satanstoe, would act advisedly to set up a school? Recollect, Mr. Newcome, that my father and grandfather have both borne the king’s commission; and that the last bears it, at this very moment, through his representative, the Governor.”
“What of all that? What better business is there than keeping a good school? If you are high in your notions, get to be made a tutor in that New Jersey college. Recollect that a tutor in a college is somebody. I did hope for such a place, but having a Governor’s son against me, as a candidate, there was no chance.”
“A Governor’s son a candidate for a tutorship in a college! You are pleased to trifle with me, Mr. Newcome.”
“It’s true as the gospel. You thought some smaller fish put me down, but he was the son of the Governor. But, why do you give that vulgar name to your father’s farm—Satanstoe is not decent; yet, Corny, I’ve heard you use it before your own mother!”
“That you may hear every day, and my mother use it, too, before her own son. What fault do you find with the name of Satanstoe?”
“Fault!—In the first place it is irreligious and profane; then it is ungenteel and vulgar, and only fit to be used in low company. Moreover, it is opposed to history and revelation, the Evil One having a huff, if you will, but no toes. Such a name couldn’t stand a fortnight before public opinion in New England.”
“Yes, that may be very true; but we do not care enough for His Satanic Majesty in the colony of New York, to treat him with so much deference. As for the ‘huffs,’ as you call them——”
“Why, what do you call ‘em, Mr. Littlepage?”
“Hoofs, Mr. Newcome; that is the New York pronunciation of the word.”
“I care nothing for York pronunciation, which everybody knows is Dutch and full of corruptions. You’ll never do anything worth speaking of in this colony, Corny, until you pay more attention to your schools.”
“I do not know what you call attention, Mr. Jason, unless we have paid it already. Here, I have the caption, or rather preamble of a law, on that very subject, that I copied out of the statute-book on purpose to show you, and which I will now read in order to prove to you how things really stand in the colony.”
“Read away,” rejoined Jason, with an air of sufficient disdain.
Read I did, and in the following sententious and comprehensive language, viz:—“Whereas the youth of this colony are found, by manifold experience, to be not inferior in their natural geniuses to the youth of any other country in the world, therefore be it enacted, &c.” 8
“There, sir,” I said in exultation, “you have chapter and verse for the true character of the rising generation in the colony of New York.”
“And what does that preamble lead to?” demanded Jason, a little staggered at finding the equality of our New York intellects established so clearly by legislative enactment.
“It is the preamble to an act establishing the free schools of New York, in which the learned languages have now been taught these twenty years; and you will please to remember that another law has not long been passed establishing a college in town.”
“Well, curious laws sometimes do get into the statute-books, and a body must take them as he finds them. I dare say Connecticut might have a word to say on the same subject, if you would give her a chance. Have you heard the wonderful news from Philadelphia, Corny, that has just come among us?”
“I have heard nothing of late; for you know I have been over in Rockland, with Dirck Follock, for the last two weeks, and news never reaches that family, or indeed that county.”
“No, that is true enough,” answered Jason, drily; “News and a Dutchman have no affinity, or attraction, as we would say in philosophy; though there is gravitation enough on one side, ha! boy?”
Here Jason laughed outright, for he was always delighted whenever he could get a side-hit at the children of Holland, whom he appeared to regard as a race occupying a position between the human family and the highest class of the unintellectual animals. But it is unnecessary to dwell longer on this dialogue, my object being merely to show the general character of Jason’s train of thought, in order to be better understood when I come to connect his opinions with his acts.
Dirck and myself were much together after my return from college. I passed weeks at a time with him, and he returned my visits with the utmost freedom and good-will. Each of us had now got his growth, and it would have done the heart of Frederick of Prussia good, to have seen my young friend after he had ended his nineteenth year. In stature he measured exactly six feet three, and he gave every promise of filling up in proportion. Dirck was none of your roundly-turned, Apollo-built fellows, but he had shoulders that his little, short, solid, but dumpy-looking mother, who was of the true stock, could scarcely span, when she pulled his head down to give him a kiss; which she did regularly, as Dirck told me himself, twice each year; that is to say, Christmas and New-Year. His complexion was fair, his limbs large and well proportioned, his hair light, his eyes blue, and his face would have been thought handsome by most persons. I will not deny, however, that there was a certain ponderosity, both of mind and body, about my friend, that did not very well accord with the general notion of grace and animation. Nevertheless, Dirck was a sterling fellow, as true as steel, as brave as a game-cock, and as honest as noon-day light.
Jason was a very different sort of person, in many essentials. In figure, he was also tall, but he was angular, loose-jointed and