and go to her small offenses: for he argued shrewdly enough that since her sins were peccadilloes, perhaps some of her peccadilloes might turn out to be sins.
"Small!" cried the culprit, turning red: "they are none of them small." I really think she was jealous of her reputation as a sinner of high degree.
However she complied, and putting up her mouth, murmured a miscellaneous confession without end. The accents were soft and musical, like a babbling brook; and the sins, such as they were, poor things, rippled on in endless rotation.
Now nothing tends more to repose than a purling brook; and ere long that Bassoon, her confessor's nose, let her know she had lost his ear.
She stopped indignant. But at that he instantly awoke (sublatâ causâ, tollitur effectus), and addressed her thus with sudden dignity:—"My daughter, you will fast on Monday next, and say two Aves and a Credo. Absolvo te.
"And now," said he, "as I am a practical man, let us get back from the imaginary world into the real. Speak to me at present as your director; and mind you must be serious now, and call things by their right names."
Upon this Kate took a seat, and told her story, and showed him the difficulty she was in. She then reminded him that, notwithstanding her unfortunate itch for the seven deadly sins, she was a good Catholic, a zealous daughter of the Church: and she let him know her desire to retire from both lovers into a convent: and, so freed from the world and its temptations, yield up her soul entire to celestial peace and divine contemplation.
"Not so fast," said the priest. "Even zeal is nought without obedience. If you could serve the Church better than by going into a convent, would you be willful?"
"Oh no, father. But how can I serve the Church better than by renouncing the world?"
"Perhaps by remaining in the world, as she herself does; and by making converts to the faith. You could hardly serve her worse than by going into a convent; for our convents are poor, and you have no means; you would be a charge. No, daughter, we want no poor nuns; we have enough of them. If you are, as I think, a true and zealous daughter of the Church, you must marry; and instill the true faith with all a mother's art, a mother's tenderness, into your children. Then the heir to your husband's estates will be a Catholic, and so the true faith get rooted in the soil."
"Alas!" said Catherine, "are we to look but to the worldly interests of the Church?"
"They are inseparable from her spiritual interests here on earth: our souls are not more bound to our bodies."
Catherine was deeply mortified. "So the Church rejects me because I am poor," said she, with a sigh.
"The Church rejects you not, but only the Convent. No place is less fit for you. You have a high spirit, and high religious sentiments; both would be mortified and shocked in a nunnery. Think you that convent walls can shut out temptation? I know them better than you: they are strongholds of vanity, folly, tittle-tattle, and all the meanest vices of your sex. Nay, I forbid you to think of it: show me now your faith by your obedience."
"You are harsh to me, father," said Catherine, piteously.
"I am firm. You are one that need a tight hand, mistress. Come now, humility and obedience, these are the Christian graces that best become your youth. Say, can the Church, through me its minister, count on these from you, or (suddenly letting loose his diapason) did you send for me to ask advice, and yet go your own way; hiding a high stomach and a willful heart under a show of humility?"
Catherine looked at Father Francis with dismay. This was the first time that easy-going priest had shown her how impressive he could be. She was downright frightened; and said she hoped she knew better than defy her director; she laid her will at his feet; and would obey him like a child, as was her duty.
"Now I know my daughter again," said he, and gave her his horrible paw; the which she kissed very humbly: and that matter was settled to her entire dissatisfaction.
Soon after that they were both summoned to supper; but, as they went down, Kate's maid drew her aside, and told her a young man wanted to speak to her.
"A young man!" screamed Kate. "Hang young men! They have got me a fine scolding just now. Which is it, pray?"
"He is a stranger to me."
"Perhaps he comes with a message from some fool. You may bring him to me in the hall, and stay with us; it may be a thief for ought I know."
The maid soon reappeared, followed by Mr. Thomas Leicester.
That young worthy had lingered on Scutchemsee Nob, to extract the last drop of enjoyment from the situation, by setting up his hat at ten paces, and firing the gentlemen's pistols at it. I despair of conveying to any rational reader the satisfaction, keen though brief, this afforded him: it was a new sensation; gentlemen's guns he had fired many, but dueling pistols not one till that bright hour.
He was now come to remind Catherine of his pecuniary claims. Luckily for him she was one who did not need to be reminded of her promises. "Oh, it is you, child," said she: "well, I'll be as good as my word." She then dismissed her maid, and went up-stairs, and soon returned with two guineas, a crown piece, and three shillings in her hand. "There," said she, smiling, "I am sorry for you, but that is all the money I have in the world."
The boy's eyes glittered at sight of the coin: he rammed the silver into his pocket with hungry rapidity. But he shook his head about the gold. "I'm afeard o' these," said he: and eyed them mistrustfully in his palm. "These be the friends that get you your throat cut o' dark nights: mistress, please keep 'em for me, and let me have a shilling now and then when I'm dry."
"Nay," said Kate, "but are you not afraid I shall spend your money, now I have none left of my own?"
Tom seemed quite struck with the reasonableness of this observation, and hesitated. However he concluded to risk it. "You don't look one of the sort to wrong a poor fellow," said he: "and besides you'll have brass to spare of your own before long I know."
Kate opened her eyes. "Oh, indeed!" said she: "and pray how do you know that?"
Mr. Leicester favored her with a knowing wink. He gave her a moment to digest this; and then said, almost in a whisper, "Hearkened the gentlefolks on Scutchemsee Nob, after you was gone home, mistress."
Kate was annoyed. "What! they must be prating as soon as one's back is turned. Talk of women's tongues! Now what did they say, I should like to know?"
"It was about the bet, ye know."
"A bet! Oh that is no affair of mine."
"Ay, but it is. Why, 'twas you they were betting on: seems that old sodger and Squire Hammersley had laid three guineas to one that you should let out which was your fancy of them two."
Kate's cheeks were red as fire now; but her delicacy overpowered her curiosity, and she would not put any more questions. To be sure, young Hopeful needed none; he was naturally a chatter-box, and he proceeded to tell her, that as soon as ever she was gone, Squire Hammersley took a guinea, and offered it to the old soldier, and told him he had won; and the old soldier pocketed it. But after that, somehow, Squire Hammersley let drop that Mr. Neville was the favorite. "Then," continued Mr. Leicester, "what does the old sodger do, but pull out guinea again, and says he, 'You must have this back; bet is not won; for you do think 'tis Neville, now I do think 'tis Gaunt.' So then they fell to argufying, and talking a lot o' stuff."
"No doubt: the insolent meddlers! Can you remember any of their nonsense? not that it is worth remembering, I'll be bound."
"Let me see: well, Squire Hammersley he said you owned to dreaming of Squire Neville, and that was a sign of love, said he; and, besides, you sided with him against t'other. But the old sodger he said you called Squire Gaunt 'Griffith;' and he built on that. Oh, and a said you changed the horses back to please our Squire. Says he, 'You must look to what the lady did; never heed what she said. Why, their sweet lips was only made to kiss us, and deceive us,' says that there old sodger."
"I'll—I'll—and what did you say, sir? For I suppose your tongue was not idle."
"Oh,