to go home. Now. Take a shower.
A very cold one.
Chapter seven
Julie
After the shopping marathon, my week was pretty quiet. I rehearsed quite a lot the setlist of the show on the stage of After Dark that we would present on Friday. Daniel hadn't come back from the business trip yet, which reassured me. Rafe said he should only really come back on Saturday and didn't bring up any obstacle for me to rehearse at the bar. As they say, as soon as the cats get out, the rats throw the party!
Finally Friday arrived. In the afternoon, Jo and I go to a salon near After Dark to fix the hair and get the nails done.
I put on denim shorts and a loose blouse that falls on the shoulder leaving it exposed. On the feet, flat sandals. I let my hair down, even though I can't fix it the way George did.
Yet. Learning to groom myself is among one of my goals for the next few weeks. I hold the makeup case and apply mask on the eyelashes and a gloss.
When I finish, I look closely in the mirror and feel different. It's not just the clothes or the loose hair. It's like there's a different glow in my eyes. A greater awareness of who and what I am, and the certainty that I need to make changes to my life.
The loss of my parents in childhood was a huge impact on my life. The longing and sadness of not having them by my side knows no limit, of course. But more than that, the feeling of being alone in the world, of not having any blood bond with anyone else —even with the Stewarts being amazing people—and losing the key life references that a child may have inevitably influenced me to become the person I am today. Yes, I'm proud of myself, but I'm also fully aware that I need to work on my self-esteem.
As I look towards my reflection in the mirror, I see the face of a person eager for a life change. Of a woman reaching her maturity and achievement. And that awareness makes me feel safer.
With a sigh, I pick up my cell phone and call an Uber to go to Mary and Paul's. I arranged with Jo to have coffee there before we went to the salon.
In the car, I hear my stomach growling and I can barely contain a little smile. I didn’t eat anything beforehand, as Mary is one of those mothers who makes a point of feeding the family. And when I say feeding, I mean really stuffing up. It takes a 14-hour fast to be able to cope with your following breakfast. I don't know how none of us had problems with hormones in our teens.
As soon as I get out of the Uber I see Paul, who's already at the door waiting for me. I run up to him and he gives me a super hug.
"Julie, it’s been so long! We missed you.”
"Me too, Paul," I speak with a smile on my face, showing all the affection I feel for him.
"Let me see you. You’re looking beautiful!”
At this point, Jo comes out of the house and smiles.
"Dad, you didn't see anything. She sang at AD last week. George and I fixed her up and she turned out really hot. She didn't look the same person. Just look at it.”
To my surprise, she opens a picture on her cell phone that I hadn't even seen it had been taken. I recall the exact moment of the photo. I was backstage, next to the guys of the band. George had been kidding with me, talking rubbish, as usual, and I had a big smile. I am surprised by my expression of cheer joy in the photo.
"Jo, you're absolutely right," Paul agrees. "My dear, you look beautiful. Mary's going to be thrilled to see you like this.”
I smile again and hug him once more.
"But, daughters, did Daniel allow it?”
My heart gets warm every time Paul calls us daughters.
"Gee, Paul, that's a long story. Let's go inside and have coffee”, I say, pulling them both into the house.
***
We had a strong coffee made by Mary while we told everything about the show. After stuffing ourselves, Jo makes a sign that it's time to go.
"Oh, no, Jo. Let me stay quiet for a minute. I just wanna roll until I find a bed “, I say, moaning.
"None of that. You better find strength as we have to go to the salon. And we're still going to pick out your outfit”, she replies, pushing me on.
"Julie?” Mary calls me when I'm about to get up from the table. "Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Of course.” Would she be upset because I sang at AD and disobeyed Daniel?
We walk to the garden, where we can talk privately.
"You know I regard you as a daughter, don't you?”
"Yes, I know.”
"So I'm going to give you some advice your mother would give you.” I nod, feeling curious, but I cannot prevent the tears growing in my eyes.
Just remembering my mother makes me feel a huge grip in my chest. "Although I regard you as a daughter, every day I thank God that you are not. I know about your feelings for Daniel. I see it in your eyes every time someone brings up my son's name, since you were a little girl. And I'm sure you're perfect for him. I wouldn't choose anyone better than you to take care of and love him”, she says, and this time, I can't hold back the tears, like the cheesy one that I am. "My advice to you is: believe in yourself and your potential. Have faith in love. And don't give up.”
I raise my eyebrow as I snuff. She laughs.
"It's not going to be easy. Neither to win your much deserved spot at After Dark, nor my son's heart.
You have a long way ahead”, she squints her eyes. "Do make Daniel suffer a little bit, okay? Not much, I'm his mother and I don't want to see him devastated. It's just that he needs to wake up and understand that life isn't about one woman a day and taking care of the bar. And that you have every right to do whatever you want. To be whoever you want.”
We both laughed as I wipe away the tears, trying to piece myself back together. As we go back to the kitchen, I tell her:
"Mary?”
"Yes, dear?”
“Thank you. I love you.”
She smiles at me.
"I love you more.”
***
To my surprise, Jo marked a spa day for both of us. We start with a relaxing massage, ofuro tub bath and then relaxation with hot stones. I was so relaxed that my body seemed to float. I should have suspected. It was too good to be true.
"Miss Walsh? Tsuki, our beautician, is waiting for you in the waxing room. At the end of the hall on your left.”
"In what room?” I ask, with an open mouth. I'm not so sure I want to go through a torture session.
"Waxing. Your friend scheduled a full waxing session for you.”
I'm gonna kill that bit... Damn it. I cannot swear at Mary, not after today. But still, what Jo did wasn't cool.
I thank the lady and follow her directions. I knock on the door and a short Asian lady welcomes me with a reassuring smile.
"Miss Walsh, welcome. You can take your clothes off behind that screen and put on your robe. When you're ready, lie down on the gurney.”
I go where she indicated and change clothes. Boy, I'm really nervous!
I lie down on the gurney and wait for my torturer, I mean, epilator.
"Rest