Tsvetana Alеkhina

The diary of the Tambov Wolf


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satisfied. I thought I was attractive. Height of one meter eighty. White skin, thick black hair, combed on the right side. A sharp nose, thin lips, wide cheekbones, and gray-green eyes attracted the attention of girls. Bringing the lace to my neck and putting it close, I watched how this thing would look on me. Throwing the phone on the bed, I made an irreparable mistake; I tied the shoelace into a knot while looking at my toes. Raising my head, I recoiled from the reflection; a black wolf with gray-green eyes was looking at me, standing on its hind legs. Not believing in what I saw, I touched myself with my hands, my hands and body remained the same, human. Coming closer to the mirror, a wolf was walking on its hind legs in the reflection; I stretched out my palm to the glass. A wolf’s paw touched me through the glass, and I felt cold. – What is it? How is that? I did not believe what I saw, and began to take off this fang. But to my surprise, I did not succeed. The knots were too tight. A wolf’s howl rose in my ears, an animal instinct took over my body in a split second. I wanted to tear up anyone who comes to hand. The craving for war, and with it for victory, called me to feats. I wanted to fight. Howl and fight. I did not even feel hungry, as a wolf usually feels. Continuing to try to remove the lace, I came to the kitchen and took a knife to cut the tourniquets that bound my neck. The incoming stop signal forbade me to do this. Driven by wolfish instincts, I went downstairs and started the car.

      October 2. Evening. Suburban forest. My feet brought me to the place where I found the ominous thing yesterday. The howling in his ears displaced all extraneous noises. – You are doing great! He came alone. A woman’s voice silenced the howling of wolves. Silence. I could hear my heart pounding. – No outsiders are needed here. Now give it to me. After these words, she appeared in front of me, a white wolf with human eyes. But, most of all me I was struck by the fact that she and I had the same gray-green eye color. The she-wolf was slowly coming at me, wagging her hips. If she had been in human form, she would not have left any man indifferent. Her strong paws slowly touched the wet foliage, she walked as if on a tightrope, smoothly and without fear. Her pale pink tongue licked her thin lips, revealing teeth as white as snow. There was nowhere to run, and there was no point. I could only wait for her approach, and then…

      Jump and I am on my shoulder blades. I remember her open mouth in front of my face. Her tail was banging against my legs. The paws pressed me to the ground with such force that I managed to estimate the weight of this individual. About eighty kilograms. Her teeth closed around my neck, and I thought this was the end. But she just threw a black leather cord over her fang and jumped off my half-dead body with lightning speed. Here, of course, there was magic, the lace untied itself, it did not have to be torn, and especially cut with a knife. The wolf disappeared as suddenly as it appeared. I remained motionless for about five minutes. Not believing what I saw, I felt my neck with my hand, trying to find the shoelace. Finally making sure he was not there, I got to my feet. Looking at myself, I realized that this was not a vision, and not a hallucination, and I did not even go crazy. Her paw prints were left on my jacket. White fluff covered my jeans and jacket. Apparently, this female changes her fur coat for the winter. For a moment, I realized that I was lost and did not know in which direction to go back to the car. The trees seemed the same. The foliage merged underfoot into one big spot. Frost covered my hair with a nasty cold. Finally coming to my senses, I slowly walked to the exit from this thicket of the forest. I did not want to go home. I realized that I had lost something very valuable, and I would never be able to get this thing back for myself. My wolfish instincts disappeared like lightning with the loss of this amulet. The wolf disappeared along with the amulet, and I did not hear her howling reluctantly getting into the car. And I really wanted to see her again. I realized that she was not dangerous. – What is it? Who is it? The adventure in the autumn forest touched my subconscious. I decided to get to the truth.

      Late in the evening, I got to my apartment. Despite the fact that it was hot in the apartment, I began to shake from the cold. Without taking off my warm clothes and without turning on the kettle, I took a hundred-gram bottle of whiskey from the kitchen cabinet and drank it in one gulp. At that time, it was the best cure for the stress experienced over the past 24 hours. The kettle turned on, my hands washed in hot water warmed up, my body is outside. Going into the bedroom, I forgot myself and I went to the wardrobe to get clean clothes, when I saw my reflection, I recoiled from the door and peered into my face. It seems like everything is the same as always, but something was wrong. My longitudinal nose looked like a wolf’s, my eyes burned with a wild fire in which savages danced around the fire. – What is it? When will it all end? The answer was not long in coming. A soft female whisper ran along the wall of my room.

      – It’s just started.

      Clean clothes, clean hands. Delicious and hot dinner. Anyway, the white wolf did not leave my head. She was beautiful, graceful, strong, and at the same time gentle. I will never forget how she carefully removed the leather cord from my chest by impaling it on one fang. Comparing the facts, I realized that the female voice that I heard belongs to this wolf. She was talking to me. —What then?» What is the conclusion? Is she a werewolf? This is a female werewolf. And most likely a blonde werewolf with gray-green eyes. Does this happen? No. There are no werewolves exists. This is a myth from horror movies. Since ancient times. The word of ancient times shocked me. So is the fang that I found yesterday from ancient times. Is it true? I was sitting on a stool leaning against the wall and could not believe my thoughts. Ancient times. Witches. Werewolves. Amulets. Witches were burned at the stake. There are no werewolves. But I saw him. And this werewolf is blonde. I wish I could see her in human form.

      Sleepless night. I could not get a wink of sleep. I did not know what to do. To share with someone about what happened or to keep everything a secret. Realizing that no one would believe me, and I did not want to let anyone into this secret, I decided to keep silent. My father called all morning, I did not give myself away by answering the call. The secret remained a secret. The image of the white wolf continued to haunt me, and I mentally tried to establish contact with her. Of course, I was more interested in her appearance. – What a wolf she is with human eyes. The weight of eighty kilograms is certainly noticeable. I imagined a plump girl with a long braid and lush breasts, round gray-green eyes, pupils running and burning with fire and a white, long, thick braid.

      The days spent in the apartment served my already depressed state. I used to enjoy my loneliness. After all, I could go to the forest, and I did not need anyone. Now I was afraid to go into the forest, and I did not know what to do with myself for a whole day. My best friend went on vacation. I am not going to work until tomorrow. I worked for three days. And all three days of the weekend I always had something to occupy myself with. I loved my job, for me it was something like social recreation. More precisely, I loved my team more, because there was always a line between work and weekends between the team and weekends, and, probably, I loved this line more, which did exactly what I needed from work so well. I was lonely and at the same time, I had a team and a salary, which I also loved so much. This time, the day spent at work lasted the equivalent of a week. Barely surviving the shift, I flew home even without smoking a cigarette with a colleague. And we loved doing it so much after work. Talk about different things and smoke near my car. Sometimes I gave him a ride home. When he asked for it.

      October 5. This morning I did not notice how I found myself in my car. I did not notice how I ended up at home. How I cooked breakfast and swallowed it in two minutes. Which was not there before. I always ate food slowly, listening to music or watching TV. My gait changed, my hearing became more acute, although I did not complain about it anyway. For the first three days, it seemed to me that everything that happens to me, including my appetite, is the consequences of going to the forest. My next shift at work was not easy for me. It was hard for me to be around people, they annoyed me. Although there was no such thing before, I always went to work with pleasure. The team was not unimportant to me. At the same time, three days spent at home had no less detrimental effect than a day at work. I could not understand what was happening to me. My best friend was supposed to be back from vacation