those of us who perhaps struggle with confidence also allowed to aim for greatness or does this now make us overly confident too?
Aaaaannd, do we even need to be aiming for greatness?
I'm confused.
Just as well the experts at the Institute for the Psychology of Elite Performance at Bangor University have extensively examined this very thing.
The reason I'm interested in this stuff is because I lack confidence. I'm more than comfortable sharing this with you. People don't tend to believe this because of my job. They see me on a stage doing what I do, they read my books and they assume my levels of confidence are intact. Truth is, I doubt myself regularly and beat myself up about it daily. I always have and it drives me crazy. So, I'm keen to know what the possible outcomes of this are.
Firstly, what is low confidence? I'm told low confidence is the state of thinking that we are not quite ready to face an upcoming task. Cool, check. That's me all the time, it was me all through school and it's me now, pacing up and down backstage, wondering why I'm doing this, questioning why anyone is going to listen to me!
So, what happens then when we are lacking in confidence? Well, in this case, one of two things happens: either we disengage from the task … not ideal. Or we invest extra effort into preparing for it.
Not all bad then.
In one of the studies, participants were required to skip with a rope continuously for one minute. Participants were then told that they had to repeat the task but using a more difficult rope to skip with (in fact it was the exact same type of rope). Results revealed that confidence actually decreased but performance improved.
Sooooo, what you're telling me is that self‐doubt can be quite beneficial? Exactly. It can, in many ways, make us better. It can, in fact lead to an increase in effort, we try harder.
Now let's consider the role of overconfidence. A high level of confidence is usually helpful for performing tasks because it can lead you to strive for difficult goals. But high confidence can also be detrimental when it causes you to lower the amount of effort you give towards these goals.
Overconfidence often makes people no longer feel the need to invest all of their effort – think of that person you know who studies less for upcoming exams.
Interestingly, research shows that when you believe you are better than you really are, it will have a negative effect on whatever the task is at hand and your performance essentially dips.
Unfortunately, there is another common side effect to overconfidence, it's called dickheadedness. We all know one.
So, this is good news for those of us who lack confidence but still care enough to want to do well and give our all in life … and maybe even dare to be great at something?
Don't Let the World Make You Normal
Let's be honest, the world isn't going to change to accommodate you. If you're waiting for everything to fall into place, for that perfect moment, and only then will you start living your best life – you'll die waiting.
‘Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.’
—Howard Thurman
The modern world is, on the whole, rather amazing. Yes, I know the news is bad, social media gets our back up and parents go on about everything being better back in the day. But I'm not convinced by that argument. I said the modern world was ‘amazing’, not ‘perfect’. Modern life throws up all sorts of obstacles to our wellbeing. We're not built to sit in our bedrooms all day, staring at screens. We're not built to be alone. We're not built to fill our bodies with junk food and energy drinks. We're not built to stay still.
We're built to move, run, jump and even dance. We're built for the outdoors. We're built to learn, to be creative. We're built for communities, togetherness and to be part of a movement. We're built to eat wholesome foodstuffs and drink water. We're built to grow and get better.
What's really cool, is that right now, at your age, you can start to build the world you want for you. Unfortunately, for many years, humans haven't always got this right. We have in so many ways got it very, very wrong.
And the result is a tiredness. An unhealthiness. A mental ill‐health.
But look closely at the world. The opposite is also true. There is an energy about it. A healthiness. A mental wellness. Sometimes we need to search hard to find it, but it's there. And you're allowed to be inspired by it, to learn from it, to absorb it, to contribute to it, to be a part of it, to lead it.
There's always time to chill. There's always time to scroll. There's always time to stop and do nothing, sometimes we need to! But it's too easy to do that all the time.
Sitting in your trackies, basking in the glow of your phone for hours on end won't get you to where you want to be. You've already worked out that the weeks are getting faster, time stops for no one.
Look, I'm pretty sure you're switched on to this stuff. You probably look after yourself more than the media would give you credit for.
But too many of us are tired. Bored. Fed up. Stressed. Angry.
I can assure you though, there is a solution and it's cheap.
No, it's not a Red Bull on the way to school. Or a Monster to get you through your studies. It's way more healthy than that. Your body and brain are not built for those drinks, hence the reason you would die if you drank too many of them. Literally, don't drink them, ever.
When I say the solution is cheap, it is. It doesn't cost any money, but it does cost time and energy. And better still, you're built to do it….
What if the secret was in our heads – more specifically our thinking – and we could maintain some of that youthful, carefree exuberance that we had when we were 4, but now, in your teens and for the rest of your life before society snaps you up and pops you on the treadmill to Grownupsville?
It was a different kind of energy at that age, never forced. You weren't fussed about the news. Life excited you. You had zero issues with Mondays and puddles were not to be avoided.
‘Only children believe they’re capable of everything.’
—Paulo Coelho
Growing Up Is Optional
Think back to when you were about 7 years old and your teacher gave you a reading book that you had already read the year before with your previous teacher.
How'd that make you feel?
I'll tell you how it made the kids feel the first time I made that mistake as a teacher.
Furious. They were furious with me.
Why?
Because at the age of 7, we want nothing more than to be moved up a reading level. The only thing we want more than that is for all our classmates to see, hear and hopefully acknowledge that we've been moved up!
In fact, the only thing we want more than this is to see the look of pride on our parents’ faces.
This was