it?” I still loved Riley, but then I had put an end to that, so marrying Stan would probably sort me out – did I need sorting out? Well apparently I have broken up Stan’s marriage, and he has left and moved to Sydney with a new job and everything. So yes, I need to be sorted out.
I had been used to catching planes at the last minute – like my mother – and it never occurred to me that ships were any different and had to wait for tides and stuff. Stan and I arrived at the overseas terminal at Circular Quay, and walked towards the gangway. I was about to put my foot on the first step when it gave a shudder, and there was a shout from somewhere or other, and then a couple of officers looking marvellous in their white uniforms appeared at the top of the steps. The gangway steadied and they motioned for me to walk up. I walked up with Stan, and by the time we got to the top there were more officers standing waiting, as I handed over my passport.
“Aaah Miss Carroll” one of them said, “we wondered where you were.”
“Oh really. It just says 3 pm and I thought …”
“Yes of course Miss Carroll.”
“So here I am.”
Laughter all round, no doubt laughing at such a stupid girl!
“Yes Miss Carroll, here you are.”
“I’m terribly sorry. Did I, have I …?”
“No no Miss Carroll. Welcome aboard. We will do everything we can to make sure you have a wonderful trip.”
“Thank you, and you and you and …”
The Purser stepped forward with my passport.
“Follow me, Miss Carroll.” So off I went to his office to complete formalities, and then he gave me the key and instructions to my cabin. My parents were not boarding till Brisbane, so Stan and I then went to the cabin on the boat deck. It was lovely and full of flowers – from Stan.
“Just remember, Janny, I love you.”
“Yes.”
“And you love me.” I smiled. “Yes.” I had no trouble saying that, because I did love him. I was just in love with Riley.
“And you’ll be back in my arms in six months.”
“Yes.”
He knew we didn’t have much time and it was just as well because we didn’t want this to be drawn out. He took me in his arms and held me. Then he turned and walked out the door – still an officer and a gentleman.
I sat on one of the bunks for a while before I went out on deck and searched for him in the waving crowd. I soon realised he would not have waited there. People were yelling and there were streamers all over the place and as the ship pulled away they broke, one after the other. I wasn’t sure how I felt as I watched the streamers stretch as far as they could before snapping and then falling and trailing in the water. Was it sadness? But why, I was on a round the world trip – but all the streamers were breaking – were all the connections breaking? No. I didn’t want that. I waited on deck and watched Sydney slowly slide past, until we had gone through the heads. Would I be seasick soon? Apparently not. I soon discovered that I never felt sick in the cabin or outside on the boat deck, but only if I went inside and down the stairs or the lift – whooo.
My parents boarded in Brisbane and then it was off to see the world. My mother had booked the two of us in a four berth cabin and apparently my father was somewhere else. He had always been “somewhere else”, so I didn’t bother asking where, until half way through the trip.
“Why isn’t Daddy in the cabin with us? After all, it is a 4 berth cabin.”
“Oh Jan! Can you imagine …” She left the question hanging in the air. Actually no, I couldn’t. So she was right. He hadn’t been a fixture in our lives and so here we were, and there he was. Satisfaction all round. My father dutifully appeared every evening outside the restaurant to escort my mother and I in for dinner. Such a weird situation, but I accepted it without qualm. This was a family of separates apparently, and as long as we didn’t intrude on the others territory we could all get along. Nothing of importance was ever discussed, so I was not aware of anything of importance that ever happened to us. The only thing of importance to me was that I not be anywhere in the vicinity of my mother if she had one too many glasses of Whisky or cocktails or alcohol of any description. But so far on this ship she had not, and seemed to actually be enjoying life. And why not? She had plenty to do if she wanted and loved getting dressed for dinner and walking in to a room full of people – she could still turn heads. But not my father’s. He had seen a different person all too often. So my mother could appear first and enjoy her favourite cocktail – one - and then I would swan in and my father would arrive just in time to escort us in to dinner, giving every appearance of the happy family.
I eventually did decide to investigate my father’s whereabouts one afternoon and discovered that I had to go inside and down the stairs or the lift. I chose the lift and when I got out I had to walk towards the front – the bow. I hadn’t noticed much movement of the ship before, but now I discovered I had to hang on to the railing as the ship lurched up before smashing down again into the trough, with an added roll from side to side for good measure. What on earth is he doing down here, I wondered. And then – at last - Why is he down here? Whose idea was this? Then it was run, run, run up and then wham, slither, slide downhill till I arrived at the pointy end and outside his cabin door.
“Bub!” he exclaimed as he opened the door.”
“God, Pop, what on earth are you doing down here? Whoops.”
“Yes, hang on.” We gingerly made our way to his bunk and sat down hurriedly.
“God Daddy, this is ridiculous.”
“No, I love it, bub, it’s great.”
“But Pop, you can’t stand up!”
“I’m sharing with the Chaplain.”
“Oh well, I can see you’ll have the Bible to talk about, but how do you sleep or move about with this ..” as the ship heaved itself up again. “And how do you shave?”
“With difficulty” he laughed, “but I’ve got plenty of time.”
“And you can have the last rites, if necessary, I suppose.” We laughed. And there would be lots of discussion about the Bible – perhaps Daddy should have been a priest. We chatted on a bit longer while I clutched onto the bunk bed and then we lapsed into silence and it was time for me to go.
“See you for dinner, Bub.”
“OK Pop, that’s if I make it back up on deck. See you then.” So clearly he was happy with his situation, so satisfaction all round. Some time later the Chaplain made a point of asking me if I wanted to go to confession. No I did not. He then told me that he heard the Confessions of all the crew.
“The Officers too, Jan.” I looked at him.
“Oh well, I suppose that was interesting.”
“It was, my dear, you would have been very interested.” What did he mean by that? He was too sly for me and I made sure I avoided him in future.
I was sound asleep one morning and was woken by a hand stroking my hair and lips brushing my cheek.
“Mmmm who – aagh, you! What are you – how did you …?”
“But Jan darling, I am the Purser. I can …
“Well you shouldn’t just – I was asleep …
“Si so beaut …”
“No, no. Not. You have to leave now – yes, now. I’m not wearing – I’m …
“Si, not.”
“You have to go now, now,