bright store, I love it when there is a lot of light, everything is so bright and flashy, I want to touch and smell everything. But I shove these tantalizing images away and head straight for the rotating showcase of lip care products. At the very top I see a caring hygienic lipstick, it's the only one left, I reach for it, grab it with my hands, turn around, but I can't leave, because my hand is covered with a warm, large palm. Stop! What? I don't understand… What is it? I turn my head in bewilderment at what's happening, and I see
smiling dark eyes. They were so appealing and were looking at me so intently. This is the first time I've ever seen such a shade of eye color… Let me think… That's my favorite drink! Coffee-colored eyes. Not cappuccino, of course, but like a tart espresso. When he walked around the window without letting go of my hand, I just opened my mouth in surprise. Now I could see him all the way up, wearing a black cap pulled forward, covering almost half of his face, a black bomber, a black T-shirt, and light blue jeans. I can't even move, let alone say anything, and I just stand there like an idol. I am so impressed by his appearance. He seems so huge compared to me. And it's clearly not my grandmother's mezzanine, it's at least a closet.
– I didn't know angels could come down to us from heaven…
That's it! Curtain! You can relax. I exhaled noisily and rolled my eyes at those words. What? I can't believe I blew it like that. That's such a spectacular exit, and it's all ruined. Was he serious? What was I supposed to do? Fall at his feet and melt like last year's snow? Well, I
have to hand it to him, the low timbre of his voice, combined with his beautiful coffee-colored eyes, would make any girl's heart beat faster. It's a shame that half his face is hidden behind a mask. The shape of his lips can say a lot about the person he's talking to. I involuntarily bit my lower lip at the thought of them.
– I don't know about the angels, but I'm straight from hell. – That's it! Checkmate! My inner girl did a somersault.
His eyes sparkled and small lines appeared in the corners of his eyes, so he smiled. Strange, I thought my words would at least temper his ardor or scare him off.
– Excuse me, little miss, who is straight from hell. I am also very fond of this particular brand of lipstick, but as a gentleman I give it to you. – Without letting go of my hand, he turned my palm, and put the very lipstick I had chosen on top of it with his warm palm.
– Thank you…– I barely spoke, stammering and blushing a little, not expecting such a reaction from him.
I had to tilt my head back to see his face. Oh, that was a fatal mistake on my part, because you could drown in those eyes… He leaned lower, and I could see the sparkle in his eyes, the sheer pleasure of his superiority, of being able to embarrass me so easily.
– I'll see you again, little miss. – he winked, before disappearing as suddenly as he'd appeared.
I stood there for a few more seconds, holding my arms out in the air. What was that? I shook my head and exhaled noisily, looking around. There was no one around, no sign of him. You'd think this was a well-thought-out scenario… My gut told me it wouldn't be the last time we'd meet. As I walked to the checkout counter, I felt warmth where his palms touched me. I held out my merchandise to pay and get out of here as quickly as possible. Because I could feel my cheeks burning, I must be red as a cancer. I hope this fancy SS cream hides my blush, or I'll fall to the ground in shame.
– Hello! Your order has been paid for and you were asked to pass this on.
An envelope was handed to me. A small, red, unremarkable envelope. I wondered what was in it.
– Thank you! But who paid, can I find out?
– A tall man, wearing a black cap. He refused to tell us his name, but assured us that you would understand.
– Oh-oh-oh… Even so… Okay, thank you.
– We look forward to seeing you in our store again!
When did he manage to do all this? Write a letter and pay in a couple of minutes? It's beyond the realm of possibility. Or did he skillfully fend off pesky information about the week's promotions and sales. I can hardly believe it. I went outside and looked at the envelope, it said "For Little Miss," and I rolled my eyes at the inscription. Inside, of course,
was a note, where a few lines were written briefly and clearly "Call me 022309071990. Viho."
I turned to throw away the lipstick box, and I heard the sound of a car pulling away, it abruptly moved away and quickly drove away. What kind of driving is that? I don't know what you're in such a hurry for. I automatically put the note in my coat pocket and walked down the street smiling blissfully. Oh… Those beautiful, coffee-colored eyes… I wouldn't forget
them, but I wouldn't dare call. Past relationships have thrown me off my game. I mean, not at all. I chose me. It was the hardest decision for me. It was excruciatingly painful, but the right decision of my life. Feeling disrespected day after day, and the depth of despair from feeling unwanted. And love? Was there ever love? It is too strong and deep a feeling to throw it away. To love is not to devalue feelings, it is to show care and no indifference. Love is
finding time to be alone with "your" person for five minutes. It's about not being left alone when you're in trouble, about cherishing your feelings. And to fear that there will come a time when you will be lost. At this point in my life's journey, I choose loneliness. I love solitude, already for the fact that I don't have to make excuses for my actions. I don't need to be afraid, fear no longer shackles me with iron fetters, I can breathe with my full breath. I no longer have to endure someone else's presence, restricting myself to everything. Freedom is intoxicating and liberating. I've also finally accepted myself. Falling in love with someone emotionally is easier than loving myself. The hardest work is the work of accepting myself. It was incredibly difficult for me. But I got through it, as I always do. My inner warrior does not accept defeat. This warrior has saved my life more than once, keeping panic from spilling over into my head. An iron rod that keeps my back straight, no matter what. I say thank you to myself.
I try to divert my thoughts from the man in the black cap, who burst like a hurricane into my regular life, to something really important. It's hard… Those little wrinkles in the corners of his coffee-colored eyes don't leave my mind. It must be possible to fall in love with his smile. I haven't felt spring in my heart in a long time… Mr. Viho is probably not lacking in female attention. So put him out of your mind, my girl. After all, I'm interviewing for my dream job tomorrow and I hope I do well. I didn't spend my days and nights studying languages for nothing. In fact, I love satiating myself with new knowledge, greedily swallowing every
thought. I gain a sense of superiority, knowledge makes me more confident and gives me inner strength. At the very least, I will do my best to get a place in such a well-known and large company. It's at least a ticket to a good life, not just for me. I've worked too long and too hard for this to let the excitement break me. Now run home, because the love of my life is waiting for me there. My protector, and my rock. I put on my headphones and start the music player on my phone. One of my favorite tracks is playing. I close my eyes and take a deep breath of the cool, spring breeze, and goosebumps run through my body, a kind of "emotional chill." Music has one wonderful ability, when it hits you, you find yourself in another universe, where you stop feeling pain. Sometimes music is my only escape from the cruelty of this world.
Thunder rumbles, storm, haze,
You can't find me.
I will be covered by white, white snow.
With celestial dust,
I shall be scattered.
To rise again,
And to be happy.
I am always very anxious before important events in my life. Sleep does not come. I just turn into an owl and suffer from insomnia. I wander slowly through the half-empty house, trying not to wake anyone up. Quietly, tiptoeing through the hallways, I see that the lights are already off everywhere except