Монолог. A.K.

’t close my eyes

      Kept thinking, fancying, wondering

      Of where would I’ve been tonight.

      If I listened to myself

      If I trusted my own heart

      If I wasn’t so afraid to show what I am really like.

      If I got out of my bed

      If I practiced, practiced more

      If I mastered that piano

      'Cause I wanted that for sure.

      If I plucked up all my courage

      If I stopped rely on luck

      If I thought «I’ll make it happen»,

      Never tortured my own mind.

      If I never doubted my gifts

      If I followed my own light

      If I fell and then got straight up

      But I never really tried.

      If I wasn’t fearing future

      If I took care of myself

      If I asked for help I wanted

      I would certainly gain strength.

      If I closed my ears when people

      Tried to talk me to what’s right

      If I could decide for myself

      Would it lead to happy life?

      If I knew I could’ve managed

      To stay loyal to myself

      And I know I have what’s needed

      To make all of the success.

      What a life i would have had?

      If I listened to myself.

      If I got out of my bed.

      Wouldn’t that be really great?

      Pine cone

      It was such a lovely day

      I felt calmness in my veins

      Begged for it to never change

      Mind set free from all the pain.

      I was walking through the trees

      Chirping birds, my heart at ease

      Digging into memories

      I have never felt like this.

      No one’s there to crash my soul

      Feeling loved all by my own

      In my hand – a small pine cone

      Causing me to smile more.

      Blazing sun, I raised my head

      Here’s pointless to pretend

      And as my cheeks now turned red

      Time to finally go back.

      Fracture

      Fragile or fractured?

      Now hard to tell.

      To be a wave

      Or to warn and burn like a flame?

      To face it all

      And no matter what,

      Just be brave?

      Or run from all,

      So no matter what,

      Be ashamed?

      To fall and fly again

      Through the dark?

      Or fall and drown in pain

      On the ground?

      To be alive or to never try?

      To never hide,

      Or never fight?

      Disguise

      Bizarre, that’s right

      I’m here, I tried

      Shot down, I’m tired

      Too steep to climb.

      I’m out of sight

      I’m running wild