me laugh.” He couldn’t help giggling. “Why on earth did you think that a nobleman and advisor like Sanery would condescend to meeting with you? You are an interpreter, which is no better than a tool in his hands. A hammer, if you will. You’re picked up when needed and set down when there are more important matters to attend to!”
“Me? A hammer? I didn’t come here to be insulted. Who are you, anyway? My instructions clearly state that I am supposed to meet with the ambassador in person. Are you the ambassador? No. Give me my recommendation back. I won’t leave this house until I see Ontius Sanery. He can’t possibly have anything more important to do than talking to me at the moment!”
“You are correct, young man,” rang out a pleasant baritone. Uni turned and saw a man slightly taller than himself, with a slight paunch and gray eyes that shone with a sincere smile. It was the smile that surprised him more than anything.
“Forgive me, I was engaged when you arrived,” the ambassador continued. “Groki here undertook to entertain you. I hope he was not…overly familiar.” At this, Sanery’s smile grew even sweeter.
Uni gave what he hoped was a proper bow. “Of course not, we had a delightful time.”
Sanery bowed slightly, in perfect accordance with palace etiquette. “Let us take our conversation into the other room,” he gestured with a plump hand toward the room he had just come out of. “Please, follow me.”
Suddenly overcome with shyness, Uni walked quickly into the room, only afterwards remembering that he should have let his host enter first. Sanery made no notice. Shutting the door behind them, he gestured for his guest to sit down on one of the cushions arranged on the gorgeous red and gold carpet. “In Mustobrim, they say that chairs put unnecessary distance between people. I’m sure you are as motivated as I am to establish good rapport during our first meeting.”
“Of course,” said Uni, nervously glancing around the room. He noted the whitewashed walls and the pale blue frieze. The ceiling was supported by four columns of carved wood, and the elegant carved screens and bookshelves between them created a pleasant place for intimate conversation.
“Antiques from Mustobrim,” Uni realized in a flash. Long ago, he had seen a very old book that described rooms just like this. “All that’s missing are the weapons on the walls.” Just then, he noticed a pair of handsome daggers hanging on one wall. He was impressed by the ambassador’s simple good taste.
He turned to face the man. “Esteemed Enel Sanery, it would be an honor for me to work with you to further the good of the Empire and our Heavenly Lord! Allow me to humbly hand you my recommendations, which confirm…”
“No need!” Sanery waved a hand at the scroll Uni held out. He invited Uni to sit down on a cushion and did the same. “These formalities are a waste of time. The Emperor wishes for you to do the job, and there’s no one else who can do it. It’s already been decided. Anyway, that’s not why I wanted to see you, Enel Virando. Would you like some tea?”
“I would, thank you. You can call me Uni. That’s what my friends call me.”
The young interpreter immediately took a liking to Sanery. He didn’t feel like he was talking to a much higher-ranking nobleman. His new superior was very approachable, and his round head, with its bald spots and slightly protruding ears, gave him an almost humorous air.
Sanery stretched his legs out. “They say that wine is the drink of the wise, and that grand ideas come to those that try it,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “Do not believe it! Tea is the wondrous drink that brings man closer to the greatest secrets of life. The Mustobrims drink it without the addition of other herbs, but very hot and very sweet. It’s an expensive habit, but worth it. You should try it. You’ll like it!”
The fashion for tea had reached the Empire via Capotian merchants, but it did not grow in Capotia. As far as anyone knew, it only grew in the Land of the One True God, where the monks used it to stay awake for prayers that lasted for days at a time. Sevelia Virando had been known to object strenuously to the Capotians introducing good Herandians to their odd tastes solely so they could fill their deep pockets with more gold. Uni began to suspect that his new superior had done his part in enriching the Capotians, who controlled all the trade in tea, including its sale in stores throughout the Empire. Nonetheless, he gratefully accepted the dish of tea he was handed and imbibed the steaming liquid. It left an unfamiliar but not unpleasant taste in his mouth.
“Wonderful!” he exclaimed.
“I’m delighted to see you have no trouble adapting to foreign customs,” Sanery praised him. “I think you will make an excellent diplomat. I was told that you know a great deal about Virilan in addition to the language. Is that so?”
“Your praise of my modest talent is flattering.”
“Oh, there’s no flattery here. Believe me, the key to a country’s heart is a solid knowledge of its customs and traditions. It’s also the best way to achieve what you want in negotiations. All barbarians – all foreigners, I suppose – tend to trust those in whom they see something of themselves. It’s the only way to approach them. Serious proposals, flattery, even gifts are pointless if you are unable to gain the friendship of the person you are negotiating with. That is the first rule of imperial diplomacy.” He gave a wry smile. “Did you think I just collect these things,” he waved a hand around the room, “because it’s a hobby?”
“Of course not!”
“You did. Everyone does. But let me tell you, all the things you see in my home play an important role in my missions. Do you know why I’ve never had a mission fail? I’ll tell you. It’s because of these things.” Sanery looked around the room with obvious pleasure. “Yes, these antiques are my best helpers in the difficult work of diplomacy. How else could I gain such a deep understanding of a foreign culture? You must know more than what is on your partner’s mind. That’s the first mistake most diplomats make – they try to calculate everything, as if people were pieces in a board game. Remember this: even the most influential people live by feeling, emotion, faith, and all sorts of other irrational things. Only the Heavenly Deity can possibly know everything about a culture!”
Uni’s head was swimming. “You mean the things you collect help you take on the character of the people you negotiate with?”
“Of course. You can’t begin to understand a Torg if you’ve never run your hand over the skin of a wild animal he just brought down. And you’ll never understand a Mustobrim if you’ve never tried tea. I won’t even start on the Arincils. I see you’ve understood me perfectly. I will take that as a sign that we will work well together.”
“I’ll do everything to keep from disappointing you, I promise!”
“I have no doubt that we will enjoy the greatest of trust. You’ve never been on a delegation before, but don’t let that worry you. Everyone has to start somewhere. I know next to nothing about Virilan, so you will be my teacher.”
“How could I ever be your teacher?”
“I mean exactly what I said. You aren’t just my interpreter. One of your most important jobs will be to keep all of us from making mistakes.”
“Do you mean…”
“Exactly! Every culture has unwritten rules of behavior. Imagine some sort of prohibition that a local would never think of violating, but a foreigner would know nothing about. You will be responsible for keeping us out of hot water.”
Uni nodded. “Because there’s no one else who can do it.”
“Precisely. I will not bore you by reminding you of the heavy responsibility on your young shoulders. I will just warn you that there will be times that you will have to be my eyes and ears.”
“I understand. This is amazing…and unexpected. You are too kind to me, Enel Sanery!”
Sanery beamed. “You aren’t afraid of hard work, I see. I hope that’s because you are young