looked back and realized that this was not the end of the conversation.
– Do you want to add anything to our conversation about Olivia’s move? – he looked at Vanessa and saw in her eyes the deep pain of despair and tears that flowed down her cheeks.
– No, I want to talk about you and me. How will we live now? After all, since our wedding, our relationship has changed a lot and not for the better. I’ve been worried about this for a very long time, but I couldn’t find the moment to talk about it with you. You act like we’re fine, everything’s fine. But obviously this is not the case. We should have talked about this earlier, I don’t understand why I was silent for so long. I think you should think about this. Perhaps what I say will seem stupid and insignificant to you.
Louis looked at his wife in surprise, expecting that the conversation would end there, but he was mistaken. Vanessa continued her monologue.
– You don’t think I’m the smartest woman, I know, don’t deny the obvious. You never once reproached me for not working a day, and I wasn’t involved in raising Olivia either; I was constantly traveling after her birth. In these travels, I didn’t notice how one day was like another, I didn’t know what routine was in marriage, I didn’t understand women who said that marriage was strangling them. No one was holding me back, I was free to do whatever I wanted. Even after Olivia was born, I couldn’t stand three months at home with the baby and flew off on another trip. And when I returned, my daughter didn’t even want to come into my arms. Would a normal loving mother do this to her child? I think no. It’s hard for me to say this, but it’s like she’s a stranger to me, as if she’s not my child. I still don’t understand her, I don’t know what she is like. “I’m a bad mother for her,” Vanessa concluded her monologue with these words.
Louis was shocked by such words and thoughts, which she had obviously been carrying within herself for a long time. He did not understand how all these years he could not notice such different attitudes towards Olivia and Inessa. And it’s true that there was coldness towards the first from her very birth, while she practically never parted with the second until the moment Inessa left for England.
– Vanessa! Stop! Stop saying such terrible words. I know that you are not on the closest and best terms with Olivia, but I have never heard her complain about the lack of attention on your part,” saying this, he hoped that his wife’s confession would end there. At her husband’s words, Vanessa only smiled a bitter smile.
“She doesn’t say anything only because she doesn’t know a good mother, better than me.” But I think that with the appearance of Inessa, she felt the difference,” she continued her monologue, looking into the twilight approaching night, and not only in nature. It was as if she had not heard what Louis had told her before. This angered him and he stopped her speech in a rather rude manner.
– Vanessa! Shut up! – he almost shouted to silence her. But her reaction was rather strange, she looked at him with an incomprehensible gaze, as if she had not heard his scream.
“You’re not listening to me,” she continued in an offended tone. This completely drove him crazy, probably for the first time in his life he had to raise the tone of his voice to make a person hear him.
– Shut up! “I don’t intend to listen to your nonsense anymore,” his cry echoed throughout the garden, after which he got up and left, leaving his wife alone. Vanessa knew that he could not stand her tears, and therefore did not even hope that he would return to comfort her. She also left the gazebo and went to the fountain, which was in the depths of the garden. Louis walked along the path towards the house and hoped that Vanessa would follow him, but almost reaching the house, he looked back and did not hear his wife’s steps. He had to walk back to the gazebo, but when he got there and looked inside, Vanessa was not there. He listened to sounds in the garden, but there was no hint of anyone’s presence other than himself. There was a feeling that she simply evaporated like stardust, dissolved in the air. Only the crowns of the trees rustled softly and reminded him of that soft and warm autumn when Vanessa agreed to become his wife. It was the happiest autumn for both.
“We had a fight again,” Ludovic thought to himself with annoyance, “but before that didn’t bother me, it’s strange. All this talk about our imminent separation from Olivia revealed so many problems that existed before, but for some reason we didn’t talk about them. Do I… have a soul?” – the question asked to himself surprised him. Of course he had a soul, but his heart was stone ice. All people are accustomed to considering it something living, but for him it was just a piece of meat, a muscle that only distilled blood in the body and nourished other organs. The indifference with which he lived towards people admired and horrified at the same time. Neither screams, nor tears, nor pleas had any effect on him. He always made decisions and acted exclusively on conditions favorable to him. People who interacted with him on business matters were amazed at the predatory grace with which he managed his affairs and the gentle way he treated his wife and daughters at receptions and celebrations. His favorite expression was the words: “Just because you exist, this does not mean that you live.”
Olivia found him in such deep thought in the gazebo.
– Where is mom?
Louis was silent, and then calmly answered:
– I do not know where she is. We had a little fight, and I thought that she would follow me, but when I got home, I realized that she was not there. I returned here, but she was no longer here.
– What do you mean she was no longer there? And where is she?
– I don’t know, I think somewhere nearby, at least she definitely hasn’t disappeared.
Olivia was upset by her father’s attitude towards her mother and wanted them to find her.
– Dad! – Olivia looked sternly at her father, “Aren’t you worried about what’s wrong with your mother?”
“She’s safe and sound, and you’re being too dramatic.” Let’s go into the house, she’s probably already at home and waiting for us.
– Are you sure? – the daughter asked her father in a suspicious tone.
– Yes, I’m sure she was overtired, the conversation was not easy for her. The news is very unexpected.
All these words from her father and his obvious indifference hurt Olivia. There were tears in her eyes, and she repeated the same phrase in a whisper:
– How can you be so indifferent?
A minute later she was overcome with rage, mixed with pity for her mother, and she began to yell:
– How can you be so indifferent?! – the air shook under her scream, tearing her father’s soul, touching him to the quick that lived in the depths of his cold heart. He made an effort and hugged his daughter. She didn’t even try to escape.
– Well, don’t cry, mom will be found, let’s go into the house.
Olivia removed his hands from her and, looking at him, said:
– As always, yes, everything will be fine? You don’t have it any other way.
“Yes, you’re right,” Louis left his daughter in the gazebo, and he quickly walked towards the house. His temples were pounding with anger; he was angry that Olivia, who had not known her mother’s love for many years, defended her so fiercely. A swarm of thoughts swirled in his head.
“What ‘s going on this evening? The two of them decided to finish me off. Is it really not obvious to Olivia that there is such a different attitude towards her and Inessa? If she had disappeared, Vanessa would hardly have been so worried, but while looking for Inessa, she would have made the planet spin in the opposite direction, so long as nothing happened to precious Inessa. Devil”.
When he entered the house, his voice