Alexandra Kryuchkova

Confession of a Ghost. F.M. Dostoevsky award. Playing Another Reality


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creature. You’re inclined towards cognition of the Subtle World. Don’t get hung up on trifles and don’t accumulate material wealth in reserve, try to get rid of the earthly as much as possible. Take out the keys from your Treasure Island.”

      A bunch of keys appeared in my hand. I opened the door, stepped inside and found myself … in a room with a fabulous Christmas tree glittering by the window and an aristocratic-looking ghost sitting in an armchair. He came up to me and said with a sad smile,

      “Hello, my little princess!”

      “Hello!” I was extremely surprised.

      “Your great-grandfather,” said the Guardian. “A well-known personality of his time, written about even outside your country, Rukh. Representative of the ancient Glinsky family.”

      “Glinsky?” I asked.

      “Elena Glinskaya was the mother of Tsar Ivan the Terrible,” the Ghost sighed. “For a certain period she even ruled Russia. She was accused of witchcraft and poisoned, but it’s not the point now. I came here to cheer you up, because we won’t meet on Earth. My incarnation took place in 1883, I returned to Heaven in 1945, two years after the birth of my grandson, your father. Once we had several mansions in Moscow, practically next to the Kremlin, in Gazetny Lane, in Kolobovsky Lane and so on. It’s quite possible that you’ll even visit one on Herzen Street. After the revolution, I lived here, in this flat on Tverskaya Street, where you’ll spend your first four years on Earth … One day and quite unexpectedly, you’ll receive the Nobility Certificate. Consider it my little gift. Unfortunately, even the jewels that survived the revolution were exchanged for food during the war. However, your chest of relics will keep my old emerald-colored glass, several photographs and a pre-revolutionary book with fabulous illustrations, signed and gifted to me by a famous artist.”

      “Your great-grandfather was known all over Moscow, they greeted him on the street, taking off their hats,” the Guardian whispered.

      “Don’t talk about me,” the Ghost said modestly.

      “One day,” the Guardian continued enigmatically, “you’ll take out an old photo album, and one picture will fall out of it, on the reverse side…”

      “Oh yes!” exclaimed the Ghost. “There will be a letter, Rukh. I wrote it to a woman with your earthly name, I didn’t send it. I suppose it was for you, so that you don’t despair. We are always there, even invisible. Besides, you can be proud of us – we did no harm to people and bore hardships with patience.”

      All of a sudden everything disappeared. Rather, the scenery in the room changed. I found myself in a tiny kitchen of a wooden house. It smelled of fried mushrooms, bundles of dried herbs hung on ropes along the walls, and a kerosene lamp was lit up on the table. It was raining outside the window. The ghost of the hanged man appeared in front of me.

      “Hello, Rukh! I’m really sorry! I wanted you to live here forever!” he said and just as suddenly disappeared.

      I looked at the Guardian in surprise, but before I had time to ask him, the house… caught fire and instantly turned to ash.

      The scenery changed again. Now it was a room with pen-written wallpaper, a small bed, a huge antique mirror and… a piano. In the flickering of burning candles, the room was filled with the sounds of the Moonlight Sonata, and ghosts appeared out of the mirror. They drew me into their whirlwind dance, and I heard their voices, all, at the same time, from all directions.

      “Pray for us! She killed us! Tell our children we love them!”

      “I didn’t mean to kill them! Everything was for him! He left me alone! They took me to Hell! I feel bad! So bad! Pray for me!”

      “Forgive me! I knew everything, but I was afraid of changes!”

      “You feel and know everything! I abandoned my son, and God abandoned me!”

      “You’re right, Rukh! There are too many ghosts here, it’s dangerous! Go out of here! Run away!”

      “I shouldn’t have done that! Don’t feel angry with me!”

      “Sorry, Rukh! God punished us depriving of children!”

      I clutched my eyes in horror! Who were all these ghosts?! Suddenly the music stopped. I opened my eyes, but now I saw rapidly changing pictures of different flats. They appeared and immediately disappeared. Simultaneously, one by one, the keys on the bunch melted. How many were there? Five? Ten? Twenty? I heard other people’s caustic voices in every room.

      “She’s crazy! I don’t want her to live with us!”

      “Fool! She sees ghosts everywhere!”

      “Nothing can be done with such wretched children!”

      “A witch’s granddaughter! Everything she dreams about comes true! Yesterday she predicted today’s death of that woman! What is she here for?”

      “She writes poems and letters to Heaven! This miserable child is not of this world! Sooner or later she’ll kill herself, like Tsvetaeva or Mayakovsky! Let Heaven take care of her!”

      “The right place for the church choir singer is the monastery!”

      “She has nothing to do here! She doesn’t eat watermelon with forks!”

      “Did I promise you any flat? Who the hell are you?!”

      It seemed like I was going mad. All of a sudden everything became quiet. I saw a small room full of icons, with the Royal Family one in the center. It was the place where I had been in my hypothetical Future!

      “Hey, Rukh, don’t be afraid,” I heard and turned around. A woman in a white sparkling dress stood in front of me. “I am Juno, Hera in Greek mythology, the goddess of marriage and family, daughter of Saturn and wife of Jupiter, mother of Mars and Vulcan, sister of Pluto, Neptune, Ceres and Vesta. Once, the month of June was named after me, they celebrated the women’s holiday Matronalia on March 01, and now the International Women’s Day is celebrated on March 08.”

      “So, are you my mom?”

      “No, I’m the symbol of wife, I show you as a wife, what you are like in your family, with whom you feel good. On the threshold of the Family House, I signify a soul inclined towards family. The family for you is the main foundation, solid ground under your feet, a reliable rear. Your husband is like a stone wall, your support, protector, breadwinner, he keeps the family in its patriarchal model. You are a guided person, Rukh, caring and gentle. You’ll make your home cozy and hospitable, and the relationship harmonious.”

      “Your Juno is friendly with 3 planets – 3 types of men for marriage,” the Guardian specified.

      “Sextile, or a happy accident or chance, with Uranus in Scorpio in the Sphere of Love and Creativity means a bright or even brilliant personality, perhaps of a different nationality or faith, relationships are non-standard, fireworks of emotions that are remembered for lifetime. It’s connected with Sphere No. 9 – spiritual path and practices, philosophy, religion, temples, teachers, universities, publishing houses, everything foreign and alien, overseas.

      Sextile with Mars in Cancer from Backstage means a mysterious person, possibly a military man of secret services or an employee of secluded companies, a mystic, an introvert, an ascetic soul, perhaps an immigrant or living on an island. There’s a competitive spirit in the relationships. He is your soul mate, you’ll meet in a club of interest, through the Internet, the media and / or in a closed, isolated place.

      However, it’s better to find Jupiter in Taurus, we are in a trine, at a distance of 120 degrees, an ideal couple! Trine means the lightning-fast development of events and the solution of all problems by removing obstacles. Jupiter will make you happy. A like-minded patron or boss, related to your work and vocation. Status and intelligent person, interested in spirituality