Julia Rudenko

I am your woman!


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On the cot near her there lay a man.Some ugly yellow liquid was pouring down in the pipe coming out of his blankets right into the bucket. Dasha touched carefully her belly under the blanket. It was even again! A cold hot-water bottle below. But higher?! Nor bandage, nor plaster. How were they taking her baby out? Oh, god! What’s with him? With her son? Or daughter? She was afraid to ask anyone. Truly, there was no one to ask.

      It was dark outside – so it was night. It began dripping under the bed. Dasha managed only to lift her blanket a bit. As she saw there was also a pipe descending from her body into the bucket as that from the man nearby.

      Then a nurse with a syringe in her hand entered the ward. She rolled back the brim of Dasha’s blanket and rubbed her leg a little higher the knee with a piece of cotton wool. Then she made an injection. Dasha gave a short cry.

      The nurse went out. Dasha had no time to ask about her baby. It was the anaesthesiologist who told Dasha about her child. He came to see his patient in the morning. Before Dasha saw her baby, red and wrinkled, the obstetrician started massaging her breasts. Her cold hands went lower and lower, and she crumpled so strong as if she wasn’t a human being at all but just a big piece of dough. And it was a bit humiliating. Indeed, Dasha felt herself a sort of dough, an orange being squeezed. It hurt very much, but she had no desire to cry. She restrained herself.

      – Put on a gown and go to the maternity section, – the nurse said when leaving.

      On her way out of the reanimation Dasha touched the lower part of her belly. The ex-class-mate didn’t cheat her: the surgeon made a tiny horizontal cut.

      The space that drew her together with her husband, mum, girl-friends widened immensely when she put her baby – that clod of blankets and diapers – closer to her bright-red nipples. The child sucked them greedily, sipped milk stronger and stronger. At last he was sate.

      «My darling! I don’t let anyone offend you».

      A cockroach ran across the bed near Dasha. So she didn’t switch off the light so that the insects didn’t alarm her baby.

      Chapter 10

      It seemed Malcovich would be always lucky. Next morning he, Smirnov and Garov managed to sell the arms. Smirnov striked it off the register as unfit. Malcovich promised his friends to open an account in a bank for each of them and put a biggish sum to each.

      – Garik, do you have children?

      – No, just married.

      – Where’s your wife? Why didn’t you take her here?

      – To this rat-place?! Besides, she can’t leave her job —she won’t find any then, – said Sasha sorrowfully.

      Rats as if hearing they were told of began rustling at the round walls of the commandant’s office. One of them got out of the hole and smelled the air. Perhaps, it felt the scent of fried cutlets cooked by Svetlana on a small electric stove a little bit earlier. Smirnov took off his gin as quietly as he could and shot. Yes, he hit it. A minute later, a huge black smooth dog D… har came and carried away the killed rat. Smirnov blew into the gun’s muzzle in a film-like manner and put it aside:

      – Garik’s wife is too soft. Not like my Svetka! Through fire and water she’ll get to me! Absolutely fearless!

      – I see you like when she comes all of a sudden whether you’re unfaithful to her or not.

      – Let it be! All the same she won’t know! Even if she does she won’t leave me. Alone with children?

      – That ensign-woman is pretty enough! Very sexy! – Malcovich said baring his white even teeth.

      – Hold your tongue! Steady on! – as if jealous Smirnov grasped his gun.

      – Well, you can fight as much as you want. But I wash my hands and take off! – Garov said.

      – But who on earth will be my second at the duel? – Smirnov asked laughing.

      – I’d rather check the soldiers. I gave them a task – to clean up the bathhouse and under the awning. It’s terrible there you know. In brief, the soldiers are making the order.

      – That’s right of yours. Do go and control. – Smirnov paused, waited till Garov closed the door. Then turned to Malcovich.

      – He is so gloomy, that fellow Garov. Bored. Melancholic as they say. Still makes love with wife only. Too faithful! Wants to be good and honest all the time! But it’s too hard!

      – Don’t be so pitiful! We’ll help him as much as we can. OK? – Malcovich winked to Smirnov slyly. – By the by, I have a plan. Look!

      Andrei took a Parker ink-pen, seized a clear blank-form from the table and began drawing circles on it.

      – Here is the Centaur Development Firm. – Malcovich began. – It was to fulfill some construction works in the port of Eysk. But the deadline came and very little was done. It had no time to finish «em on time. Now this firm’s on the verge of bankruptcy. But I’ll come to the firm’s customer and pay with promissory notes what the Centaur didn’t do. As you can guess the Centaur owe me now! I give the Centaur some time to make profits. In a year this firm will return me this sum plus interest. Or it will build me a villa at the sea-side. So let’s «build the port»? Let’s try? Let’s risk? It’s a bonanza! – Malcovich pushed Smirnov slightly with his shoulder.

      But Smirnov wasn’t enthusiastic about it:

      – I’m sure you will. And I? We’re to shoot all these bloody bastards here in Grozny. Till the end I think.

      – It doesn’t matter. – Malkovich continued his speech with great gusto. – I have a friend of mine. She is a sort of deputy chief of УКС. She’s already signed some papers. Now with her help I’ll clear off the debt of УКС to the depositors of share-building. The УКС owe me! In a year or two I’ll demand flats from them to clear off their debt. You need a flat or not, Vadim Gennadievich?! Or perhaps you’re waiting when the State rewards you for your excellent service?! Who’ll give your children a house to live in, a roof over their heads? Where are they, by the way?

      – In Stavropol, in the hostel. With a room-mate.

      – Well, think it over! It is real to live in this country. If you want of course. But you don’t, Major. Don’t wait – grab it at once! Easily, joyfully and with dignity! And that fellow Garik we’ll take with us!

      – Don’t involve him in your schemes! I don’t let you spoil this guy! And I’m not going with you either.

      – OK. We’ll see later who’s right. Next time I’ll give you the keys from a Moscow flat! Again you refuse?!

      – In Moscow – of no use! I’ll get a flat in Rostov.

      – How long?

      – What d’you mean – how long?

      – How long are you on the waiting-list?

      – Five years.

      – And you’ll wait for twenty-five years as well!.. Am I right? Svetlana? – Malcovich asked Smirnov’s wife who’d just come.

      – Stop whispering you two! Again chatting of us women?! Let’s go and eat the cutlets until they are cold. When will you get married, Andryusha? Can’t stop tempting my husband!

      – It’s absolutely impossible! I tell him – look at this girl, look at that! But he – fuck off! I love my wife!

      Smirnov hit Malcovich slightly below his chest.

      Chapter 11

      Larisa Ivanovna Garova pushed the doorbell button on the gate in a high thick fence. A short-haired boxer called Vandamme began to bark, then Valeria’s mother shouted:

      – Shum!