Sunday Hindsight Diaries. Nastya Fall

with careless freedom of any prejudice or contempt.

      telling somebody you love them, dead sure that you meant it.

      staying up to watch the sky turning golden, then finally going to sleep.

      pathetically bawling cause this exact moment will never repeat.

      making wishes on shooting stars, magic numbers and dandelions.

      wanting something so desperately you start to believe in signs.

      breaking the rules, because you are fully entitled to it.

      never needing approval to make you valuable and complete.

      looking at the world from the hills, as if it’s in your hands.

      happiness is when it doesn’t matter that everything ends.

      15.01.2023

      ***

      before our vanity dies in vain

      i’ll carve my refrain in every vein,

      i’ll place your ill heart into a frame,

      my vengenerosity bears your name.

      27.01.2023

      ***

      maybe i managed to kill my past,

      it was kinda brutal, stabbing my beliefs.

      look at me now, i am stained with blood.

      don’t tell me time heals, it is no remedy.

      maybe i know how to cover up scars,

      how to fake smiles so that nobody sees.

      i’m always cut open inside of my heart

      and pain keeps reminding me i still exist.

      i really tried fighting the demons away,