she said, getting up from the couch.
“Don’t get up, Megan; I'll go hurry Finella along. I’m already hungry,” Glenn said, quickly standing up and heading to the kitchen.
At that moment, the phone rang. Warren excused himself and walked over to the grand staircase to answer it. Meanwhile, Craig turned to Megan and, seizing the opportunity to be alone with her, asked, “Are you avoiding me?”
“Of course not!”
“I've asked you out twice, and you turned me down.”
“I'm sorry, it was just bad timing,” Megan said, at a loss for how to properly respond to his question without hurting his feelings.
“So, you're saying there's still a chance? I just need to pick the right time?” he asked hopefully.
As they were sitting close, Craig tenderly brushed a strand of hair from her face, much like Derek often did. He leaned in closely, intending to kiss her. Megan quickly leaned her head back to avoid the kiss.
“Craig, I'm sorry, we're not alone… I'm just not ready…” she began to explain hurriedly, unsure of how to defuse this awkward situation.
“Sorry. I understand. I won't rush you,” he replied.
Glenn returned to the room, not noticing the tension that had lingered between Megan and Craig. Her appearance helped to ease the atmosphere.
Over dinner, both the girl and the young man tried to avoid eye contact. They were both upset by the uncomfortable situation that had occurred in the room, but tried their best to act naturally, as if nothing had happened. Without waiting for dessert, Craig excused himself by saying he had promised a friend to help with something, said goodbye to everyone and swiftly left.
“Meg, is everything all right? It seemed to me that Craig was upset about something,” Warren asked with concern.
“I don't know. I didn't notice. Maybe he has some personal problems; who knows! I'm going to my room; I want to have an early night tonight, you don’t mind?”
"Good night."
After saying goodbye to her relatives, Megan walked up to her room. She was tormented by a sense of guilt towards Craig, for possibly leading him on and giving false hope. She imagined how rejected he must now be feeling. Reason told her that it wasn't her fault. But to feel and to understand are two different things, and at that moment, they were battling inside her. The girl wanted to be alone as soon as possible to think over the day’s events: the call from her mother, preparations for Edinburgh, Craig…
Entering her room, she was greatly surprised to find Derek there. He sat in the chair by the window, legs crossed, arms folded over his chest. He was once again wearing his trousers and shirt, all in black.
“Derek!? You scared me! I didn't expect to see you so early.”
“Who were you expecting to see here? Craig?” he remarked, unable to contain his sarcasm.
“Did you see him? He joined us for dinner tonight.”
“Yes, I saw him; he just left, we passed each other a couple of meters apart. Why did he come?” Derek inquired.
“I told you before, he's Warren's friend, and he just came over for a friendly dinner.”
“I see. I think he's very interested in you.”
“What gives you that idea?”
“I don't know… male intuition.”
Megan had never seen Derek so agitated and tense, as if something was tormenting him inside. She decided to change the subject to find out what was really happening with him.
“Why did you come so early? It's only 9:20.”
He was staring into space, lost in his thoughts, not hearing the question.
“Derek!”
"Yes, Megan?” he looked at her as if he had just woken up.
“You've never come this early before. Is everything okay?"
“I got off work at 5 today and couldn’t wait to see you,” he replied calmly.
“I'm really happy you’re here. I missed you.”
“I missed you too,” he said, getting up and putting his arms around her before kissing her gently.
“My mom called today. She and Ted are coming, we’ve arranged to spend a few days together in Edinburgh. I'm going there on Saturday.”
“And then?” he asked tensely.
“I’ll come back.”
Each evening he spent with her, he feared hearing about her return to London. Today, he especially didn't want to broach the subject. He tried to steer the conversation away from it, but now realized it was inevitable.
“Okay, I’ll be waiting for you. What are your plans for tomorrow, and what did you do today?” he tried to guide the conversation in a direction he deemed appropriate.
“Same as usual. Work, Glenn, reading. Honestly, I'm starting to get bored with this lifestyle. My life in England was always so eventful and dynamic. I miss that. I don't know what to do with myself here. How long will this continue?! More precisely, how much longer can I take it?” Megan was depressed. She didn’t want to rake over all this again, but it was imperative for her to set her limits; she couldn’t wait in uncertainty forever.
Derek closed his eyes and sighed heavily, “Megan, I completely understand what you're waiting for from me. And I too want us to spend more time together. Not only at night but also during the day. But I can't give you that right now. Not because I don't want to, but because I can't, due to…certain circumstances.
“Derek, you say you love me, but we don’t go out. We don’t go anywhere together because everything is closed at night. You never call me. You don’t have days off. We’ve been together for more than three months, but nothing has changed. There's no development in the relationship. It’s all very strange and I’m plagued by various doubts and anxiety. Please understand I can’t stay here forever. Sooner or later, I’ll have to go back to London. What will happen to us then?” Megan was filled with despair and hopelessness as she laid these grievances on Derek.
“I’m sorry I’m causing you such discomfort. I understand perfectly well how you feel. You’ve got every reason to be angry with me. I need to know, in spite of all this, do you love me?”
“Of course, I do, but what does that change?”
“You've never told me that before.”
“I’m afraid – afraid of uncertainty and that you might hurt me.”
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, Megan. I love you. Give me a little time. Just one or two months, no more. I promise you everything will change. You’ll get answers to all your questions.”
His eyes were filled with so much sadness that Megan's heart clenched in pain.
“Fine,” she said with a note of resignation.
Derek hugged her tightly, feeling burdened himself by all the half-truths and deceit in which he has lived these past months. That night, he was the most passionate and tender lover in the world. Megan felt so good and peaceful because he was there. In such moments, she forgot all her fears concerning him. Beside her, was the most faithful and loving of all men. She believed in the sincerity of his feelings and knew that he truly loved her as deeply as she loved him. But she needed to wait another a little longer, as Derek had asked her to. They lay in bed, embracing. Megan looked at the clock – dawn was near, and it was time for him to leave again. Where? And why exactly at this time? These questions remained unanswered.
12. Story of the Past
Megan packed her suitcase, filled with a sense of joy in anticipation of the trip. Despite feeling sad about leaving Derek for five days, especially since their maximum separation over the past three months was no more than 24 hours, it did not overshadow the upcoming meeting with her